I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!

Yes, the people that go into 'the jungle' aren't always technically celebs, but that doesn't mean to say they aren't by the time they come out.

Come November ITV pretty much turn their evening entertainments slots over to 'I'm a Celeb' and are rarely disappointed. It's a long running reality show that hasn't gone stale (take note X Factor) and that's largely because although the format is always the same roughly, the personalities of the celebs going in shake things up each time.

It is of course always held together by the wonderful Ant and Dec, who rightly win awards for it every year.

It's not exactly high brow entertainment, but entertaining it always is

The godfather of celebrity reality shows returns, and it still gets the best billing (prime time ITV) because it's the funniest, and most fun. There's another 'so what' set of celebs, but - like Strictly - the show has shown it can handle that. The secret to its success is everybody's favourite Hiberno-Geordies, Ant and Dec.

You might have expected the show to feel refreshed, then, after Ant (or Dec)'s hiatus last year; but personally I think something has gone that won't return. Maybe his mugging is now genuinely more desperate and cynical; maybe the unwanted insight into his private life just makes it seem that way. But where Dec (or Ant) still manages to convince with the cheeky schoolboy act they've been doing since PJ and Duncan, on the other side of the platform his partner (whichever one it is) is starting to seem just a little bit creepy.

That matters because good nature is the show's keynote; yes it makes people look daft but it never humiliates them, and it's usually the good natured that win it. Admittedly, the days of Jordan and Our Kerry, who had long if troubled careers off the back of it, seem to be over. The TV world has realised that there isn't much it can do with these people after they have thus refreshed their fame; few have any talent except being themselves; at best, they go on to co-host one of I'm A Celeb's own spin-off shows. And now Charlotte thingy has been dropped from Saturday Night Takeaway: Ant and Dec, how could you?

Sticking a bunch of C list celebrities out in the jungle seems to be a good idea on paper but is ruined by the idea of not keeping them there for ever . But what really annoyed me about the show is the amount of coverage it got in newspapers and the breakfast television shows . Everytime you opened a British tabloid newspaper you`d find several pages dedicated to the storm in a tea spoon that was the previous night`s edition . Same when you watched GMTV in the morning , the presenters would be interviewing the previous night`s loser every 15 minutes . Getting too much of a good thing is one thing , getting too much of a fairly bad thing is quite another

Of the votes cast Tony Blackburn was probably the deserved winner because he didn`t whine and moan ( Unlike the rest of contestants ) and never talked behind everyone else`s back ( Christine Hamilton did this all the time - Thank gawd the tories are out of power ) , but from a purely hetrosexist point of view I thought Nell McAndrew deserved to win since she spent much of her time there dressed in a bikini

I`ve just seen the second series . The novelty wears off very quickly

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All Costs

Ant McPartlin and Declan Donnelly (or Ant and Dec,as they're more,er,'affectionately' known) are about 26/27 years of age between them.Yet already they've obtained their lifetime acheivement awards at the TV Awards.This is almost certainly down to consistency.They're second only to Davina McCall in terms of the amount of TV they are called upon to present.Failed former soap stars and pop singers,it's as if they're addicted to the profession.In fact,it's almost as if their popularity has soared so greatly,TV writers just randomly think up any old show to get them on TV more.No matter how desperate and tacky the show might look.I'm a Celebrity,Get Me Out of Here! is so manufactured and contrieved it hurts.It's so obvious that it's been concocted as something to sort out the desperately dire state of Saturday night TV,and it's so coy in it's attempts to distract us from thinking otherwise.Make no mistake about it,if you begin to enjoy this (as I sadly did),it's nothing less than a guilty viewing pleasure.So then,we're talking TV that appeals our baser instincts,that appeals to the lowest common denominator.......,ah,let's just watch it.

The tone and feel of the show feels very obnoxious and contemptuous towards the celebrities involved.It sort of requires the viewer to derive some sadistic pleasure out of putting them through such gruelling ordeals (or 'tasks',as they put it) as having maggots poured all over their heads and having to hold live alligators.Of course,this should be another very off-putting aspect to any conscientious viewer.This notion however,is hindered by the fact that a large majority of the celebrities featured aren't particularly self indulgent or egotistical anyway,so seeing them get humiliated isn't as satisfying as the producers probably wanted it to be.Most of them are just faded has-beens in their particular line of show-biz who've enjoyed their 15 minutes of fame and perhaps want to oggle the chance for a little extra time in the limelight (with the noteable exception of stand up comic Rhona Cameron,who was pretty much an unknown before the show was launched but who's career has really taken off since).Glamour model Nell McAndrew,for instance,sets in mind preconceived notions of being a loud,brash slapper type but is in fact a very humble and quiet member of the team who offers a shoulder to cry on for an emotional Christine Hamilton in one touching scene.Magician Uri Geller also never openly offends anyone,but he's kind of amusing because in the scenes where he chats with Nell,he proves what a sad perv he really is by offering to massage her back,claiming his psychic power will calm her,when in fact it's glaringly obvious he just wants to cop as much of a feel as he possibly can.Some could argue Darren Day and Tara Palmer Tomkinson are silly,self obsessed people but no one can deny they provide the show's most entertaining moments,with their bickering and ranting.It would have been more fun to see people like Victoria Beckham,Elton John and Liam Gallagher on there instead,although the chances of that ever happening are remote.In the end,it's,well,just not surprising that reserved,gentlemanly Tony Blackburn wins.

So,it's as see-through as tracing paper,so it's tacky,so it's derivative.Yes,it's all true.I guess it's like smoking.Don't start or you'll get addicted.I sadly did...........and look at me!**

It's that time of year. Big Brother is long over so all other copy-cat reality- turn your brain to mush- programs come crawling out of the wood work to secure ITV1's finances for the next 200 years. This one is probably the most watchable out of this seasons offerings (Celebraty Love Island was a new low point in the history of television) but it's still the same old-same old. Ten or so 'celebraties' (I use the term VERY loosely) are dumped in the 'Austrailian Jungle' (most likely a set behind Woolies in South London) and made to 'fend for themselves' when they are put in 'dangerous situations' (with a team of First Aiders stood by, of course). I have watched one or two of the episodes this year and they failed to hold my interest. My advise, don't watch it. You'll probably get addicted to it and it'll rule your life for 4 or 5 weeks until it finishes and you'll forget about it.

Watch "Life In The Undergrowth" instead.