Tail Sting

How this movie was made past 2000 blows my mind. The effects and dialogue are some of the worst I have ever seen. The prime example of this is when the character Courtney sits next to the German character Gunther (later to be revealed to be an American named Joel) and this is how they strike up their conversation. Courtney- Your weird Gunther- Uhh sex At this point I was on the floor laughing my ass off. There are also many other points which are either ridiculous, stupid or full of bloopers. There are even times where members of the crew are visible. Not to mention the ridiculous weapon that is rigged up to kill the queen of the scorpion (scorpions have queens?). It supposedly a super strong electrifier that needs armor to protect the user. But all it is is a simple defibrillater. The effect that it makes when used on the queen looks good for the original Godzilla. That goes for many of the effects in this movie.

As someone who prides himself on being a connoseur of the So-Bad-It's-Good school of movies, regardless of the genre, I cannot stress enough how gawd-AWFUL this movie really is. We are talking so dreadful, that there isn't a single redeeming nugget of entertainment value to be gleaned from it, and considering some of the dreck I have been privy to, that's a remarkable statement to make with any confidence. But if any movie could make the likes of such anti-classics like PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE or HORROR OF PARTY BEACH seem like Shakespeare, well, this is it.

I couldn't get this out of my DVD player fast enough after about ten minutes. Save yourself the agony. Go find a copy of ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES and rent that, before you even think about this one.

And PLEASE...don't let the artwork on the cover fool you. That's exactly what moviemakers of this ilk rely on. For once, judge a book by its cover, and skip TAIL STING.

Let's get something straight before properly beginning: If you rent a film about giant scorpions from your local video store, you had better not expect roundly excellent, Altmanesque ensemble acting; Malickian cinematography; or Wellsian direction. You probably shouldn't even expect special effects that are any good. (The most you can reasonably do is cross your fingers that the puppetry is better than that of a four-year-old with his hand up a stuffed Cookie Monster's bum, or that the CGI looks little like a first-generation Nintendo 64 title.)

On the other hand, if you possess any powers whatever of a little thing called deduction, you're likely not to be disappointed by TAIL STING. In fact, I have no reservations at all in proclaiming TS as some sort of masterpiece of its kind. The budget probably couldn't have covered the waiter's tip at a upscale restaurant, and yet somehow these film-makers made a movie about mutant scorpions on a airplane. MUTANT SCORPIONS ON A AIRPLANE. No simple feat!

What puts the movie over the top is the absence of the cynical indifference that is to be found in most recent pictures of this type. It's almost as if some people actually put some _care_ into this tiny little picture, where they could have relied soley on the MUTANT SCORPIONS ON AN AIRPLANE hook--which, incidentally, makes a great box cover and plot synopsis--and called it a day.

So, if you're a connoisseur of straight-to-video nonsense and/or have some beer left in the fridge and a night free of responsibilities, drop a 3.97 on TAIL STING and have some fun, and console yourself that you at least did not rent neither HOUSE OF THE DEAD nor KANGAROO JACK.

I have a sick weakness for cheesy budget Air Disaster/Mishap/Hijack type scenarios. Tail sting however is just too much. I only paid £0.99 from Tesco Extra (UK supermarket) and even after a further 10% staff discount was applied I consider myself robbed. The movie is too stupid to be serious but doesn't seem to be an attempt at humour either. I can only assume it was made as some kind of straight face challenge. Hard to believe that Amazon are charging £15.99 for it. I was considering listing it on eBay but I don't need any more negative feedback. The best thing about is the case it came in, as I can reuse it for something else.

I watched this movie for my Tapes that Time Forgot series on YouTube (the Enthusiast) and am now debating on whether or not I should subject my viewers to this absolute travesty. It's a complete clutter from start to finish, riddled with plot holes, wacky dialogue, and plain old bad scenes. For your sake: DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE.