Bailey's Billion$

Dean Cain has truly gone to the dogs - far from being a super man he has been hit with a different kind of Kryptonite as in K-9, in this picture, he plays a canine version of a "horse-whisperer" and is the sole character in this tale who understands a mutt (whose voice is played by Jon Lovitz, which was redeeming in the sense it was typecasting and therefore not as annoying as usual) that inherits a fortune and Tim Curry is the villain who tries to seize the loot for himself.

Jennifer Tilly plays a role similar to what Valerie Perrine played in the first "Superman" movie with Christopher Reeve, the difference being that Valerie was a sultry ditzy vixen but Tilly played a simpering virago who pretends to be smart.

Filmed in Canada and using Canadian court practices, this tale uses tried and true methods of previous films that use kids & canines - emphasis on the tried to the point of trying, as in too damn hard on a worn out old vehicle.

The best way to watch this picture is if you have insomnia one night and need a natural tranquiliser, yawn!

http://tinyurl.com/3464k/

Bailey (a handsome golden retriever, voiced by Jon Lovitz) has just been left a billionaire by his recently deceased, animal-rights advocate owner. Naturally, the heiress' only relative, nephew Caspar Pennington (Tim Curry) and his greedy wife, Dolores (Jennifer Tilly) are ticked off royally. It seems this duo has already borrowed most of the grand lady's foundation money to fund a secret "puppy mill" behind the non-profits' headquarters and to foster their lavish lifestyle. To make matters worse, Bailey can not be bumped off without suspicion and, besides, he has a constant companion, Theodore (Dean Cain), an odd-duck animal behavioralist who can actually "talk" to the wealthy canine. As a front, the Pennington's employee a leading animal rights advocate, Marge (Laurie Holden) to handle the foundation's communications. Ever scheming, the Pennington's hit on the idea that they will "kidnap" Bailey and ask for ransom. Can they pull it off? This film, probably made on an ultra-slim budget, is just wonderful. First, the cast is marvelous, as Cain is a great attraction, even in glasses, and there is a subtle romance for him with the lovely Holden. Lovitz, too, does a fine job as the voice of Bailey. As for Curry and Tilly, they are a dynamic duo, with Curry doing his quietly sarcastic rants that serve as a perfect foil to Tilly's screechy explosions. All of the lesser characters, including the animals, are nice as well. Bailey's digs are a beautiful mansion with extensive grounds while the costumes and production values are quite fine, too. As for the script, it may be formulaic but it is fun, fun, fun, with enough action and suspense to tantalize the typical family audience, or indeed, anyone at all. Why don't you do what I did and plunk down a measly $5.00 bucks to purchase a copy of this winning flick? For a small investment, this films delivers big, big smiles and sighs.

Tim Curry and Superman couldn't save this atrocious mutty movie.

The movie is about a mutt who is inherited billions of money. WHY?????? That's crazy.

The quality of the movie is clumsy.

This movie made me hate dogs even more

Verdict: Don't see it.

I was a teacher in a Hamilton school where the crew ate their lunches between takes, as scenes from this one were being shot. I wanted to see street scenes I recognized, so I ordered in pay-per-view for my kids, 10 and 6. They seemed to like it. I didn't recognize a single Hamilton location. Moreover, I couldn't believe how few jokes were in the script, how thin the characters were, how uninspired the plot and the performances. I like Mary Walsh as a CBC satirist and she's created and played some funny newfie characters, but it's obvious that for this movie, she took the cash and handed in a quickly-written piece of doggy doo doo. I think we've seen the last of Bailey. Bow wow!

I actually feel really bad for saying this. I love family movies, and the cast especially Tim Curry really intrigued me. Although the concept has been done to death, part of me thought it would be at least amusing and charming. However, apart from one or two half-decent things, as much as I wanted to like it, Bailey's Billion$ just didn't work for me.

As I've said there are some things I liked. The best asset about it was the soundtrack, with classics such as the Carmen suite, a lovely instrumental of La Boheme's Quando M'en Vo and Nessun Dorma from Turandot as well as some upbeat contemporary songs, it was a joy to listen to. I loved the locations too, the editing could've been more fluid and tight, however the mansion and scenery were breathtaking. And the dogs were adorable, and Jon Lovitz while deserving of more to do does appeal as Bailey.

However, I didn't like everything else. I wasn't impressed by the acting that much. Dean Cain and Laurie Holden are charming but their material is underwritten and their story uninteresting so they can't do much with them. The children also try hard, but their problems are similar, nothing in the writing is done to make them stand out more.

I'm sorry to say that I also didn't think much of Jennifer Tilly and Tim Curry, and that saddens me because I like Tilly and have been a big fan of Curry for years now. True, they do have great chemistry together. The problem is while Cain and Holden are underused, Tilly and Curry are used too much. What's worse is they don't have much to work with. Both perform with gusto, but with mixed results.

Curry's asides weren't sarcastic enough for my tastes, but he does make an effort with the delivery, that said I did find he did look embarrassed at some points in the film. Tilly though is much more problematic, now I accept that Dolores is a evilly over-the-top and shrill sort of character who likes to make out she's intelligent but she's not really, but nothing in the story or writing are done to go beyond that and Tilly, bless her heart, ends up over-doing it badly.

I don't blame the cast really though for Bailey's Billion$ not working out. Three things especially don't work. One is the script, which I'd say is the main culprit. Overall, it was very dull and weak, with Casper and Dolores' many scenes together coming across as cheesy and overdone in particular. The courtroom scene had its moments and the beginning maintained interest, but that's it. The story just didn't engage me either, I found Bailey's Billion$ dully paced with too many predictable scenes that don't flow well from one scene to the next, the whole sequence with the attempt to kidnap Bailey was a prime example and it also didn't add anything new or fresh to the table.

I didn't care for any of the characters either. Now it is not always a bad thing when the characters are clichéd, but it is when little or nothing is done to make the characters interesting, which sadly is the case with Bailey's Billion$. The direction also for my liking felt rather stodgy. Overall, I am so sorry but despite the soundtrack, locations, dogs and my love for Tim Curry, I didn't like Bailey's Billion$ at all. 3/10 Bethany Cox