Spiders II: Breeding Ground

The first "Spiders" is one of my guiltiest guilty pleasures in the horror genre, simply because that movie is just too stupid NOT to enjoy! It had grotesque special effects, featured every single cliché of the freshly revived creature-feature sub genre and it never took itself too seriously, which resulted in a fairly entertaining & campy flick. Part two regretfully is the complete opposite of all that. It tries to be scary and original, which is a pretty bad approach if you're dealing with mutated spiders that look as gigantic as a house! Despite the remotely promising opening sequences (featuring an authentic pirate attack!) and a lot of gory killings near the end, "Spiders 2" is also a very boring film and that's really unforgivable for a post-2000 horror production. The sail boat of a young couple sinks during a storm but they're rescued by a huge cargo ship. The exclusively male crew members are insufferably friendly even though it's more than obvious that they're naughty villains, especially the annoying captain of the ship and the stereotypical mad doctor with the white beard. It takes another tedious half hour before it's confirmed that the cargo ship actually is a floating research lab where the sinister scientist feeds human bodies to over-sized tarantulas. The ramshackle old cargo ship forms an interesting location, but crap-director Sam Firstenberg nearly isn't talented enough to make full use of it. The CGI-effects are atrocious, as are the acting performances and it's really pathetic to see how everyone involved in this Nu-Image production takes this thing so damn seriously.

There's a movie channel in LA called 'B' Mania. You can see some of the worst 'fun' movies on it. They wouldn't dare show this one. I expected Richard Moll to lapse in his 'Bull' character at any moment. The CGI is bad, the acting is bad, the movie is bad. Period.

Most of the people who've seen and slated Spiders 2 have obviously never seen Spiders 1, as the sequel is practically Citizen Kane in comparison. Most of the actors do a passable job (including Richard Moll - an actor I actually recognised, the last thing you expect from a film like this), and the director even throws in some halfhearted camera tricks - brilliantly stupid shots include the heroine diving through a bit of flimsy webbing in slo-mo as if it were a plate glass window.

However, any and all attempts to build up suspense totally disintegrate when the SFX are brought into play (some of the CG shots near the end are laugh-out-loud hilarious), and, unforgivably, it also suffers from Boring Spider Deaths. It also has absolutely no connection to the original, though I'm not sure whether that's a good or bad thing.

Still impossible to recommend as a good film, then, but it's definitely a cut above the original (if not quite as funny).

let's see now... Spiders 2... ummm.... the special effects are just silly..... the dialogue is wooden, weird, and hard to take seriously... the mad scientist acts and talks and looks like a Saturday morning cartoon character... the story has lots of plot and logic loopholes, verging on the ridiculous....

the story is predictable and is very very very slow moving -- we can all see where it's going, so why can't the characters?

actually you could save this movie by taking out virtually all of the dialogue -- not a word of it is necessary --- then taking out redundant and unnecessary scenes -- and bringing in a better cinematographer with more knowledge about dramatic lighting. It would work okay as a silent movie, about ten or fifteen minutes long.

During the opening sequence a guy drops a dead body in to a cage containing a giant spider. Straight after that we cut to a yacht full of teenagers in the middle of the ocean(!) as they play cards they are hi-jacked by guys in black with guns and all the girls are taken prisoner, the guys with guns then blow the yacht up with a grenade burning all the men left inside. Cut to next day and our two main characters Jason and Alexander find this yacht and stop to have a look and decide they will report it and theres nothing else they can do. Unfortunately for us and them they get caught out by a big storm and end up overboard. Luckily for them a large cargo ship turns up and saves them. But this cargo ship is not what it seems. I dont think I need to tell you the rest as you should be able to guess quite easily. I hate this film and you will too. I cant think of one good thing to say about it. The story is very slow to get going, the actors are annoying, and as for the effects they are some of the worst I have ever seen including awful computer effects, rubbish spider puppets and the film makers even have the nerve to put a normal sized spider on a model/toy boat to try to convince you that a huge spider is crawling over this cargo ship. It is never explained how the spiders grow to such large proportions or the reason why there is a cargo ship full of the things. I would have thought the director and screenwriter might have at least tried to come up with some sort of explanation, but no they couldnt be bothered. I think this movies script was written on the back of a postage stamp. Dont say I didnt Warn you. See the much better original spiders instead.