Garage Days

I had to check the DVD box three times to be sure that it was the name ALEX

PROYAS as director, because this is just such an unbelievably bad and

amateurish film. It would be more believable with its odd tone, jokiness and

musical/fantasy elements if it were a hitherto undiscovered, very, very very early Baz Luhrman project.

"Garage Days" is a whimsical look at a contemporary Sydney, Australia rock

band. For an American viewer, the first obstacle is the slangy, heavily accented Australian dialect. I do understand that is the setting, but for anybody in another English speaking country to understand even half of the plot, they needed to

tone down the accent and the words that are incomprehensible to the (much

larger potential) US audience. Like "pokies"...I guess they are slot machines but it certainly was not clear.

The story is so aimlessly told that although it's about a rock band -- I did get that -- I have no idea after watching the whole film what the band's NAME was. They don't play a whole song until the very end, and then we are told that they really suck -- although actually they are not that terrible. So all the sturm and drang is for absolutely nothing, because they are talentless and as the tie-ups at the end tell us, all the members went on to other careers or get married.

The overall tone of the film is very like an old episode of the Monkees or The Partridge Family -- very jokey and cartoon-like, with lots of stylized action. Of course, because this is the 2000's, we have to get the requisite CGI effects: bullet time, slo mo, CGI monsters and drug trips and other comical moments.

None of this really pans out or seems to work. The emotional tone is so sixties and caricaturing, and yet the story is supposed to be very "now" and the

characters wouldn't have even been born in the 60s.

Some of the lamest moments involve "drug trips", portrayed like something out of Reefer Madness.

I can only scratch my head wondering why Alex Proyas, who made two of the

most stylish, influential and original sci fi fantasy movies of the 90s would have stooped to this embarrassing garbage. It can't have been money, because this is a pretty low budget affair and it can't be fame, because it seems to be aimed mostly at the Aussie film market. Perhaps Mr. Proyas was himself once in a

Garage Band and wanted to relive it a bit, although he would have to be at least 20 years older than the characters in the film.

"Garage Days" suffers quite badly also when compared to rock band films like

"Almost Famous" or "The Committments". Although the idea of a bad, untalented band is quite funny -- think "Spinal Tap" -- there is an inherent problem that no one wants to listen to really bad music for 2 hours. Also, "Garage Days" is just plain unfunny, with tired sitcom-like jokes.

The sound track has a mixture of oldies and contemporary music, played loudly and over every scene, apparently to compensate for a lack of any original music or even covers played by the band in the film. While some of this music is

enjoyable, the loud overwhelming presence of other, more talented rockers

music only draws attention to the lack of any interesting qualities to the

characters or the plot, and doesn't allow the action to slow down enough for us to develop any intimacy with the characters or the romance between the two

leads.

If shown on MTV as the senior project of an wannabe film director, this would still be lacking in quality, but more understandable and maybe forgivable. As the work of one of most respected sci fi fantasy film directors of the last decade, it is actually disturbing. Since "Dark City", Mr. Proyas has only made two films, this and the dull, derivative "I Robot". WHAT HAPPENED???? I'd give ten dollars to know...but the answer would probably make me very very sad.

Well, I got mixed feelings about this movie after I saw it. The story is not really bad... and it tries to show what Rock And Roll is about... dreams! But the band image...... I think it happened as many other Rock And Roll movies. The band doesn't look real, it looked as a fake, hand-made band. There's no authenticity in the band. They look like some kinda punk-garage band (specially the bass girl), but the song they're playing at the end sounds as an 80's power ballad or so. The guy doing drums looked more like a techno-whatever D.J. And the other band, the one that it's supposed to be the successful band, is called "Sprimp"... what kinda name is that, for Christ sake?

"Garage Days" seems like an attempt to capitalize on a bunch of different genres by re-hashing them into a confused mess of film failure. Offering nothing new or fresh to the table, the film is un-entertaining and plods along at a predictable, ultra-flashy pace. The jubilent, carefree tone of the film is compromised here by weighty subject matter such as abortion and drug use. These "dramatic" elements of the film keep it from having a distinctive tone that engages the viewer when contrasted with the hyper active camera work, pointless interludes and predictable comedy. When all is said and done this is nothing more than a vanity piece trying to showcase cool clothing and little else. All of these combine to deliver an un-entertaining film experience. Pass on this one.

Unfortunately, the rest of the movie sucks on ice.

The "characters" are either overblown clichés (death-obsessed goth girl? Check. Drugged-out drummer with mod haircut? Check check. Ubiquitous use of eyeliner? Check check check!) or ridiculously annoying people who you'd never spend six seconds with in real life.

Script-wise, this is a soggy mess. There are three people credited with the story, which makes sense as there are at least three movies stitched together. My guess is that Dave Warner wrote a comedy, Alex Proyas penned a tragedy, and Michael Udesky scribbled in a notebook while tripping on liquid acid. Then each of them tore out every fourth page of his script, threw the remaining pages up in the air, and stapled the resulting mess together.

The, um, cinematography is aggravating. Tarantino is not hip, MTV is not edgy and that disjointed text-on-screen technique went out of vogue around the 1890's. As for the trip/rave/ingestion scenes, they're as effective as PSAs: Don't do drugs! Why? They're boring as all get-out.

Overall this is a sickeningly inauthentic movie. The acting is laughable, the comedy is unfunny, the pathos makes you hate these people even more than you previously did. All the tattoos look like they were drawn on with Magic Marker. And the band's total playing time is less than two minutes. 90 seconds of that is a fantasy scene.

The ONLY reason to acknowledge the existence of this celluloid horror is its soundtrack. Featuring the Jam, the Femmes, the Cure, Roxy Music and Tom Jones - that's entertainment. Just buy the record and skip this movie entirely.

I don't need to say that i only rented the movie because i saw Alex Proyas name on it. Ofcourse i had read some reviews and seen some pretty slick pics on the net, so i knew what i was getting into. Although i was quite sure that it was a hot potato i expected some style from Proyas, some darkness despite the original premise. What i got wasn't from what i expected, style-wise. Quality-wise though...

The movie started off, more or less like "Snatch" or "Lock Stock..." choose your preference, anyways, quick cuts, some rather silly jokes, freeze frames et la. I though of just stopping the flick and go see a real movie on the nearby theatre. But naw, i just could not, i 've never done that, so why now? I MEAN it didn't suck THAT MUCH. This had all the trademarks of an Alex Proyas movie, i mean it ain't no "Planet of the Apes"(in this one you can tell who directed it), the rock music is here, as a matter of fact The CURE are here as well, the stylish dark kind of MTV shots are here, slow motion clear and present, a pinch darkness? Here as well. But despite having all these elements, i just couldn't stop wondering, what attracted Proyas to the project, it's fairly average if not total garbage of a script. Although not cliched, it has its fair share of wickedness, some funny moments, some chilling moments and some slapstick, but overall it is a mess. What it needed was wit but It lacked wit, it could have worked if there were some Woody Allen or Kevin Smith one-liners--their movies lack srtucture too anyway!--. The music now: as i said it's quite cool, not The Crow kind of cool but still it was a pretty nice little collection of songs, these were used nicely through out the movie, sometimes effectively, most of the times just to provoke feelings that the actors are unable to communicate.

What made the movie worthwhile though, was the fact that it had a few set-pieces which were cool, like a certain bloody bath tub or that slow-mo(bullet time you say?) rain, which looked obviously phony but still that is what makes them attractive. Acting is fairly average, Haley Joel Osment could act the feminine parts better than these gals...not to mention the guys parts the governor of California could kick some serious acting but here! The cinematography is moody at times, there are some new hotties coming out of this flick(no not that leading lady! But surely the other two ladies are certainly going to Hollywood...although they shouldn't really act..if you know what i mean)but other than that... A Final notice i hope I, ROBOT is a return to form, cause this gives Alex a bad name. I mean man! Get a hold of yourself! You've seen it before, it's tv-movie quality, it wanted to be ALMOST FAMOUS--but it's just shite.

4/10 Choose life, Choose another movie...