The Gingerdead Man

Before I get blasted, I want to acknowledge that I am familiar with Full Moon films and have seen quite a few over the years (the 'Trancers' series is among my favorites), but 'The Gingerdead Man' was an unfortunate mess. There are pros and cons, though... and believe it or not, the killer cookie (looking very much like it's made of rubber) is the best part.

I've become a fan of Gary Busey in his "is he insane?" recent years, so his presence either in live form or vocally as a cookie is really amusing. The other actors aren't as bad as one might expect, either. But everything else in the film drags and drags and draaaaaaags, not to mention the production budget appears to be under $100 (check out the bakery sign that looks like it was painted for a junior high pep rally). I know these flicks are self-financed, and that's a great thing, but there wasn't much to work with.

The movie clocks in at around 60 minutes, so for there to be so many slow spots (i.e., scenes sans cookie) it was difficult to watch. Will this be a cult classic? Yeah, probably, just given the featured actor and the premise. But it's just not very good, even by Full Moon's standards.

Sometimes you've just gotta watch a stinker, and this undoubtedly fits that bill. It's the brief (but not quite brief enough) saga of a cold-blooded killer who's put to death, then somehow returns to life as a stabbin', laughin', wise-crackin', foot-tall slab of holiday confectionery. As if that premise needed a little extra kick, this monstrous devil-cookie also happens to be voiced by Gary Busey. The concept itself is hilarious for all of ten minutes, but burns out quickly as the plot tries, courageously but hopelessly, to make us care about his victims. It's atrociously acted of course, the equivalent of D-grade porn stars who keep their clothes on, so those misguided storytelling efforts don't even have a fighting chance. A moment rarely passes without some manner of absurd stupidity. If it isn't a particularly bad pun, a wickedly awful special effect or a pathetic dash of vacant dialog, surely there's a glaringly obvious editing mistake in view. We're talking night-becomes-day-becomes-night, several times in the same scene. Removing a baking pan from the oven with bare hands, commenting on how its contents are freshly scorched, then casually setting it aside. Firing seventeen times from a six-shooter. Though it runs for just an hour and ten minutes, that seems about twice as long as it should've. I had almost as much fun glancing at the cover art as I did watching the entire thing.

With a title like that, and the premise being a walking/talking/killing cookie, I think most viewers will picture this movie being a (black) comedy. And it could have worked - I thought that the original "Jack Frost" movie, about a killer snowman, worked. But in this case, NOTHING works. The movie is really cheap, looking like a backyard production made in the 1980s and shelved for twenty years without any restoration. There's also a minimalist feel, with barely enough props and scenery, all looking very unconvincing. Gary Busey just seems to be going through the motions, with the scene he actually appears in as well as voicing the killer cookie. The supporting cast comes across as even worse, if that's possible, not helped by a script that makes them the stupidest characters I've seen in a movie for a long time. And even though the movie barely lasts 60 minutes (not counting the s-l-o-w closing credits), it goes by at such a slow pace that it feels endless. This movie actually has spawned two sequels, making me conclude that it was even cheaper than I thought, since I can't see most people liking this movie.

The problem with this video cheapie isn't necessarily the concept. Sure the concept is cheesy and all but the film itself should abide by the rules of a good cheesy movie. Instead half of this film focuses on a teenage love triangle in bakery one scary night. It's like watching a soap opera called 'General Bakery'. The biggest plot hole here is that everyone stays inside the friggin bakery and lets a Gingerbread Man chase them around! No one ever thinks to get out or go get help when someone is hurt. Also there is no explanation whatsoever as to who the guy with the black cape was that brought the gingerbread dough to the bakery (I'm supposing it was Darth Vader). Of course it takes a little blood mixed with this dough to make an evil gingerbread man, so it just so happens someone cuts their finger while getting out the dough and viola! Vader knew it would happen.

The first couple of scenes with the Gingerdead Man made me laugh. I think it's funny to see Busey in gingerbread man form. It's just weird. But there isn't enough of him and the good stuff that makes a good cheesy straight to video flick.

The problem with this film is that it isn't fun enough. They tried to be a little too serious at times with the love story and the attempt at humor, especially the one guy acting like a superhero-ninja wannabe, can be particularly painful to watch.

I love Charles Band, his movies in the late 80's and early 90's have and still entertain me greatly, but this stuff coming out lately just ain't what it used to be.

Now I did not expect this movie to be any good, and that is exactly what I got, a bad movie with one hell of a villain. Actually, this movie is more of a comedy than an actual horror. This movie is essentially about a killer who's soul gets somehow trapped in a batch of "magical" gingerbread dough. This ultimately spawns a homicidal, foul-mouthed and sadistic gingerbread cookie. It's just as bad as it sounds. There was horrible acting and a curious plot. However, there is one good thing about this movie and that is it's great surrealistic tone and coring. Other than that, there isn't that many things good about it.

So lets kick off, shall we? The acting was atrocious and really bad. Robin Sydney and Ryan Locke both displayed the perfects example of really bad acing as well as Larry Cedar, whose performance seemed as though he was trying not to laugh during his monologues or seemed that he was personally trying not to act at all. There were points where the acting was so over the top, that it wasn't even funny. One of the only good actors, and he wasn't all that good, was Jonathan Chase who actually was creepy near the end, though they killed him off way to quickly. As for Gary Busey, well, he was in the movie for a whopping 10 minutes.

The plot itself was very bad because it never fully explains anything, nor does it explain where the batter came from and it was never really confirmed that it was Millard as the Gingerbread cookie. The story took place in a closed bakery with glass walls and the main characters where panicking because they were trapped and they needed to find a way out, rather than breaking the windows or using the keys to unlock the door, since they work there. Plus, they were getting worried because the police won't come when one of the character literally ran out the door to look for her dad, who died, and rather than running to the police, she ran back inside. They also never explained who was it that dropped off the evil cooking dough. Also, Cedar's character was stupid enough to run into the wall as the gingerbread man ran into him, thereby becoming a victim of his own stupidity.

There were no scares in this film; even some of the gore and killings were laughable. But wait, there were only 2 dead people. I can't take a talking homicidal gingerbread man seriously and when he lops off fingers, shreds somebody's face or shoots somebody, it's actually quite entertaining in a funny way. The only scary part was when Jonathan Chase's character becomes the essence of the Gingerdead Man, and that in itself was pretty hysterical. I'm sorry, I just can't take a talking gingerbread seriously, even for a horror movie or a supernatural sci-fi it was pushing the box too hard.

However, the was one big aspect of the movie that I did enjoy and that was it's surrealistic atmosphere that practically tributed comic book style scenes as well as 80s horror movies. There was excellent red and green lighting that coincided with the theme of gingerbread and a bakery shop. There were great references to the ingredients of gingerbread cookies that was demonstrated through the lighting and special effects such as sparkles (sprinkles), yellow and some blue lighting (the frosting) and gumdrops. The camera angles were very interesting because they incorporated some great angular shots as well as some great pans and zooms. The camera work itself stayed consistent to the comic book style of setting up scenes with a primary focus and individual or group shots, as well as some POV's. It was an altogether great accomplishment for the technical side of this movie.

Overall, this movie was about as scary as your average Disney fairy tale; it even had its "Disney Magic" to it as well. The acting was insanely stupefied as well as the plot, mainly because it didn't make sense. There were points were I could not look at the movie and just turn away to laugh, because it just wasn't scary. It was if somebody turned the Gingerbread Man from Shrek into an angry, belligerent and more annoying "thing." I would recommend this movie to those who enjoy a good hardy laugh or to those who enjoy a not-so-good quality horror movie. But for those who actually want to be scared, or who are looking for something with a kick, stay away, far away; I didn't so now I'm remorseful.

It sure makes me psyched for the upcoming Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust. Blah!!!!!