Tongan Ninja

You are pretty sure you are onto a winner when the person at the video store can't help telling you how fantastic a movie is.

Another good sign is when the missus, who generally loathes both chop socky films and goofy brainless humour, is choking for breath halfway through because she is laughing so hard.

As other reviewers have said, see this with a bunch of like-minded friends in a happy mood if you want a joyful evening. The fights! The dialogue! The car chase! The special effects! And make sure you watch the extras on the DVD. Not yer average "Making Of", trailers or TV spots...

I own the DVD. I had to have it. It is just unfortunate that this piece of cinematic brilliance (Use your own judgment) only screened once in New Zealand (and as an ARTS film ?!?) when it received accolades in countries such as Finland and Bulgaria! I recommend it to anyone with a NZ sense of humor and also anyone who liked Kung Pow. I recommend it to all my friends. Then I hear that they recommended it to all their friends as well. I am still waiting for someone to tell me they did not like this move.

Be sure to check out the special features too. Lord of the Ring's Peter Jackson displays a rare view of his acting talent. If he is for this movie - you should be too!

"The Tongan Ninja," is a low budget parody of 70's and 80's martial arts films from Asia. The clearest comparison is with "Kung Pow! Enter the Fist," a film released slightly earlier in the same year. Both of these films are send ups of the various clichés and gaffs typical to kung fu and ninja films. TN distinguishes itself not in quality of SFX or novelty; rather, TN stands out because it exudes a sense of joy and enjoyment that the film makers had. The title of this film is an immediate clue to the overall theme and technical quality of the film. What sets this entry into the parody genre apart is the way in which it was executed.

As with all parody, this film assumes that the audience will find mockery of details funny. TN pays very close attention to the slipshod practices of previous martial arts film makers. The result of this attention is a film that lambastes dubbing, poor writing, awkward/unrealistic romance, and absurd plot devices. The effect is very amusing. Unlike films that attempt to fill 90 minutes with as many gags and jokes as possible, TN remains consistent with the gaffs that it parodies. By limiting the extent of mockery, TN allows itself to develop an actual alternate world which is populated by naïve, stupid, and very funny people. A second, and more risky assumption, is that an "action" film can be successful if dialog driven. This does seem a contradiction in terms. How is it that a film, one which relies on fight scenes and mortal combat, can rely on so much exposition and dialog? The movie answers this by providing over the top silly dialog that touches on every oddity found in Martial Arts film dubs. Repetition, awkward translations of common "Asian" sayings, ridiculously misplaced commentary, and colorful threats all blend together to create a truly hilarious experience.

TN is not without faults. The reliance on dialog does lead the story to drag at points. In addition, the repetition is just that, repetitive. However, these problems are easily forgiven when one actually feels this movie. To clarify the last sentence, this film conveys the joy and fun of the film makers. Possibly an example will help. We have all seen the uninspired formulaic film which is clearly made in an attempt to tidy up budgets and possibly make a small profit. These films are by no means "bad," yet they lack the ethereal quality of "Fun." TN exudes a sense of enjoyment. It is quite palpable how this production was relished by all involved. As the audience looses themselves in this happy mood, the film becomes all the more enjoyable.

On a personal note, I will be highly recommending "The Tongan Ninja," to friends. This is perfect movie night fare. The lovingly crafted crappiness makes a wonderful pairing with beer and greasy food. 6 of 10 stars.

I accidentally stumbled across this film while pay-TV channel surfing & I was left in stitches of this high farce. This film really does fall into the category of "it's so bad it's good".

The great thing about Tongan Ninja is that it doesn't take itself seriously, it knows that it is cheap, silly & instead of trying hide from this cheapness, it revels in it.

Dodgy stunts, bad & unnecessary dubbing, bad guys giving a runny commentary of themselves being beaten up by Tongan Ninja, a love story and a fearsome looking All Blacks rugby star, Tongan Ninja has it all! Catch it if you get the chance & leave your brains at the door.

I know I use the word 'awesome' a lot, I just happen to watch a lot of crazy awesome movies. I can't help it. I don't actively seek them out, they just find a way of ending up on my TV or in my DVD player. Anyway, where was I? 'Awesome'. I use the word 'awesome' frequently, and I'll admit that I'm not even using it correctly in more than a few cases. However, 'awesome' is my way of indicating a given movie's coolness level, and such a little word is so much more descriptive than a silly rating system involving numbers and stars. For example, I believe I rated 'Wild Zero' as 10 stars, 'Versus' as 9 stars, and 'Battlefield Baseball' as 8 stars, but I do believe I said each one is awesome. Numbers are so inaccurate, and can't describe such movies. 'Awesome' is so much more descriptive.

Now you may be asking "But how does all this relate to 'Tongan Ninja'?". Well, you see Billy, any number I give to 'Tongan Ninja' would be grossly unfair, as it would not be taking both the awesomeness of 'Tongan Ninja' and its value as a movie into account (see my review of 'Killer Meteors'. However, if I were to simply say 'Tongan Ninja' is crazily awesome, that would say so much more: it would say that anyone easily amused will enjoy it, and then people of any class and refinement should avoid it entirely.

'Tongan Ninja' is crazily awesome.

Sione (Sam Manu) is the Tongan Ninja. As a child, he survived a plane crash caused by Marvin (Jemaine Clement), who has since grown up to be an evil ninja and Sione's rival. Marvin makes it a point to frequently remind Sione that Sione's father survived, only to be eaten by a fish. The adult Sione is sent to New Zealand by their ninja mentor, Master Magasaki, to protect a restaurant in true 'Way of the Dragon' style. But the evil ninja Marvin is not far behind...

In all its crazy awesomeness, 'Tongan Ninja' is a spoof on old kung-fu movies. Hell, the plot is taken from Bruce Lee's 'Way of the Dragon', just with some extra creative license. Its a funny movie, messing around with the stereotypical plot elements (dead fathers, "I am your father", the greatest fighter of whatever style), bad dubbing, and making most of the very limited budget they had instead of trying to hide from being cheap. The fight scenes serve to amuse as comedy, not as true fight scenes, and the action goes way over the top but manages to stay funny throughout the movie.

Cheap and wacky, 'Tongan Ninja' isn't obviously going to appeal to everyone. However, anyone who likes their movies cheap and wacky (not to mention crazily awesome) will enjoy this.