Herbie Fully Loaded

I suppose I could just really rake this movie over the coals if I wanted to, but what's the point? It'd be like beating a physically handicapped kid in arm wrestling - it's way easy, but you walk away without really accomplishing anything, and you feel kind of bad afterwards.

Plus, I'm not exactly part of the main demographic for this movie, and if you aren't part of the demographic, then why would you even consider paying money to see it? What are you expecting? This is a movie about a lifelike car that spits exhaust in the faces of bad guys, leaks oil on their bad guy shoes, and opens its trunk, doors, or glove compartment whenever something needs to be revealed or somebody needs to be strategically hit in a slapstick manner. If those types of shenanigans send you rolling down the aisles in apoplectic fits of laughter then you're in luck. However, if you're like me and aren't quite so easily amused then you might want to veer your hard-earned dollars in another direction.

Even though I've never been a fan of the Herbie series, and this movie did nothing to make me a convert, there are some positives. The most important being that Lindsay Lohan is looking very good and is in fine pre-anorexia, pre-fake blonde form. She claims her current look (Ode De Skeletal Olsen Twin) is for a movie she's doing in which she plays a fashion designer, and she promises to put her weight back on. I hope so because she definitely looks better with a little meat on them bones! The second positive is that the entire cast is giving it their best. They're not given great material to work with, but at least they look like they're having a little fun. I'm quite sure Matt Dillon is well aware that this isn't exactly a step up from his previous movie, Crash, but he doesn't use that as an excuse to phone in his performance, so I have to give credit there.

I think they should've renamed the movie though. I would've suggested Herbie: Fully Loaded WITH MUSIC MONTAGES! Sheesh. I honestly don't think I've ever seen one movie with that many montages. At times I thought I was watching a series of Disney music videos. What in the world? Was this a prime example of avoiding dialogue? Oh well. At times boring, and never threatening to entice riotous laughter, Herbie at least moves along at a decent pace and is never quite so stupid that it's intellectually insulting, so I won't be too harsh. I'm sure it's loads of fun for the really young (under 7). However, when I asked my 10-year-old brother what he thought of the movie he replied, "It was OK." When I asked if he thought it was funny he replied, "Kind of. I guess." Not exactly a ringing endorsement but not a total condemnation either.

Maggie Peytton is not overly impressed when her graduation gift from her race driver father is a busted VW beetle. Planning to ditch it at a gathering of car fans, Maggie inadvertently finds herself in a promotional street race with undefeated NASCAR champion Trip Murphy. What nobody knows is that this little VW is none other than former sensation Herbie – sadly now confined to the scrap heap of history (literally). When Maggie wins, Murphy is outraged and sets out to engineer a rematch while Maggie tries to work out quite what it is about this little car that makes her drive so fast.

I think it is important to come into this film as a fan of the Herbie films rather than someone for whom the laws of thermodynamics must be rigidly applied across all film genres. I say this because much of the film is absurd and there will be those wringing their hands about the simply impossible moves that the little car makes, however these same people should also keep in mind that they are watching a film about a mischievous car that is alive. It is important to enter into the spirit of the film and, in fairness, Fully Loaded does help the viewer as much as possible by being wonderfully charming and disarming.

It doesn't really have a bad bone in its body and I must admit that I found it refreshingly clean family entertainment that was easy to enjoy even if it was just as easy to forget. Of course if you're not sold on this charm and find it grating or silly from the start then you should bail out because it will not get easier for you as it gets sillier the longer it goes on. Director Robinson delivers a good clean script really well, not making it post0ironic but totally hitting the innocent charm that made the character so good in the first place. Herbie himself is quite fun but it is the main cast that do the harder job of getting the mood right.

Ignore her real-life personae and just watch Lohan for what she does here and you'll find her performance to be quite good and fitting the film. Keaton, Dillon, Long and Meyer are all solid and provide the film with a professional feel in the cast. Overall then this is a fun and clean family film that is surprisingly charming and effective. Getting into the swing with it is important as the action is very silly at times and it is only if you are feeling it that you can forgive it. For me, I was right there with it and enjoyed it for the simple fun it was.

Herbie: Fully Loaded is just what I expected from this next installment of the famous Love Bug series. I am not sure how many there were (and I am too lazy to look), but I have seen them all. The same things I liked about the originals, I liked about this one. Same with the dislikes. I am able to suspend my disbelief only so far. However, I do realize this movie is mainly for KIDS and I am able to let go of it's obvious flaws. I did like how Herbie was animated just a bit to show his personality just a little more.

Ray Peyton Sr. (Michael Keaton) was a legendary racer and wants nothing more than his son Ray Peyton Jr. (Breckin Meyer) to be the "Next Great Peyton". The only problem is that Jr. has a unique problem which causes him to crash for apparently no reason, even when no one else is around. The other thing is, Maggie Peyton (Lindsay Lohan) is the more gifted of Sr.'s children.

After Maggie ends up with Herbie, although she does not really want him at first, he takes it upon himself to take on the current racing legend, Trip Murphy (Matt Dillon), in a street race and beats him. This strikes a nerve with Trip who wants to ruin Herbie and his mysterious driver "Max". Bet you can't figure out who Max is. Anyways, the racing scenes are very similar to the racing scenes of the past movies. I am not sure, but I believe the opening scenes were clips from past movies.

Matt Dillon is excellent as the antagonist, as he usually is. He plays the egotistical Trip in quite the humorous way. Also, Lindsay Lohan was beautiful and perfect for the role. To be honest, I may not have seen Herbie if she was not starring in it. Also, Michael Keaton has visibly aged here and not in a very good way. Justin Long also puts in a fine performance as Kevin. Also, I did not even realize I was watching a "G" Rated movie. I am not sure when the last time I saw one of those was but it was refreshing to be able to look back at the movie I just saw and not be able to come up with anything questionable about it.

If you have seen any of the Herbie movies then you know whether or not you will like this one. Please don't be shocked if you have seen them and still choose to go see this movie. If you did not like it, then it is entirely your fault. Maybe movies are too complicated for someone like that to enjoy. 7/10

Lindsay Lohan plays a Los Angeles college grad from a NASCAR family whose graduation present from pop Michael Keaton is the same '63 Volkswagen Beetle from 1968's "The Love Bug" and its horde of cinematic follow-ups. 'Herbie', a car with a mind of its own, not only gets Lohan back on the racing track, but plays matchmaker for her and a cute auto-mechanic as well. Not especially imaginative, but a nice family film with some mild laughs (one which is sweetly in-tune with its '70s roots). The story denouement is utterly predictable, and the performances are all phoned-in (Lohan is so enervated, she barely reacts the first time she realizes her car is possessed). Still, the pace is fast, the music selections bright, and the special effects are good. ** from ****

I took my six year old, his seven year old friend, and a two year old to see Herbie. The options for family films are limited. I am happy to see entertainment for children remain clean and not contain any comments that are meant for adults and not children. The kids loved it. We all enjoyed it. Kids do not focus on the fact that it is not realistic. They both wanted to grow up and have a car just like Herbie. It also brought back fond memories for me due to seeing the original film in my childhood. I found the movie very entertaining and one of the best family films produced in a long time. It was nice to have something other than cartoons to watch. I appreciate the fact that my children are innoccent and I would like for them to stay that way for just a little while. Herbie was well worth the money and I would recommend it for family night out.