बदले की जंग

Men have a place in their brains called the macho cortex (MC) buried in the limbic system which, when sufficiently stimulated, turns us into drooling morons with only two desires; survival and sex, not necessarily in that order. Most action flicks are designed to stimulate the MC by flooding our senses with big, ugly dudes who are bad (we don't care why) and we want to see killed or luscious babes who are good (all babes are good, even bad ones) and we want to...well, you know. This parses as Big, ugly = bad, Babe = good. All we need is some kind of Rambo-like hero with whom we can identify and, presto, we're there, vicariously getting off as we watch the hero (us) waste the bad guys while the babes swoon.

The problems with the formula in Seagal's formula action outing "Out for a Kill" are manifold. First, the hero, Seagal, doesn't fit the strong, silent type paradigm because he looks like a porky zombie on ludes. Second, the hero is married and then quickly widowed. So, now we're stuck with a porky zombie on ludes who is in mourning. Yuck! Thirdly, as Seagal trucks through a plot flatter than a saltine, there are no babes watching or waiting to drop their skivvies at the end. So, where's the prize? No respectable action hero would go to so much trouble with no hotties watching and waiting. Hottie cop Goh is waiting at the end but she's a platonic thing because she can't jump the hero since he's in mourning. Duh! Therefore, all the killing is a needless, senseless waste of time, the MC never gets engaged, and we, the men, are left with no reason to drool so boredom sets in and that's a bad thing. (C-)

Can he sink any lower? Probably yes, because at the rate he is going turning back is going to be very hard. It was after Exit Wounds that Seagal started his nose dive which has yet to end. Half Past Dead was a good step up from Ticker, but it still was only OK. Now we arrive at... ...this horrible film. It contains a bland to the max story of vengeance on the people who killed Seagal's wife. Some of the scenes are also so overly and ridiculously dramatic that you'll cringe. And Seagal, in this film, plays Seagal. That's right, he plays himself. He just shows up on screen pretending to be a professor and the audience expects him to start fighting with people soon and that's what happens.

No character development to speak of just mundane fights one after another. The bad guys are really stupid and just sit around a table somewhere. One by one they disappear and we are led to believe that they among the films body count. Does that sound dumb and confusing? Well that's because it is. 2/10

Rated R: violence and profanity

Where, oh, where do you begin talking about the plethora of problems with a film like this? This film is technically and artistically inept from beginning to end. It plays as if it were literally assembled out of scenes from other films and slapped together as this mess. Most of Seagal's dialogue was added in post-production because he's always speaking when he's out of frame -- an obvious sign that this thing - story and all - was basically created in the cutting room. The director uses odd transitions and focus pulls for no reason. Boring slow motion scenes are an obvious attempt to push the movie out to a full 90 minutes. Transitions are abrupt and make no sense -- all of a sudden Seagal is in the middle of a car chase that goes nowhere. Characters appear from nowhere, and lesser characters suddenly have voice-over inner monologues that make no sense. Every rule of common sense filmmaking and storytelling are completely broken. The plot makes no sense. Everytime we see the bad guys they are in the same room, at the same table, wearing the same clothes -- again, obviously shot in one day to piece this tub O' crap together in post production. The editing is choppy, the action clumsy, and the climax is a total joke. To be avoided at all costs. Surely one of the worst films made in recent memory. Seriously -- what were they thinking? Garbage.

This is a totally awful and boring movie.

I was impressed that a totally bad directing and mediocre script reached to be a Seagal film! Seagal did this movie with no pleasure, you can notice that, he's plain and bored trough all the movie; he usually don't move while fighting, but in this movie he almost fall asleep while taking down the bud guys. He also looks fat and like he just woke up. I like Seagal movies, but this is really awful. Some scenes have no meaning or sense, and some fights are absurd (Like the Kung Fu Monkey style guy that walks trough walls, i laughed at that!). The Chinese mafia (from all the world) meets always in the same place, and this scenes are put almost every 10 minutes in the film, all the time in the film they show the day and the place in red letters (without too much sense), like the comments of the Chinese mafia leaders in the beginning! This movie try to copy a bond film, taking Seagal trough the world as a 008 agent but without the toys and financial support of the British.

About the Movie: Seagal plays here the role of Archaeologist professor Robert Burns, excellent in the matter and who received a prize for his discoveries at Yale University. The story begins when an international Chinese drug mafia cartel tries to use the shipments of Archaeological discoveries from the Chineses border, to export drugs from China (these drugs look more like brown sugar), and Burn find out this and try to escape, in the pursuit, a student of him dies and he is believed guilty of homicide and drug traffic and is send to prison. Some DEA cops, due to their lack of exit chasing these drug lords, use professor Burns (believed guilty) as bait to get to this mafia. In this the Chinese try to kill the Proffesor in order to protect their operations; surprise that the professor is an martial arts expert by some reasons of his past, and the task became harder than they expected. The mafia consist of: (1) Sai Lo (heroin market in Paris), (2) Thang "The Bird" Zhili (New York drug market in Chinatown), (3) Yin Quinchi (Sofia Bulgaria Eastern Europe drug cartel) (4) Li Bo (drug export in Shanghai China) (5) Fang "The Barber" Lee (Paris drug cartel) (6) Mr. Chang (Drug money in London) and (7) Wong Dai, the boss and more powerful drug lord of all. The story takes place in different parts of the world (like a James Bond movie), specially in Chinatowns of all world.

About the Cast: Seagal, terrible!, the Chinese bad guys are the worst actors of all time!, Michelle Goh, beautiful but bad actress, and her DEA partner is even worse than the Chinese; i haven't seen such bad acting in months! (and i watch movies almost every day)

I haven't seen The Foreigner but if it's the same director Michael Oblowitz, then avoid it and this film like the plague. Talk about directing/editing basics, this man has no idea of either when it comes to action films. I've liked most of Seagal's films but this is lower than the pits.

Oblowitz has no idea how to edit or direct an action film, he should go back to film school and start again. In fact Oblowitz don't bother.

A disaster for Seagal, the biggest bore of a film I've seen for a long time, to give it 1 out of 10 is being too kind.

Real Shyte.