Touch of Pink

It strikes me first that critics aren't particularly fair to gay themed films and tend to give them lower ratings than they deserve, citing, of course, other reasons. This film was thoroughly enjoyable fun, with terrific performances by all and a perfect one by Kyle MacLachlan as Cary Grant's ghost. It was a fresh, inventive take on the well worn theme of mom visits son and discovers he is gay. This was reminiscent of romantic comedies of the 1940's, which was certainly intentional. I don't think you have to be gay to enjoy it, but cynics beware. It's a light and happy experience. I wished I had Cary Grant hanging around as Alim did.

WARNING: Not only spoilers but some personal comments/rants

Yeah, the premise is stale - multicultural (white/non-american) gay couple, homophobic mother, coming out etc. For most people, Cary Grant/Kyle Maclahan was the best aspect of the movie. Kyle Maclahan has clearly enjoyed himself, and it is a delight to watch him perform. But there is more to the movie. It is surprisingly realistic! Now reviewers I have a lot of respect for, including NY Times, have been harsh on the movie and that is understandable even though it's surprising. In my humble opinion, based on living in the South Asian culture for 27+ years of my life, I beg to differ.

The fundamental difference between the "Western" culture and the "Asian" culture, as I can see, is the disproportionate emphasis on family in Asian culture as opposed to individuality, privacy, and personal space. To give you an example, in all the time I lived in India (the first 22 years of my life), I never had my "own" room. Even my parents didn't have their bedroom. Everyone slept in the living room. We shared closets for keeping clothes, shelves for books etc. People grow up differently under such circumstances. You learn to "sacrifice" for the sake of family. A tremendous amount of the individual pride in the Western culture - all that living your life to the fullest extent, being what you want to be in life, making your own choices and learning to take responsibility for them - is lost. It resurfaces as family pride. You do everything for your family. Your family has to be the best it can be. Your choices are guided by the ultimate prestige of the family. The elders (the heads of the family) make the choices for the younger ones. You would live at your parents' house till you are married to a person of opposite sex and once your parents retire, you and your spouse become heads of the family. Then its your turn. Even then you can't make decisions based on your preferences but based on what is "appropriate" to maintain and build the prestige of the family.

I am probably saying stuff people think they know. You really don't until you experience it. I've found my American friends find all the Indian movies (Bollywood) very amusing with all its over-the-top melodrama. Having lived in US for 5+ years, I find it over-the-top and am turned off by it most of the time. But when I do sit and watch an Indian movie, I'm sucked into it at some point. I've always wondered why. The reason is this: in India, people actually live like that. My parents are living proofs for this fact. Everything is turned into an emotional blackmail so that I uphold the prestige of the family and help my parents "win" in their social life. Yes, parents actually consider arranged marriages of their children as personal victories in upholding family prestige and "love" marriages of their children as personal failures. Oh, the fact that I'm gay doesn't even enter the picture! So, for all its unbelievability and over-the-top amateur production values, this movie is indeed believable, simply because I have heard this very dialog from my own mother about plunging a knife in her heart for something much less trivial than falling in love with a "phirangi" - a foreign (different skin-colored) woman. Is my mom a selfish controlling monster? She probably is, according to Western culture, because she wants me to marry a South Indian, Iyengar Brahmin girl of good heritage despite the fact that I am gay, and that she'd throw much worse tantrums than Nuru ever did in the movie. But then, I know my mom better. I know the kind of personal sacrifices she did for the sake of her family, sacrifices that would have been called foolish, stupid, and naiveté by Western culture. Now I won't marry a girl and "sacrifice" like her, but I do understand that in my mom is a manipulator and a victim. I completely understand why Alim went to Toronto after his mom than stay in London and go after Giles.

The movie touched me personally despite being flawed in many ways. Jimi Mistry's performance was horrible and Giles and Alim had almost no chemistry. The production values were amateurish. The biggest problem for me with the movie was that Alim's character was not fleshed out at all even in the screenplay level. Despite all that, the movie rang true in a number of levels for me and did not stereotype or reduce the issue of a gay man coming out in an Indian culture to a caricature. I applaud Ian Iqbal Rashid for that.

7 out of 10

This is a funny movie that is a light approach to coming out to a Muslim family. The mother is really the star of this movie--her character was complex, realistic, and comical. Kyle Mac. was excellent in the role of a Cary Grant angel who helps Alim with his problems in life. The movie would not have worked without the Cary Grant angel so my hat is off to the screenwriter for putting that into the screenplay. There were many funny moments between "Cary" and Alim. The relationship between Alim and his boyfriend was more realistic than many couples in gay-themed movies. There were conflicts over staying in the closet, there were culture clashes (Pakistani vs. English/Muslim vs. Atheist/Toronto vs. London), and infidelities while the relationship was in turmoil. The issue of responsibility to parents and family versus following ones own feelings about how to live was also touched on. I was a little hesitant to see this film but I am glad I did.

I saw this film at Sundance and was completely surprised at how much I loved it. I am not always into gay-themed films (I'm a straight woman), but this film is really for everyone (open-minded, that is). The story is not new in that it's a romantic comedy, but the journey of the characters (the two leads, and the mother) is a good one. It was funny, and it made me cry...the perfect combination for a film. The actors were great. Especially Kyle MacLachlan, who was SO funny and SO good. I have loved him since "Twin Peaks," but this was just above and beyond anything he has done recently. And Kristen Holden-Reid is my new favorite actor. He has a great presence on screen, and pulled off a flawless English accent. I completely recommend this film.

A remarkably charming homage to a dozen 40's, 50's and 60s romantic comedies. The plot is a standard coming-out-to-mom story, not particularly surprising, but mom and auntie are brilliant. Entire scenes are lifted from Doris Day/Katherine Hepburn/Cary Grant movies.

Kyle MacLachlan as the spirit of Cary Grant mentors a gay Indian man in Toronto and London while the boyfriend charms the sari off of mom. The ambitious and acquisitive relatives plan a ridiculous marriage while the alienated son clings to an integrity no one else bothers with.

At last, a story that's not poignant or heartwarming, just funny and good.