The Whole Ten Yards

An unnecessary sequel if there ever was one finds bumbling dentist Oz (Perry) now happily married to Cynthia (Henstridge), until she's kidnapped by vengeful mobster Lazlo Gogolák (Pollak) and his Hungarian crew who know that former associate Jimmy Tudeski (Willis) is still alive. Not capable of getting her back by himself, Oz enlists the aid of Jimmy and wife Jill (Peet); she's just itching to get back into the game, but unfortunately Jimmy has put the old life behind him in favor of staying at home and obsessing over the cleanliness of his surroundings. The same cast that brought such glee and energy to The Whole Nine Yards flounders in this embarrassingly unfunny follow-up where the film's ridiculous story throws out one silly plot twist after another and an abundance of desperate gags. A feeling of utter hopelessness permeates each scene, and at times the actors appear as if they're begging for help. *

As a sequel to The Whole Nine Yards, this film was a disappointment. Bruce Willis and Matthew Perry reunite as the retired Mafia Hit-man and the nervy dentist, as does Amanda Peet as the aspiring hit woman. The thing is this time around the acting wasn't that great. Willis is usually good with comic timing but it isn't there here, while Peet looks bored. Only Perry really stands out, his slapstick schtick makes me want to watch an episode of Friends pretty much.

The film is stylishly shot, and has a good soundtrack, and there is evidence of some solid pacing. However, the plot is very contrived, the direction haphazard and the script weak. So overall, this film was a disappointment, it wasn't completely awful but I would be lying if I said it was great. 4/10 Bethany Cox

I feel like quoting Matthew Perry from this very movie: "I've never been more confused in my entire life!"

Is there really a story in here? Not a story, I mean a STORY, you know, the kind that makes people go "wow, I never saw that one coming," or "haha, how original!" How they decided to make a sequel to a movie that never did that well in the first place I will never know, at least not with these stars! The original made only like 60 million in the US, and felt more like a made-for-TV-comedy than anything else. Is this anywhere near a Bruce Willis-vehicle? It sure as heck feels and plays more like a Chevy Chase-comedy, and I don't mean early Chase (which I love) but more of what he did in his fifties, "Cops and Robbersons" and stuff like that. THIS IS NOT BIG BOX OFFICE MATERIAL FOR THE YEAR 2004! Like "Best Defense" with Dudley Moore and Eddie Murphy was not box office material in 1984!

Is it totally bereft of entertainment value? Of course not, it has it's funny moments, but it is just so... ordinary, so darn average, like "Full House" on a Monday night line-up of "Seinfeld" and "Frasier", like a meat ball when you should be having steak, oh I don't know how else to explain it. Matthew Perry is a wonderful comic actor, in my opinion he's closing in on the great ones, like Danny Kaye and Jerry Lewis, but he can run into doors and fall flat on his back only so many times before it looses it's effect. He had one of the greatest running-into-doors-scenes in the history of actors-running-into-things in "The Whole Nine Yards" (when he hits that glass door, hilarious!), but here it is done so many times it just ends up as a cheap reminder of what thin material they were working with.

There is however two memorable moments of "The Whole TEN Yards": one hysterically funny scene between Willis and Perry getting dead drunk in a bar (followed by the waking-up-scene next morning), and Frank Collison as 'Strabo', one of the villains who ironically I found both funnier and more likable than the heroes! Kevin Pollak, who can be one of the funniest men in the business when given the right material tries to do a Peter Sellers-thing here, under heavy make-up as an old mob boss who has trouble with the English language and slaps whoever tries to point this out. This time around Pollak tries so hard it basically falls flat, like Perry when he crashes into his surroundings (but Pollak will always have a special place in my heart for his brilliant Peter Falk-impersonation, maybe he should have done that here, it could have saved the entire movie).

To add insult to injury the movie is riddled with continuity errors and most of them so painfully obvious they are impossible to hide in post-production. It makes you wonder if they even had a script-girl on the set!

Who is to blame for all these short-comings? That's easy to answer: the combination of a scriptwriter who doesn't own an original bone in his body, has no talent for true comedy, and a director who hasn't done a good comedy-picture since the 1980's. Part is to blame also on the production company Franchise Pictures, who are sailing up like a modern-day Cannon Group (everybody who remembers the 80's sure remember that Cannon-logo). Take a look at Franchise Pictures' list of films, it's like 1 good film for every 3 mediocre ones (and yes, they were the ones who produced "Battlefield Earth"). But I'm also a little ambivalent when it comes to Franchise, as one if it's producers is Andrew Stevens, a likable guy and a former actor. I wish him all the success in the world, but please, find better production-talent.

Back to "The Whole Ten Yards": the worst thing about it, what also annoyed me to the point of screaming in the first movie, is that you just don't care! These characters have almost no re-deeming qualities what-so-ever. Sure, you can disguise Bruce Willis as a pampering housewife, crying over his dead chicken, or show Amanda Peet caring and wanting to save Natasha Henstridge from her captors, but what does all this matter when the same people run around threatening to kill each other every five minutes? Willis pulls a gun on his wife so many times I lost count (on his wife!!!), and Matthew Perry - who has one of the most likable personas in Hollywood - plays a dentist who, when one of his patients stop breathing, reacts by running off to lunch! It's like they are evil to the core and when this is supposed to be a "comedy" I'm tempted to ask: where is all the REAL fun???

Please, no more, no "The Whole Eleven Yards".

5/10

THE WHOLE TEN YARDS (2004) Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Kevin Pollock, et al

This is one more example that 'More is NOT Better'! Nine Yards was entertaining, the jokes worked. Ten Yards is so bad that we walked away before the ending.

Although the same cast returns for this second bout, this one is boring, with loud yelling throughout, no chemistry, a waste of talented actors, and, a waste of our money.

Reading other comments, apparently some folks liked it. We give it a portion of one star. Our recommendation: Save your money, or wait until it's free and you have absolutely nothing better to do.

After the fun time I had watching The Whole Nine Yards, I was looking forward to seeing The Whole Ten Yards. But I watched it last night and I was pretty much disappointed with where they took the story. It just seemed like they took the characters and turned them into something completely different. For me, I'm such a Bruce Willis fan, so when I saw him growing and acting like a bull while he was drunk in one scene, I didn't laugh, I actually wanted to cry for him, it was pretty pathetic what they did to this cool, smooth, charismatic hit man that we knew and loved in the first film. The script and story was just up to par like the first film was, in fact, I would've appreciated it if they just left The Whole Nine Yards alone if they really felt like this one had a chance for a great comedy.

Jimmy has changed from this tough guy hit man to a Martha Stuart and Jill is not happy with it. Oz and Cynthia are in a quiet life in hiding from the gangsters. Lazlo is out of prison and wants revenge, so he "kidnaps" Cynthia and now Jimmy, Jill, and Oz get together to save her only to find out there are more twists and turns than they expected. But Jimmy has to go deep back into his roots of being the tough guy, not Mr. Clean.

Now don't get me wrong, The Whole Ten Yards has a few laughs here and there, but for the most part I just actually felt bad for Bruce Willis with the silly attempt to be a soft like Martha Stuart type of guy, he's just such a great tough guy, it's hard to see him as anything else. Matthew Perry wasn't as fun as he was in the first movie and neither was Amanda, it just seems like everyone lost their magic and chemistry with each other in this film. I really wish that I loved this film, but I'm having a hard time, I'm sorry.

4/10