May 33rd

This extraordinary TV drama deserved more publicity and reviews. It is totally absorbing, beginning as the character attempts her escape from the life of abuse that is all she has known from childhood onwards.

This is the first drama I have ever seen about the phenomenon of dissociative identity disorder (DID), or multiple personality disorder. In the case of Ella Wilson, the character brilliantly played by Lia Williams, her mental problems stem from the cycle of brutal sexual abuse by a group of paedophiles, some of whom are relatives. When she visits an osteopath, Edward, his touch releases different personalities, and as he gradually understands the nature of the problem he intervenes to help her. But one of Ella's personalities is given to sudden acts of aggression, and Edward abruptly realizes his family may be at risk.

The immense problems suffered by a person with DID in finding anyone who will believe them, let alone help them, are agonizingly explored in this film. The acting, direction and camera work are superb, and Ella's repeated attempts at escaping from the cycle have a hypnotic effect. Not a happy film, but one to make you think for a long time afterwards.

I remember watching this just after I was diagnosed and it was a good starting point for discussions with my T. I only managed to watch it once so I don't know specifics but my overall impression was that WOW that was a pretty good impression of what dissociation is like. I know there were points that annoyed me as being clichéd but overall I think it was good. Although it wasn't the same as what I experience it was close enough. People focus so much on the switching aspect of DID but I seem to remember this explained the sensory changes as well. For example laying on the floor not moving for hours, fascinated by textures etc. There is a scene, I appear to remember at the end of her walking down a street and her body posture and look seem right. The costume department did well in getting her dressed (clothes not matching because different people have bought them). She was good at describing the dysfunction of a multiple life. However I don't seem to remember much about the positivity and benefits of DID though I believe there was some humour. I was annoyed at the time because I was then functional. Now two years later, I'm not! I believe there was some allusion in the film to the fact that earlier in her life she had functioned in an outside life fully but then life had gone off the rails. Could be triggering to abuse survivors but different people are different by different things and I found it manageable.