Snake Island

First off, I'm not sure what the problem here most people seem to be having with this movie. I mean look, the film is called SNAKE ISLAND. It isn't called FAREWELL TO ARMS or THE GRAPES OF WRATH, it's a B grade direct to DVD/video movie about a boatload of people who get stranded on an island infested by a zillion snakes. WHAT are you people expecting??

SNAKE ISLAND was directed, written, produced, and stars my new favorite B movie icon, Wayne Crawford, a person about whom there is very little information. Mr. Crawford appears to be an opportunistic part-time genre filmmaker who surfaces every few years to helm a new little "vanity project" with himself in the starring role. He got his start in a demented little horror shocker in 1972 called AUNT MARTHA DOES DREADFUL THINGS, is perhaps best known for his work as the title character in the 80s home video detective thriller JAKE SPEED (and manages to play characters named Jake in many of his projects), though my favorite Wayne Crawford film is the 1978 JAWS ripoff and X-FILES anticipating rampaging barracuda/chemical experiment sleeper BARRACUDA (THE LUCIFER PROJECT) which SNAKE ISLAND actually reminds me a lot of.

Others have done ample justice to the plot, what little there is of it: Humans trapped on an island with a zillion snakes attacking from every angle once the drunken topless lezbo techno dance party is over and everyone has gone back to their cabins to throw up. William Katt has fun as the expatriate American writer looking for something to write about, and Crawford casts himself as the somewhat grizzled tour guide who manages to find time to go skinny dipping with his female lead. Yes, making B movies can be fun, just remember to keep your day job, and Crawford is now apparently employed as a college professor, hopefully teaching film. People can learn a lot from him I am sure, as is evidenced by how much brain-dead fun there is to be had with this movie provided that one steadfastly refuses to take it seriously. ANY of it.

As another reviewer pointed out, the difference between SNAKE ISLAND and the majority of the recent PG-13 oriented giant snakes on the loose movies is that this one was accomplished without relying too heavily on computer graphics effects -- they apparently actually used many actual snakes when making this movie, which makes me wonder how it slipped under PETA's usual animal watch radar. One reason might be that it's so easily dismissed as being just a load of crap, filmed in South Africa on the cheap, with no recognizable star names (William Katt??) and no real point to it's existence other than helping jaded viewers occupy 90 minutes of their lives in an entertaining manner.

And it IS an entertaining little movie, especially if you can suppress both your brain and taste centers for an hour or so while the story sets itself up. One other aspect that proves useful is that the film actually has a subtle little sleaze factor going on, with some agreeable nudity, the infamous lezbo techno dance, a laugh or two about safari theme park attractions and finally the inevitable Night of the Snakes sequence, which is impressively staged. It won't make anyone forget stuff like SSSSSS or STANLEY but heck, for a few thousand dollars Mr. Crawford was able to gather an attractive cast, pick out a suitably isolated setting, and cut loose. Looks to me like the film was made in about two weeks with minimal fuss, and sent straight to the rental shops where stuff like this probably has it's most beneficial application.

Genuine B movies are on the wane as of late, with the independent market being gobbled up by message movie attempts and the major distributors all looking for the next big event film package that will result in a franchise. That left people like Wayne Crawford free to fill the vacuum as far as mindless, disposable entertainment goes. Unlike JAKE SPEED or BARRACUDA I doubt that SNAKE ISLAND will gather much of a cult following and it's not the sort of film that will command repeat performances, but for a $1.50 three-day DVD rental you can do a heck of a lot worse. Which is what a good B movie should amount to.

6/10; Sets it's sights low and achieves what it set out to do, and you sort of have to admire it for being true to it's nature.

A tour-boat operator (Crawford) inadvertently leads his horny human cargo into the den of an island inhabited by ferocious snakes. Party member and author (Katt) discovers that not only is there an over-abundance of snakes on the island (a fact that should have obviated from the name of the resort, which shares the film's somewhat conspicuous title), but a hex on any human who has trespassed. So, after some sight-seeing (an elephant threesome being the highlight), a disco-party complete with drunken three-way striptease and some sexual content (butt-in-the-moonbeam-walk), our peripheral characters become prey, and Crawford, Katt and Connor are left to contend with the aggressive asps.

Director, producer, co-writer and co-star Crawford dons many hats for this picture, which looks like it's shot on a hand-held home video camera. Despite some apparent TV-movie production values, the dialogue is mostly realistic, the core cast is professional and the special effects aren't bad. Post-production editing effects create the "illusion" of the plethora of snakes converging on characters, and is done effectively. There's an occasional shock, and some mild gore (is that a tongue protruding from that cadaver's gaping orifice? – no, wait, it's just a baby snake waking up), and perhaps more critically when faced with tired ideas and cheap-looking set design – nudity.

When everything else is dear, there's still inexperienced actresses willing to bare all for the sake of art, and their career. Most of the female cast here reveal themselves to some degree, and actor, director, producer, writer Crawford, naturally, scores some residual benefits of such titillation. One could only postulate that Katt was lured into this production with the promise of the African safari holiday, and although the picture was shot on location, the savanna isn't always realistic looking, but perhaps that's the Super-8 camera lens cheating the eye of natural wonders. Aside from the occasional lame joke (the snake hallucination scene is admittedly quirky and unexpected, but ultimately, it's a dud gag) and plot hole, "Snake Island" delivers on its promise of lots (and lots) of snakes, cheap thrills and a conventional narrative to satisfy the average punter. Noteworthy, is the surprisingly clean screenplay with not an f-bomb in ear-shot (nevermind, it's the T&A that earn the R-rating, anyway).

2002 was not a great movie year, being a big ol'nerd I like analytics and 2002 is right down there on the yearly rankings.

This was a pick and mix movie and I was happy to immediatly see William Katt on the credits, this is an underrated actor who is among my favorites.

It tells the story of a group of tourists who get stuck on "Snake Island". And in a really unpredictable turn of events they gradually get picked off by *Drumroll* snakes!

It's main flaw is the lack of consistency, is it a horror or a comedy? It flits from serious to silly within the space of a single scene. In fact some scenes are so ridiculous it pretty much flatlines the entire film.

The wildlife shots are great, Katt is on form and the film certainly has its moments but I'm left feeling they perhaps should have just gone all out and made this a comedy film.

Forgettable nonsense.

The Good:

Some fantastic wildlife footage

William Katt

The Bad:

Gets a bit silly in places

Cliched to hell

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

If you have a phobia of snakes it makes perfect sense to go to a place called Snake Island

It's not a party until a girl randomly takes her clothes off

If you need to hunt and kill innocent creatures to get a happy, start with yourself

I really don't think it's necessary that I write a review on a movie with a title as derisory as "Snake Island", but even in the abstract confines of its own genre, this hit a new low, so my anger must be known. The only reason why I even bothered to watch this unbelievably bad movie is because I knew it was going to be bad, it was really late at night, I could not sleep, and in the past, really bad movies would drain the energy out of me and make me long for slumber. It became very quickly very early on that this movie was going to be awful, but it condescended below even those expectations.

The movie was directed and written by Wayne Crawford, who also stars in the movie as a tourist guide on the African river, who ends up having to strand his team on a remote island called Snake Island until another boat comes down to pick them up. They hang out, get drunk, and then become subject to the onslaught of poisonous snakes who are on a mission to purge their island of human beings.

If your jaw dropped at the last sentence of my second paragraph, don't bother to reread it, you got it right the first time. Frankly, I prefer my creature features when the creature(s) just attack the nonsensically dumb humans out of hunger, not because they have some kind of a mission. These aren't mutant snakes. They're not giants like what you see in "Anaconda." They're just ordinary, everyday African snakes like mambas and vipers…only they have the brains to form armies, take up causes, work together to trap people, understand our language, and even dance! Did your draw drop again? Well, it's going to drop further. Amount midway through this awful B-movie, about the part where I'd already given up, the human characters start drinking around a campfire and then all of a sudden, they break down into some kind of an orgy. And while they dance nude and such, the snakes hunting them all of a sudden stop and start jamming along to it. The combination of this scene and the scene where we discover that snakes, some the most roguish creatures on the planet, have formed an alliance against human beings for some oddball reason, proved just too much for my poor brain. And just when I though the filmmakers couldn't take it to an even lower level, the snakes started to sing.

The people in the movie? Well, let's just say that never before have I rooted for the creatures to kill everybody off so quickly. I just could not stand it any longer.

I really don't think I need to keep going on; you get the picture. If there is anything that makes "Snake Island" any different from its other rivals, it's that it does dare to try to be even dumber and that's not a complimentary achievement. Why—just why—I continue to subject myself to these really bad movies, I guess I'll never really know. But "Snake Island" hits a brand new low. It's a cheap, trashy excuse for a motion picture that makes "Anaconda," a brainless snake movie, look as brilliant and sophisticated and thrilling as Steven Spielberg's "Jaws." You have been warned.

A group of tourists, resort workers & guides in South Africa struggle to survive after getting stranded on an island with a profusion of deadly snakes. William Katt (Malcolm), Wayne Crawford (Jake) and Kate Connor (Heather) emerge as the main protagonists. Crawford also directed and co-wrote the script.

"Snake Island" (2002) is a low-budget South African production with a few American actors; it probably cost half of what the typical SyFy flick costs. But it gives you what you pay for (although I hope you watched it for free): a plethora of snakes, authentic African locations, a mildly entertaining survival situation with an okay cast, a subdued sense of humor and some decent horror. It helps that most of the snakes appear to be real rather than CGI.

But it's overall pedestrian, unfortunately. I guess it doesn't help that I don't find snakes particularly frightening. Director/writer Crawford tried to perk things up with a tiki party sequence wherein the group lets their hair down and some of the females start dancing topless. But the women, while okay, aren't anything overly alluring, although Kate Connor eventually won me over.

The film runs 1 hour, 30 minutes and was shot in South Africa.

GRADE: C/C-