Shoreditch

In 1939, on the eve of the Second World War, jazz club owner Thomas Hinkman (Richie) conducts an ill-advised affair with club singer Butterfly (Richardson) - "Butterfly by name, scorpion by nature".

Sucked into a sordid world of gangsters, drugs and corrupt MPs, he plans his escape route from his wife and lover. Sixty years later, Hinkman's descendant Tom (Ross), his girlfriend Abigail (Tyler) and their buffoonish flatmate Chad (Bovell) uncover Hinkman's walled-up property - along with a dead body, setting the scene for a Chinatown-style mystery.

Tragic is the only word to describe this. If the 1930s dialogue is unbelievable (were expressions like "Chill out a little" really common currency in 1939?), the cast appear equally unconvinced throughout. "Oh Butterfly, I've fallen in love with you", says Richie's Hinkman, with all the conviction of a barman noting that the barrel needs changing.

Richardson's demeanour is less 'sultry' that simply drugged. Thank gawd then, for two saving graces: that Tyler is lovely to look at (for really, nothing and nobody else here is) and that it all ends so abruptly.

Little point going into detail as it is unlikely that Shoreditch will see the light of day. I guess it may surface on TV, by virtue of the fact that Shane "Eastenders" Richie is in it. A true embarrassment for all involved, there is little to redeem this mess. The plot, switching between present day and a 1939 jazz club, is pointless and ludicrous beyond belief. The script is truly terrible, especially the dialogue (did they say "f**k weed" in 1939 London?) and tonally it hasn't got a clue where it's at. Humour (or an attempt at it) in the 2001 scenes, contrasting with the supposed suspense thriller of 1939...

I could go on but I'm losing the will to live just thinking about this woeful movie. Spare a thought for Shane Richie - not only does he suck in the lead role but he also sank half a million quid into it, which is why he is now an indentured serf on Eastenders.

Mama mia... a cautionary tale to all movie investors. If you can't recognise a script like this as a total stinker then get out of the business!

Being a fan of Goodnight Sweetheart I was expecting a cool sexy thriller with good characters smooth music and funny script. Sadly this film offers none of these! It really is beyond bad! I agree with the reviewer on this site who says its the worst film he's ever seen. Shoreditch is definitely one to miss I think!

This pile of steaming cinematic waste is an insult to English cinema. We gave the world Long Good Friday, Get Carter, Kes, Italian Job, Trainspotting, Ratcatcher, Ealing and some of the most remarkable movies to ever grace the screen. This, on the other hand, seems like a few steps back into neanderthal territory. Utterly dire all round - an artistic, technical and (inevitably) commercial failure. AVOID!

Words fail me. If I could have given it a zero I would! The only other movie I've seen that comes close to it is Ben Elton's Maybe Baby. Some people enjoy watching movies because they're so awful, but I defy anyone to get any form of pleasure from this rubbish! Don't even rent the DVD (if it ever survives onto DVD!).