Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

I can say in all seriousness that this film is the funniest I have ever had the good fortune to watch. The fact that the humor is unintentional only makes it that much better (unless this is all a joke and it really is supposed to be this bad). In any case, anyone who feels like their life is going poorly, just remember: not once, at any point in your life have you ever produced anything half as bad as this movie. Everything about this movie, from the script to the acting and, especially, to the special effects, is literally laugh-out-loud funny. I strongly strongly recommend Shark Attack 3: Megalodon to anyone who hasn't revelled in its B-movie glory.

When I first watched the movie, I recognized a lot of footage from underwater documentaries (the producers should check copywright details with the estate of cmdr. Cousteau & others). The first half of the movie was no more than a lame excuse to show naked women and people being eaten. If you look close you can actually see a lot of editing mistakes. PS. sharks do not roar like some kind of mutated dog in the water !!!

When the director tries to create the feeling that the shark is swimming at a tremendous depth, you can see the surface in the background. The same goes vice versa.

In the second half there are different sharks taking on the role of the lead character. The actual megalodon is displayed as a 30's monster that eats everything in its path. A shark (even a Megalodon), would never eat a full size motorboat or jetski, try passing such a thing true your intestine...?. And why, were people jumping in the water when there is a shark attacking your boat? Why .... you should check it out yourself, you'll find lots of fun things to discuss.

This movie is pretty much at the top of the bad movie food chain. I laughed at literally every scene, I don't know how they managed to make a simple thing like the hero typing an email funny but they did.

The first thing you notice about the movie is the shark is either shown as shark footage (which is fair enough) or something that looks like it was made in Microsoft paint. I'm guessing bad actors are drawn to bad scripts like sharks to chum and this chum is especially fishy. Witness the security guard who just has to say a couple of simple lines but is quite clearly reading from a cue card he can't quite see. Most movies would cut him out, especially as the scene is pointless.

I also especially liked the helicopter pilot, if a man doesn't twitch a muscle at the sight of a 100ft shark then it's hard to imagine anything in life really moving him. Maybe he's just feeling down because his helicopter is quite clearly a toy or maybe he's just bemused because the shark grunts like a pig throughout the film.

The best scene doesn't involve the shark at all. They're stood on the beach and our hero delivers one of the worst lines ever written. If you've seen the movie you know the one, if not then you have the right to discover the beauty of it yourself.

Probably the funniest film ever made, no bad movie shelf is complete without it. Fingers crossed they make another one with the exact same cast and writer.

While it's difficult to find anything useful to add to the many insighful reviews of this "movie," there is at least one performance I think deserves special mention. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon offers one of the best examples of "method acting" I've ever seen. Leading man John Barrowman so immerses himself in his character that his single-minded approach dominates every scene. Unfortunately, the character he assumes for this movie was not that of Ben the glorified lifeguard who appears in the script, but the character of Tom Cruise playing Ben the lifeguard. In almost every shot, Barrowman can be seen ripping off a Cruise smile, a Cruise laugh, a Cruise pose, a Cruise expression, a Cruise anything he can get his hands on. And all this is completely independent of whatever Ben the Lifeguard is supposed to be doing in the scene other than being a Tom Cruise impersonator. I've seen some other actors attempt similar feats (Skeet Ulrich as Johnny Depp comes to mind), but none has taken on this particular role with such scrupulous dedication and total disregard of its effect on the actual movie.

Shark Attack 3 is truly an awful movie, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't grab some friends and popcorn and spend your evening watching it. It is so awful, the acting so campy, the special effects so cheesy, the dialog so terrible and the plot so contrived from Jaws that this movie is a must see. The sharks are nothing more than stock footage (and how does stock footage eat people? you ask...oh, you'll see!), the Mexican actors are, in actuality, Russian/Bulgarian, and there are some truly unforgettable scenes. Not to mention a rather dirty pick-up line...

I've seen some bad movies in my day, but I must admit that Shark Attack 3 truly takes the cake. Go check it out yourself. (But avoid Shark Attacks 1 and 2, they're reportedly decent.)

PS I changed the ten to a one since a lot of SA3 'fans' want it in the Bottom 100. I agree.