- Professor T. Bird: Did the nasty Queen not play fair? Ah shame... now get back in there and bust some pork!
- Professor T. Bird: [picked at random; as you start Level 7] Looks like the Dark Queen's got a warm reception planned for the Battletoads!
- Professor T. Bird: [picked at random; as you start Level 2] Watch out, 'toads! There's bound to be a whole toad-load of trouble down in that crater!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; after you clear Level 1] Arrrrgh! You've made porkmeat out of my Psyko-Pigs!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; after you clear Level 6] So you think you're hot, huh, 'toads? Well, it looks like it's going to get hotter down there - much hotter!
- Professor T. Bird: [picked at random; as you start Level 12] Things are lookin' up from here on, 'toads! - and I do mean up!
- Professor T. Bird: [picked at random; as you start the game] Get ready, toads! Down to the surface on the turbo-cables!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; after you clear Level 11] Welcome to the Revolution, Battlejerks! This is where you lose your heads!
- Professor T. Bird: [starting the story of the game] Hey 'toads! The Dark Queen's kidnapped Pinple and Angelica and she's holding them in the Gargantua. Go get 'em 'toads!
- Rash: Yeah! let's get 'em back! I gotta craving for action! take us to the rumble, coach!
- Dark Queen: No so fast Battlejerks! before you even reach me you'll have to beat Robo-Manus and Big-Blag. Still fancy your chances? Come to me now, if you dare! Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; as you start Level 2] ARRRRGH! You've made porkmeat out of my Psyko-Pigs!
- Professor T. Bird: It's a vertical drop for about a mile - and there are things movin' down there, so you better take care, 'toads...
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; as you start Level 3] So, you managed to avoid my traps, eh! well, it takes a booby to beat a booby, I always say!
- Professor T. Bird: You gotta be like green lightin' if you're gonna make it through here, 'toads!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; as you start Level 4] You play leapfrog well with those speed bikes, my green friends, but unfortunately, you can't take them with you!
- Professor T. Bird: I'm getting sub-zero readings nearby! so hang loose, 'toads - anything could happen in there!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; as you start Level 5] You know what they say, don't you - out of the frying pan and into the surf!
- Professor T. Bird: You're doin' great, 'toads! The Dark Queen will be foamin' at the mouth when you ride through this little number!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; as you start Level 7] You're good, I'll give you that - good enough to burn!
- Professor T. Bird: Things are really heatin' up down there, 'toads!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; as you start Level 6] Take it from me, swampbreath, you won't be going any further!
- Professor T. Bird: What out, 'toads! Sensors indicate somethin' long and slippery slitherin' toward you!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; as you start Level 8] I can't believe you've gotten this far! Prepare yourselves for a sticky green end, toadies!
- Professor T. Bird: When the goin' gets tough, the 'toads get goin'! up and at 'em, guys!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; as you start Level 9] Well, well, well - fancy seeing you here! what an unpleasant surprise!
- Professor T. Bird: It's a maze in there 'toads! So, keep a cool head and you'll be okay!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; as you start Level 10] You shall pay for your impertinence, slimeheads - with your lives!
- Professor T. Bird: Put on your running shoes, 'toads, and race the rat to the bomb at the buttom!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; as you start Level 11] Oh, no! The bombs are all defused and the wartheads are still alive!
- Professor T. Bird: Hold on tight an' get ready for a fight - the Battletoads are outasight!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; as you start Level 12] Come to the tower, boys, and let's see what you've got!
- Professor T. Bird: Well, it's one small step for a 'toad, one giant leap for toadkind! go to it, guys!
- Dark Queen: [after the last fight] No this can't be true! my entire defense system, beaten my a couple of mucus-lobbing slime-jackets! Better disappear, real quick, before something really nasty happens! Adios, fountain freaks!
- Professor T. Bird: Okay, let's break out the sodas and junk-food - it's party time!