The Whole Ten Yards

THE WHOLE TEN YARDS (2004) Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Kevin Pollock, et al

This is one more example that 'More is NOT Better'! Nine Yards was entertaining, the jokes worked. Ten Yards is so bad that we walked away before the ending.

Although the same cast returns for this second bout, this one is boring, with loud yelling throughout, no chemistry, a waste of talented actors, and, a waste of our money.

Reading other comments, apparently some folks liked it. We give it a portion of one star. Our recommendation: Save your money, or wait until it's free and you have absolutely nothing better to do.

I found The Whole Nine Yards to be a surprisingly fun film, which worked thanks to its engaging plot and interesting characters. One thing I didn't think the film needed was a sequel; but I decided to sit down and watch it anyway, and to my surprise; it's a lot better than I thought it would have been. I can certainly understand why it hasn't received glowing praise; as many of the jokes are recycled and the whole film does feel like an excuse to give the likes of Mathew Perry something to do. That being said, original script writer Mitchell Kapner has managed to put together a film that makes good use of its absurd plot and characters, and somehow manages to be enjoyable despite feeling completely superfluous. The plot this time starts when Oz's wife Cynthia is kidnapped by a Hungarian mob boss. Oz decides to contact Jimmy the Tulip; Cynthia's ex-husband and hit man to help get his wife back from the mob. Along with Jimmy's wife and aspiring assassin, Jill, the trio attempt to thwart the mob boss, and help Oz get Cynthia back.

Just like the first film, this one relies on the talents of its lead stars to pull it through. Matthew Perry's wisecracks are mostly amusing, and he is in his element the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. Amanda Peet is still naive, and sexy, as the aspiring assassin; while Bruce Willis sleepwalks in a role that is a spoof of what he's used to doing. Kevin Pollack chews the scenery with his silly accent, but provides some laughs; and just like the first film, Natasha Henstridge is the spare wheel. The plot isn't very well done, as it mostly features the lead stars hanging around and waiting for someone to shoot at them; so it can become a bit boring. However, the film is never far away from a one-liner or comedic set piece to keep it moving and there are a number of big laughs. Sequels like this often don't work; Ocean's Twelve being the case in point, but I'm pleased to say that The Whole Ten Yards isn't a complete waste of time as it delivers what you would expect of it. It's not particularly deep or clever, but the film offers a fun time and the ending is rather well done.

An unnecessary sequel if there ever was one finds bumbling dentist Oz (Perry) now happily married to Cynthia (Henstridge), until she's kidnapped by vengeful mobster Lazlo Gogolák (Pollak) and his Hungarian crew who know that former associate Jimmy Tudeski (Willis) is still alive. Not capable of getting her back by himself, Oz enlists the aid of Jimmy and wife Jill (Peet); she's just itching to get back into the game, but unfortunately Jimmy has put the old life behind him in favor of staying at home and obsessing over the cleanliness of his surroundings. The same cast that brought such glee and energy to The Whole Nine Yards flounders in this embarrassingly unfunny follow-up where the film's ridiculous story throws out one silly plot twist after another and an abundance of desperate gags. A feeling of utter hopelessness permeates each scene, and at times the actors appear as if they're begging for help. *

I feel like quoting Matthew Perry from this very movie: "I've never been more confused in my entire life!"

Is there really a story in here? Not a story, I mean a STORY, you know, the kind that makes people go "wow, I never saw that one coming," or "haha, how original!" How they decided to make a sequel to a movie that never did that well in the first place I will never know, at least not with these stars! The original made only like 60 million in the US, and felt more like a made-for-TV-comedy than anything else. Is this anywhere near a Bruce Willis-vehicle? It sure as heck feels and plays more like a Chevy Chase-comedy, and I don't mean early Chase (which I love) but more of what he did in his fifties, "Cops and Robbersons" and stuff like that. THIS IS NOT BIG BOX OFFICE MATERIAL FOR THE YEAR 2004! Like "Best Defense" with Dudley Moore and Eddie Murphy was not box office material in 1984!

Is it totally bereft of entertainment value? Of course not, it has it's funny moments, but it is just so... ordinary, so darn average, like "Full House" on a Monday night line-up of "Seinfeld" and "Frasier", like a meat ball when you should be having steak, oh I don't know how else to explain it. Matthew Perry is a wonderful comic actor, in my opinion he's closing in on the great ones, like Danny Kaye and Jerry Lewis, but he can run into doors and fall flat on his back only so many times before it looses it's effect. He had one of the greatest running-into-doors-scenes in the history of actors-running-into-things in "The Whole Nine Yards" (when he hits that glass door, hilarious!), but here it is done so many times it just ends up as a cheap reminder of what thin material they were working with.

There is however two memorable moments of "The Whole TEN Yards": one hysterically funny scene between Willis and Perry getting dead drunk in a bar (followed by the waking-up-scene next morning), and Frank Collison as 'Strabo', one of the villains who ironically I found both funnier and more likable than the heroes! Kevin Pollak, who can be one of the funniest men in the business when given the right material tries to do a Peter Sellers-thing here, under heavy make-up as an old mob boss who has trouble with the English language and slaps whoever tries to point this out. This time around Pollak tries so hard it basically falls flat, like Perry when he crashes into his surroundings (but Pollak will always have a special place in my heart for his brilliant Peter Falk-impersonation, maybe he should have done that here, it could have saved the entire movie).

To add insult to injury the movie is riddled with continuity errors and most of them so painfully obvious they are impossible to hide in post-production. It makes you wonder if they even had a script-girl on the set!

Who is to blame for all these short-comings? That's easy to answer: the combination of a scriptwriter who doesn't own an original bone in his body, has no talent for true comedy, and a director who hasn't done a good comedy-picture since the 1980's. Part is to blame also on the production company Franchise Pictures, who are sailing up like a modern-day Cannon Group (everybody who remembers the 80's sure remember that Cannon-logo). Take a look at Franchise Pictures' list of films, it's like 1 good film for every 3 mediocre ones (and yes, they were the ones who produced "Battlefield Earth"). But I'm also a little ambivalent when it comes to Franchise, as one if it's producers is Andrew Stevens, a likable guy and a former actor. I wish him all the success in the world, but please, find better production-talent.

Back to "The Whole Ten Yards": the worst thing about it, what also annoyed me to the point of screaming in the first movie, is that you just don't care! These characters have almost no re-deeming qualities what-so-ever. Sure, you can disguise Bruce Willis as a pampering housewife, crying over his dead chicken, or show Amanda Peet caring and wanting to save Natasha Henstridge from her captors, but what does all this matter when the same people run around threatening to kill each other every five minutes? Willis pulls a gun on his wife so many times I lost count (on his wife!!!), and Matthew Perry - who has one of the most likable personas in Hollywood - plays a dentist who, when one of his patients stop breathing, reacts by running off to lunch! It's like they are evil to the core and when this is supposed to be a "comedy" I'm tempted to ask: where is all the REAL fun???

Please, no more, no "The Whole Eleven Yards".

5/10

This black comedy concerns a notorious hit-man named John 'the Tulip' (Bruce Willis) , he's living retired when his previous neighbor Nicholas Oz (Matthew Perry) asks him for help. His wife Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge) has been kidnapped by the Hungarian mobster named Lazlo (Kevin Pollack) and looking for revenge . Lazlo sends his son Strabo (Frank Collison) , but he's abducted by Johnny (Willis) , Jill (Peet) and Oz (Perry) .

This attractive film made in screwball style displays black comedy, plot twists , laughters , turns , giggles and a little bit of action. Casting is frankly well . Matthew Perry as a mild-mannered and miserable dentist is nice . Amanda Peet is very amusing as a wanna-be hit-woman and fan of the actual murderers . Furthermore, a cool Kevin Pollack with abundant make-up and a sympathetic grandmother with flatulence . Adequate music score by John Debney and colorful cinematography by Dennis Weaver , no confusion with TV actor , recently deceased. The motion picture wes well directed by Howard Deutch . He's a sequels expert ,he has made three in which he didn't shoot the original (The odd couple , Grumpiers old men and this one) and comedy specialist (Pretty in pink , Great outdoors and My best friend's girl). This farcical comedy with similar ingredients to original will appeal to Bruce Willis and Matthew Perry fans. Rating : Acceptable, passable but inferior to original entry.