Barbarian

The best movie to ever feature Wooby. Only one word can sum what the awesomeness of this movie. I don't know what that word is, but rest assured I will find it. The only character you need to watch in this movie is Wooby, and all the others. Wooby is the greatest actor this side of Martin Kove. Wooby may also be the richest character to emerge from the world of film since...ever. I propose a sequel entitled Wooby: Barbarian II. It's a buddy cop movie starring either Gary Busey or Danny Glover and Wooby. They battle time-traveling terrorists in present-day New York City. There's the usual back and forth between the reluctant new partners and the requisite moment where Glover/Busey sees the true tortured soul of Wooby, as he writhes on a bed in a cheap motel in pain from a full belly moaning "ooh I hope you didn't want any cake 'cause I ate it all."

... the fact that this movie was a remake of the original "so bad it's good" Deathstalker movie and manages to be even worse... or the fact that about 1/3rd of the movie seems to be stock footage the original Deathstalker.

The sharp-eyed Corman enthusiast can probably name all the other movies which got plundered to make this monster (I spotted a scene of Margaret Markov from "The Arena" at one point) As for the original elements, all that this movie has is some badly dubbed Eastern-European actors and an Ewok-like creature whose existence might be justified if this were a children's picture. As every woman in the movie, except for the witch, appears topless at least once, this is unlikely.

The movie does best the original Deathstalker in at least one respect: it had an actual ending. Granted, it is an ending where the hero makes out with the princess in front of her father and the amazon warrior he bedded, who did everything she could to get him THAT far... but it is an ending.

Still, that and a tribute to Barbarian Queen star Lana Clarkson in the extras on the DVD menu prove that the makers of this film had their hearts in the right place... even if their heads are shoved someplace painful.

This film is ostensibly an attempted remake of the original Deathstalker movie. It even plunders numerous scenes from the aforementioned such as the warriors banquet for instance (presumably to a) save on money and b) pad out the running time) In reference to the first point, viewing the film it is immediately blatant that this was shot on a very tight budget indeed.

But of course cheap doesn't necessarily equate to crap does it? So the question obviously is, is this film any good?

Well yes and no in fact.....

On the plus side, as other reviewers have noted, Michael O'Hearn looks splendid in the role as the barbarian Kane (basically the same character as Deathstalker but actually far more amiable) There are also a number of rather well choreographed fight scenes utilising an interesting variety of weapons. A big plus for the guys now: The ladies in this film are absolutely stunning! (and virtually all of them at some point are seen topless!)

Sounds pretty good so far? Well.....let us consider some of the bad points...

For one, Martin Kove is dreadfully wasted in his role as the main villain. I'm presuming, judging by the amount of scenes he was actually in, that he only had a day or twos work on this movie.

Another very irritating (not to mention down right bloody infuriating) gripe I have with this film is the ridiculous character of 'Wooby'. What in the hell was the point of inserting this 'thing' into the film?! It looks like a cross between a shrunken wookie and a piece of rotting carpet! - and don't even get me started about the ridiculous, 'supposed to be cute' noises it emits!

Finally, the movie has quite obviously been entirely (and very poorly) re-dubbed throughout.

To conclude then, I guess that if you look upon this as a sort of modern tribute to the sword and sorcery movies of the 1980's that were all the rage in the wake of the success of Conan the Barbarian then you may find it to be worth a look (for nostalgia purposes if nothing else) Likewise, fans of TV series such as Hercules and Xena: Warrior Princess may find some not inconsiderable enjoyment here as this film does carry a similar (albeit more violent) feel to it. However, overall in comparison to many of it's brethren in the Sword and Sorcery genre this sadly comes out as only average at best.

This is a zero budget film that looks amateurish in many parts. The Barbarian is mediocre at best, but it does have a star with a ton of potential - Mike O'Hearn. Hopefully O'Hearn goes on to bigger and better things, he certainly deserves to. He has the face, the body, and even the voice. He could be a superstar with some serious acting coaching and the right film roles.

OK, OK, I can understand how some movies try to use womanly figures to promote their movies and give some cheap thrills to the male audience, but you have to begin questioning a film that has the main lead getting it on with the first two nameless bare breasted chicks he rescues.

But that's not what makes the movie bad, nay painful. The script was a disaster and the delivery of said script was a travesty in the art of character portrayal. That being said, the characters in need of portrayal were shallow, one dimensional stereotyped fantasy figures and overused to the extent of being nauseous, so the actors can't take all of the blame.

The worst part of the movie occurs with the introduction of the "cute little sidekick" in the form of the abomination named Wooby. It is some mix between an Ewok and a giant teddy bear but shares none of the admirable qualities of either. The costume looks like it was a halloween costume thrown out by a 10 year old who knew better. The fight scenes involving Wooby are equally ridiculous and are little more than the light tossing of stones that plink of the chests of the bad guys but somehow manage to do enough damage to kill or otherwise disable them.

The only redeemable quality of the movie is O'Hearn himself, but not because of his acting ability or skill with martial arts and clearly not for his theatrical fighting abilities. The sole benefit he gives to the movie is that he looks the part and looks it well. The plot is overly cliché and reminiscent of fourteen year olds playing Dungeons and Dragons and the film doesn't even take itself seriously enough NOT to steal footage from other movies. Yes, an entire scene was taken right out of "DeathStalker".

The movie was a disaster and rivaled only by the likes of films such as Time Bandits and Cave Dwellers.

And for goodness sakes, it has Wooby.