- Claire McLeod: You ready for another beer, Maid Marion?
- [laughs]
- Alex Ryan: Yeah thanks Nick.
- Tess Silverman McLeod: [laughing] What?
- Claire McLeod: It's his middle name.
- [everyone laughs]
- Alex Ryan: Yeah it's Marion, right yeah, go on get it out of your system, have a good laugh.
- Claire McLeod: Put it away mate
- Alex Ryan: Get out of here, I'm a man, she's a woman.
- Claire McLeod: Thanks, so what does that make me?
- Alex Ryan: Why you're a... you're a Claire
- Dave Brewer: Maybe we could pose with some stock... like the sheep.
- Nick Ryan: Sure that'll look great! three naked guys and a paddock full of pregnant sheep.
- [after a man claiming to be Jack's son turns up]
- Terry Dodge: That man sowed enough wild oats to make porridge.
- [about the boot that Claire is using as a stand in for the baby]
- Tess Silverman McLeod: Junior must take after your side of the family.
- [about Alex's attitude towards Sandra]
- Nick Ryan: Do you realise you are in a 'mine's bigger than yours' competition with a woman
- Claire McLeod: What Alex? It's just a boob.
- Alex Ryan: Yeah but it's a breastfeeding boob, not a GROPING boob.
- [after the shed exploded during the fire]
- Nick Ryan: If you wanted to get rid of the shed you could've just knocked it down
- Claire McLeod: Have I ever mentioned Sandra Kinsela
- Tess Silverman McLeod: Well, no
- Claire McLeod: There's a reason for that... I hate her guts.
- Stevie Hall: Claire had really bad taste in men.
- Tess Silverman McLeod: What about Alex?
- Stevie Hall: Like I said, she had bad taste.
- [Tess has spent the night at Alex's looking after "his" baby which had been dumped on his doorstep]
- Claire McLeod: I would put money on you having a problem.
- Tess Silverman McLeod: Yeah well, getting rid of fornicating pests is quite appealing this morning.
- Tess Silverman McLeod: You are feeling guilty, aren't you?
- Nick Ryan: So take advantage.
- Tess Silverman McLeod: Oh, I intend to.
- Tess Silverman McLeod: After Claire admits stealing a stamp at school. Nerd crimes don't count Claire.
- Tess Silverman McLeod: Perhaps she thinks alpacas are cool
- Jodi Fountain: Yeah, it seems a pity to shatter her illusions
- Tess Silverman McLeod: You are a petty, greedy, money hungry... cattle barron.
- Nick Ryan: Well then try this, we're over.
- Tess Silverman McLeod: We never began.
- Nick Ryan: Well fantastic, we agree.
- Tess Silverman McLeod: Yeah you bet we do.
- Dave Brewer: [after mistakenly gelding Harry's horse] If I never touch a horse's testicles again it will be too soon.
- Dave Brewer: [bangs on the loo where Pat has his dark room] Patrick! Oi, What, have you fallen in or something?
- Patrick Brewer: I'm printing, won't be long.
- Dave Brewer: Mate, I'm due on rounds!
- Patrick Brewer: So use a bush outside.
- Dave Brewer: Some things can't be done behind a bush!
- Dave Brewer: [to himself] Why can't you do model airplanes like other little brothers? Come on!
- Patrick Brewer: Yea, I'm in a hurry.
- Dave Brewer: Believe me, so am I!
- Claire McLeod: I talk to you.
- Tess Silverman McLeod: But I'm not a single attractive, interesting man.
- Claire McLeod: Well spotted.
- Nick Ryan: Shopping, these people are truly evil, if we stay her long enough we might see them doing something really depraived like cooking.
- [Nick as he and Alex watch Peter's family trying to dig up dirt on Peter]
- Jodi Fountain: I am beginning to wonder if Stevie is seriously mentally unbalanced
- Stevie Hall: We've got to check the water pumps, even the mentally unbalanced have to work.
- Nick Ryan: Stairs or Sandra - either will kill you.
- [Nick after Harry tells him he has to be able to make it up the stairs, without stopping before he can get "intimate" with Sandra again]
- Tess Silverman McLeod: With the internet the whole worlds just one big village.
- Meg Fountain: And your the village matchmaker.