- Bam Margera: "Fuck You 3", take one.
- Brandon Dicamillo: Yo yo, what's up? Listen, I hope you're doing good.
- [Pirate voice]
- Brandon Dicamillo: Aaargh! And I want to tell ya about the video... It's got lots of bad things in it, like shits and pussy-wussies!
- [Normal voice]
- Brandon Dicamillo: But you won't want to miss out on-
- [Bam slaps Brandon; Brandon changes to informative voice]
- Brandon Dicamillo: Yes, the video you're about to see contains horrible things. Things that will make you not succeed in life, and at school. You'll do bad forever.
- [British accent]
- Brandon Dicamillo: Right, and you'll fucking see some other bullshit that they won't want you to see. But when you do see it, you'll be fucking happy they did!
- [Sportscaster voice]
- Brandon Dicamillo: Oh, brings it around the back of the video! Looks like he doesn't wanna watch it, 'cause there's lots of warnings! He tucks it in, and he SCOOOOOOORES!
- [Bam slaps Brandon again; switches back to informative voice again]
- Brandon Dicamillo: Yes, so pay attention and don't do this at home! 'Cause if you do, you'll pay the consequences! That's right.
- Brandon Dicamillo: I'll fuck your mother's asshole! Den I will fuck your father's ass-hole! Drrrbang-bang! Drrrbang-bang! I'll strike you down like cobra!