Vampires vs. Zombies

This is by far the worst movie I have ever seen!!!!

I can honestly say I have never seen a movie worse than this one!!!

AND I MEAN NEVER!!!!

I'm a BIG fan of "B" horror movies. As you may imagine.... I've been exposed to some of worst that the movie industry has to offer.

I was lured to this movie by it's title. I mean c'mon... what true fan of horror wouldn't be intrigued by a title like "Vampires vs. Zombies"??? Images of the "undead" battling each other to the "undeath" danced in my head. I thought to myself... "this I've got to see"!!!!

Well.... sorry to say.... "this I wish I hadn't seen"!!!!!

This movies title is very misleading to say the least. There was no vampires fighting zombies. In fact, there is no plot!!!! If you were to ask me what this movie is all about I could honestly tell you I have no idea!!!

There was no plot!!!!

There was no story!!!!

This movie absolutely makes no sense at all!!!!

At the end of this debacle... I found myself feeling sorry for the poor souls who had invested their money into this project for they surely have no business sense!!!

In this strangely-lackadaisical apocalypse, the world suffers from a dual plague of zombies and vampires, but no one seems to be too worried about it in this Grade-Z film which bares less resemblance to Sheridan Le Fanu's famous short novel than my mother's lasagna recipe. Bored attendants still run gas stations and doctors still make house calls and helpful police officers still show up with radiator fluid just when you need it. The plot, and I use that term loosely, involves a father and a daughter trying to rendevous with "the general," whose daughter is missing, at a church to kill a vampire who, very conveniently, happens to be traveling with the father and daughter. I must confess that a moment or two of genuine humor can be found between vast stretches of unintentional humor. The film also boasts just enough nudity to keep a boy of fourteen interested. Anyone older beware.

The above seemed a much more appropriate title when me and my suicidal underlings decided to watch this masterpiece of modern bullshit.

Erotic, scary, suspenseful, well thought out, these are all the things this film fails to be.

It is however incredibly funny. The slow sound effects and bad dubbing add to this to make one of the greatest comedies I have seen in recent years. And yet this film doesn't even offer and attempt at humor and that is one of the movies grand achievements, it becomes a comedy without even trying to amuse.

Throughout the film, an old guy who looks amazingly like Santa Claus goes around ploughing over zombies and smashing vampires into the ground. This made me fail to believe the films title, if this was vampires vs zombies why were vampires and zombies not fighting? Oh well, whatever, besides there were more flaws to this rental than the title.

Such as this one; there has been a virus sweeping through America creating zombie like beings who go around acting a lot like your average tourist. However there are only four zombies in the entire film. Another problem is besides one shop the entire set is deserted. Surely you'd see zombies roaming about in the woods or in the background a bit? It honestly seemed like they just drove around in a circle of forest over and over again since they didn't have a high enough budget to film in a wider location. It was that or the director didn't want to waste his precious time filming in different areas of wood. He was to busy sitting in a trailer jerking off to be bothered with such trivial matters.

Seemingly the director had so much fun doing this that he didn't have enough time to hire a big enough cast or even an editor. And so he told the eight members of the cast to dress up as different people and try not to act inconspicuous, whilst I assume he changed his name and began randomly snipping at the film reels "editing isn't a hard job anyway right?" The only reason this "movie" found it's way into our bag was because somehow we got it confused with Freddy vs Jason, strange how these things happen isn't it? And the only way we made it though the night was by strapping gas masks on and bolting them to our skulls to avoid the stink of this nauseating mess.

Oh yes we did laugh at the end, but I'm sure one does that a lot when he has lost his sanity...................

Yes, this movie is bad. What's worse is that it takes no advantage whatsoever of its own title!! In the ENTIRE movie, zombies and vampires fight each other ONCE OR TWICE. On top of that, we're never really sure if the main character in the movie is DEFINITELY a vampire. One might argue they were trying to "tone it down" or make it "realistic," but it ends up just boring. More than half of this movie takes place IN A CAR. The scenes that take place anywhere else aren't much to brag about, either. Also, there's no clear antagonist, and in the end you have no idea what really happened for the last 30 minutes of the movie.

However, I will say that for a film this low in production value, the soundtrack was surprisingly appropriate and instrumented (with either an origonal score or sampled music from elsewhere).

I'm all for independent films, but it doesn't look like this was ever intended for a mass audience (if any).

"worse than Scarecrow slayer."

I like zombie movies, and I like vampire movies, so when I saw a movie called Vampires vs Zombies, I had to rent it, even though I knew it would be low budget and probably kind of silly. One thing I absolutely demand from a movie with the title of Vampires vs Zombies and a tag line of "the war between the undead has begun", is that vampires and zombies actually fight. There might have been vampires in the movie (the ending left that ambiguous), and there were certainly zombies, but they never really fought, and there certainly wasn't a war between them. The zombies didn't seem to be of particular concern to anyone, even though you hear the occasional news report about the dead coming back to life, you don't see anyone barricading their houses, or trying to find a safe place, people mostly go about their daily business, and the zombies are a minor irritant, like mosquito's. There is some decent lesbian action, and this chick with black hair shows up in a couple of dream sequences, and she's super hot, so it kept me watching for that reason alone. The movie was really bad, and didn't deliver what the title and tag line promised, just skip it and get a lap dance instead.