Graveyard Alive

The only reason this is being given a two is because I have to give credit to the dream sequences - they were actually quite stylish and had a pretty convincing horror tone to them.

Otherwise, if it was supposed to be silent, they should've kept it silent as the post-production ADR was REALLY distracting throughout the film, which also made the over-acting look absolutely ridiculous. Not looking to blame the actors, they were only doing what they were directed to do.

The movie was pretty painful to watch overall and although I kept hoping it would get better, it only got worse. I was so paralyzed by how horrible the film was that I couldn't even reach for the remote to turn it off.

It makes you wonder how movies like this EVER make it past a high school project, as that's what it felt like. There are so many brilliant independent movies out there that never make it and it's so painfully disappointing that something like this ends up representing Canadian film...unbelievable.

A woodsman is taken to a hospital with an axe in the back of his head, and nurse Pasty looks after him. Also on her plate is that she still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend Dr. Dox, but he's engaged to Nurse Goodie. Who makes her life at the hospital a living hell, as she constantly teases her. Looking in on the very pale and peeling woodsman, he expresses his love for Pasty and bites her on the arm. Not too long she's has the same symptoms, but also she has grown confident and sexually appealing to the male staff. But to stop her skin from falling off and hands and legs from stiffing up, she'll give into the craving of flesh to keep this make-up. However Nurse Goodie goes out of her way to prove there's something wrong with Pasty.

There's something lovable about zombie films, and this particular shoestring b/w Canadian independent entry to the field was actually a breath of fresh air. Due to the effort put into making "Graveyard Alive: A Zombie Nurse In Love", and finally getting it out to the public. You can call it a labour of love, because their heart was definitely in it and the final product shows. What we got here can be called somewhat a unconventional droll parody on soapies (those mainly based in a hospital) with a smart zombie splash to it and a familiar throwback style to the cheap, static and moody genre films of 40s and 50s. There's a light-headed mixture of elements there (even use of chapter headings cutting between the story's structure reminded me of the golden silent age of cinema), which actually gel quite well.

Director Elza Kephart makes light of the clichés, to set-up a real quirky, kinky and sombre feel. Her pacing can get a little stiff, but the way she goes about it is stylishly low-scale, and from this plenty of effectively haunting and also amusing images are drummed up. Pitching in are some slight, and inventive camera angles and shadowy lighting, which these old-fashion traits lent to the seductive mood. The film does looks ace! The editing is also professionally catered for. The schlock make-up effects are very minimal, but still kinda pay off. However those looking for an influx of splatter and violence will be largely disappointed.

Patricia Gomez and Elza Kephart's flavoured pulp material (which reinvents certain details on zombie folklore) keeps it all pretty dry and constantly has fun with itself, but it doesn't play out like you would think. While it never does go overboard in the humour stakes, but maybe it could've gone out to shock a little more, then for most part hiding behind the mockery. One thing did get on my nerves from time to time was that twitchy, one-note music score. The performances are mostly dramatically campy and that seems on purpose. A savvy Anne Day-Jones excels in the deadpan lead role Nurse Pasty, as she brings out the right sort of temperament and expressions to convey her startling transformation. Samantha Slan's ham-fisted comic turn as Nurse Goodie is reasonably fun.

Quite unique in patches and something fairly different from the zombie norm. Flawed, but not a bad little charmer. Get the doggy bag ready.

This is a true rarity in the genre, if only because it was written, directed, and produced by women. Horrors created exclusively by men are a dime a dozen, but women's involvement behind the scenes has been sadly lacking. This one took four years to get made, and then another four years (post-festival circuit) to finally get a DVD release this month. That's all very unfortunate, because this unique low-budget zomromcom is an overall success. It tells the story of frumpy Nurse Patsy, who isn't over her love for former beau Dr. Dox. Unfortunately, he's getting married to Nurse Goodie Teuscheuze, who taunts Patsy in the workplace like a little brat on a playground. While caring for a woodcutter with an ax in his head (!), Nurse Patsy gets bitten. She soon finds her appetite for sex increasing, her self-esteem raising, and her skin falling off. Unfortunately, a craving for human flesh comes with her new-found sex drive. This movie is a total hoot. It plays out like a 50s b-movie mixed with a "hospital soap opera." The lead actress plays it straight-faced, but all of the other actors ham it up like they're in a horror spoof of "General Hospital." It works better than it sounds. The dialogue is witty and the delivery is spot-on. The narrative feels a bit predictable at first, but it twists into unique and surprising territory. It's very funny in places, though feels a little thin in spots. Overall, it's better than most indie zombie movies. Thumbs up, though the amateur cast interviews in the special features are best left unwatched for various reasons...

"Patsy Powers" (Anne Day-Jones) is a young but lonely nurse working at a hospital who is called upon to assist in a special case involving a patient with an axe buried into his head. The operation appears to be a success and as he is recovering he and Patsy begin to have feelings for one another. However, when they try to get intimate the patient bites Patsy--which results in her slowly becoming a zombie. Meanwhile, as this transformation is going on Patsy loses her shy inhibitions and begins to attract the other male doctors and staff who happen to work with her. Anyway, so much for the plot. As far as the movie itself is concerned I will just say that it definitely had some weaknesses. For example, if this ultra low-budget film was intended to be a comedy then it failed miserably as the humor just wasn't that sharp. Likewise, if the movie was meant to be a horror film then it wasn't very effective at that either. On the other hand, the director (Elza Kephart) was quite imaginative and used a number of tricks and gimmicks to keep this film somewhat interesting. But it just wasn't enough. Accordingly, I rate this film as below average.

A homely nurse is attracted to the head doctor (who she had previously dated in high school), but he is in love with Nurse Goody Two-Shoes. After getting bit by a zombie, the nurse starts to become more attractive.. but to maintain her youthful skin, she must devour human flesh. Good thing she works in a place with plenty of freshly arriving corpses.

Another reviewer says, "The movie was pretty painful to watch overall and although I kept hoping it would get better, it only got worse." This sums up the problem with this film, I think. It started off actually pretty good. The overacting and soap opera antics were amusing, but these became less apparent as the film went on and the plot just unraveled. I can't even explain how, but all of a sudden it was so bland that nothing could save it.

Granted, the Ukrainian guy was pretty cool. He could have used a bigger role. But that was about it. Everything else just bored me. You'd like to think that after the nurse becomes "hot" that maybe her hotness would hold my interest. Well, no, because she wasn't hot. She had nice shoes and stockings, but she was still just as plain as ever (see movie cover).

The flesh-eating scenes were minor, the gore was decent but nothing special. The nudity was basically not even there (maybe I saw some cleavage, or something). Anything that could cover for a weak plot was absent. How many times can I watch her carve strips of flesh off a corpse? The ending was decent, but I don't know if it made up for the rest of the movie. Actually, I know it didn't. It was so non-shocking. I can't say what it is, of course, and I don't suggest you watch the film to find out. But if you must watch it, just don't hold your breath for the finale, because it's nothing clever at all. Actually, let me beg of you -- please don't watch this film.