Python 2

Somewhere in Russia an American officer has been tasked to lead some Russian soldiers on a secret mission to capture an 80 foot snake that was created by American scientists and has gotten loose near the Ural Mountains. Not long afterward, the officer, "Colonel Jefferson" (Marcus Aurelius) accomplishes his assigned task and puts the snake aboard an American cargo plane heading for the United States. Unfortunately, some Chechen rebels mistake the plane for a Russian one and shoot it down. This action alerts a Russian army unity nearby who then attack the rebels and subsequently take the mysterious container back to a nearby base. Curious as to what is inside they open it. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that I was somewhat surprised by the results. For starters, I expected a movie replete with mindless action and special effects with no regard to anything resembling an in-depth plot or competent acting of any kind. Yet, while there was plenty of mindless action, rather poor special effects, and a predictable plot, I didn't think the acting was necessarily that bad at all. As a matter of fact, I kind of liked the performances of William Zabka (as the CIA agent, "Greg Larsen") and Simmone MacKinnon ("Nadia"). However, having said that, I don't believe this movie was great-or even good-by any means. It simply exceeded my expectations to a certain extent and for that reason I have rated it accordingly. Slightly below average.

But far from being a good film. The snakes (there's two this time)look better this time and they put a little more effort into it. Now the snake is being transported in a titanium container (except how could a sixty-foot snake be crammed into that tiny thing? Probably the best graphics of the movie is when they're hunting the big snake and they paralyze it with an electric gun and it falls down in slow motion while howling loudly. That part was actually a pretty decent shot for a movie like this. But the rest of it was kind of cheesy. Oh, and why would you stick a pistol that's set to fire in your back pocket? That's just suicide. That'd be of great help if you're running from those big snakes and get shot down your leg. Oh, and the character who had that gun in her back pocket, she wasn't even able to see a man standing five feet away from her, yet she's doing a rather good job of finding her way around. So much for being nearly blind. Overall, it's a lot better than the first one, but still not a movie I'd want to watch very often.

Where as the original "Python" was somewhat entertaning in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way, this made-for-cable-TV sequel fails on all levels.

"Python 2" is a horrible movie with nearly no relation to the original. A group of CIA thugs try to capture a large python and transport away for "Civilian Safety".

The lead actors (one of whom is played by Dana Ashbrook of "Twin Peaks") have zero chemistry together. The effects look very cheesy.

And the worst offense of all? William Zabka's returning character suffers the worst kind of character assasination. He is no longer portrayed as the good guy's (if bumbling) older brother small town cop, but is now the movie's main human bad guy. Shady right from the beginning, I was even uncertain this was the same character from the original...

I'm not saying that this "Python" franchise is the best... but at least if you are going to the trouble of bringing back a surviving character from the previous entry, don't alienate your fanbase and do a character swerve.

"Python 2" has no bite.

Someone with Science Fiction clout, but no talent, in TV programming has decided that giant snakes, among the slowest creatures on earth, make frightening movie monsters. Well they don't. I dearly love monster movies, but these snake pictures are simply useless. This one follows the really awful, 'en vogue formula to the hilt, and straight down the slithery slope of utter ennui. In my estimation these "lighter than air, faster than greased pigs" reptiles are utterly without any redeeming "monster" qualities.

The snakes are almost incidental to the film. They are so badly portrayed as to have no personality, and absolutely no sense of dread about them. They are mechanical vehicles of the plot, which is terminally boring from the first scene. The only character I even cared about was the beautiful Russian redhead, and that's just because she is so gorgeous to watch. It seems that the director just didn't know how to portray people with any sense of timing or reality. The characters, and the acting, quickly fell apart under vague and vapid direction. The plot was never in attendance.

The film seemed to drag on forever as inept warriors pointed their fancy guns into dark corners, and blasted away at cartoon snakes to no discernable avail. The snakes moved much faster than the action. I felt that the director was simply trying to figure out how to prolong this mess long enough to eke out the requisite 90 minutes, sans commercials. It didn't work. Avoid this mess unless you are addicted to lovely redheads.

The original PYTHON is kind of all over the place in terms of its tone, the consistency of its special effects, acting, directing, production design, you name it. PYTHON II, however, is a much more consistent film throughout, and tells a story that is a structurally more simple and better suited for this type of film.

PYTHON is set in small town USA, but the sequel takes place somewhere in Russia with a backdrop of political tension with Chechnya. The bright colors of the first film give way to a more subdued pallet here, and the tone is more straight and narrow than some of the all out sillyness that has preceded it. PYTHON II is a more focused film though.

The focus here is more on the relationship between Dana Ashbrook and Billy Zabka's characters. Zabka, by the way, plays a much more intriguing version of Greg Larson in PYTHON II than he does in PYTHON. Zabka is allowed to spread his wings a bit more in this film. He's a more significant character and occupies a position of agency, whereas in the first film he mostly just reacts to things in the vein of a detective story. Ashbrook's Dwight Stoddart is a former MLB player with a rough past following him, and the lack of trust between him and Larson keeps a good deal of tension fueling the plot even when the snake is not present (hint: it is not present very often in this movie).

The shortcomings are obvious. To my knowledge they shot this one in about two weeks. The special effects, even for 2002, are lacking. Whereas the structure of the film's plot is not very ambitious, the scope of some of the special effects is. Squads of elite military soldiers attacking giant snakes in massive caves, stealth bombers conducting a bombing raid on a military base. These parts of the movie do not look that great because they're biting off more than they can chew. I like that the plot doesn't reach for much: the characters are after some secret cargo which they plan to transport. Larson hires Stoddart to transport it. Great. But some of the other stuff needs to fall into place with the scope of the film's budget, and trying to stretch out what the budget was capable of providing shows in ways that are not ideal. It's probably worth saying that the snake does not look better than it did in the first film.

PYTHON II is not a good movie per se, but if it's a bad movie it's far from being bad in an unbearable or offensive way. It's not perfect. It's kind of awkward at times, and not as 'fun' as PYTHON, but I recommend it to b-movie fans, especially if you enjoyed the first film, as PYTHON II puts in some admirable effort to make a connection with its predecessor.