Rescue Force

Senile action film in which Pierre Agostino (star of the type of Ray Dennis Steckler films that Steckler didn't like to use his real name on) and Richard Harrison (star of many films with the word 'Ninja' in the title) team up with CIA hotties Kiki, Angel and Kelly in order to take on the PLO. If you're looking for beyond bad filmmaking, hot women using machine guns, ass fixated dialogue ("just get the cheeks of your fanny moving toward that airport before I order you up a hot fudge enema") LOTS of telephone conversations and men with tea towels on their heads running away from explosions...you've come to the right place.

Despite being active from the 1960s till the 1990s director Charles Nizet never quite made it to the Steckler/Doris Wishman/Al Adamson level of cult hero, with not even his real life death (Nizet was murdered in Brazil in 2003) managing to raise his notoriety beyond a B-Movie footnote.

I watched RESCUE FORCE tonight and all I can say is "WOW!" This movie is absolutely insane. The tag line on the box is "Terrorism and revenge in the Middle East" and, sure enough, it delivers all that and more. It is on the level with SAMURAI COP and all the other films that are so damn funny. The first half is a globe trotting adventure, bouncing from Syria (Nevada) to Lebannon (Nevada) to Iran (Nevada) to France (not Nevada) to Nevada (Nevada). A majority of the shots consist of people holding phones/walkie talkie right to their lips so you can't see them moving with the dialogue looped in later. I was so confused that I had to stop it and figure out who was who. Of course, all that changed when top billed Richard Harrison shows up (at the 45 minute mark) and the force begins to rescue (a kidnapped ambassador and his daughter for the curious). The second half is a non-stop orgy of explosions and chicks firing machine guns.

The female C.I.A. agents in the film are named Kiki, Angel and Kelly. Yes, Kiki...Angel...and Kelly. Nothing is funnier than having Bo Gritz (a former Marine who the character Rambo is based on in the books) say gruffly into a microphone, "Get me Kiki on the phone." Cut to Kiki bathing topless at Cannes. And fat white guys running around dressed as Arabs in the Nevada desert. One guy actually says, "I'm heading for the hills. Allah be with you!" Somehow, probably thanks to Gritz, the filmmakers got their hands on LOTS of explosives. There must be at least 7,000 explosions in the final battle. Anyway, a true classic! You have to love any film that features a ferocious 15 minute battle scene and, when it ends, cuts to the female agents pulling into a parking space in France with on screen titles stating: "Next day near Cannes. Kiki and Angel's favorite restaurant."