The Arena

1st watched 10/12/2001 - 3 out of 10(Dir-Timour Bekmambetov): Hard to believe, american playboy playmates pose as female gladiators in this Russian film obviously financed by Americans for video release. This is actually a remake of a Roger Corman film of the early seventies and guess what(He is the executive producer of this film). Lots of violence, some sex but mostly cheaply done film trying to profit on the recent films that have been done in this realm. At least this is not too exploitative of the women in the film. They are more human than most of the men portrayed in the movie, but again this is an obvious movie that was created and setup for a particular purpose and it reaks of this.

Of course Roger Corman was going to cash in on the success of "Gladiator" by having one of his films from the 70's remade. Probably not as good as the original since I have not seen it but this still is entertaining junk. Playboy playmates are cast and of course they are kidnapped, raped, forced to train, and then of course to fight as female gladiators. Here's your chance to see female gladiators with very noticeable breast implants. The film is made with a serious tone and mood and definitely not tongue in cheek. Entertaining exploitation that was actually filmed in Russia.

I'm astonished to read reviews recommending this film for its T&A factor. Considering it is clearly a B-level exploitation film starring two former Playboy Playmates, you'd THINK it had T&A aplenty but it has very little. The four female gladiators who are the leads spend most of their time dressed in dowdy rags that cover them from neck to knees. There are some brief nude scenes and a couple of brief sex scenes, but like the rest of the movie they are jump cut so aggressively that you have a lot of trouble seeing what there is to see. Plus the sex scenes are seriously underlit. It is literally hard to watch the movie because of all the jump cutting. The fight scenes are filmed the same way, which helps somewhat with the rather obvious lack of fighting ability of the gladiatrixes (who don't do all that much fighting -- the fighting is handled by more capable male actors, who were also heavily jump cut, just like the rest of the movie).

Most of the movie's dramatic opportunities are completely bobbled as well. The set up provides for plenty of drama: who shall live, who shall die, whom will be betrayed by whom, etc. Very little advantage was taken of it.

If you are looking for well done gladiator movies, any single episode of the Starz series "Spartacus" will put this movie to shame. Deathstalker and Barbarian Queen have MUCH better fight scenes as well as more and better T&A. "The Arena" is simply a failure, badly botched, not worth any attention at all. There are some MST3K-able bits, but even there the jump cutting is a problem. There is NOTHING to recommend this film. Do. Not. Watch. And if you do ... don't say you weren't warned.

Right off the bat, you'd think that two former playmates playing gladiators would be just about as campy as The Bare Wench Project or something similar, meant solely to show as much T & A as possible. That it was not (although it was not without it). I would say the violence in the movie far outweighed the T & A (again, why cast playmates if there wasn't going to be at least some).

My second misconception was that when these ladies would eventually do battle, it would be too "girlie" or fake, like you could tell the actresses didn't want to break a nail for the sake of the movie. This was very much unlike the "gang fight" in Savage Roses AKA Locas 4 Life, where you could tell every kick was pulled and was probably the first time the actress had even attempted to kick someone. Anyways, I never would have believed that Karen McDougal and Lisa Dergan would have been able to handle a sword believably. I'm sure they were just props, so as to make them lighter and easier to handle, but that's the point right? To make everything as believable as possible.

With that being said, and knowing that I thought it was worth a watch, the one thing that bugged me was the voice acting. Apparently this movie was filmed in Russia, and probably used many Russian actors, but the voices spoken were perfect English. This resulted in the old Kung Fu movie look where hearing the words didn't match up with watching the lips saying the words. However, if you're a lip reader, you can tell they were saying the same thing. This confused me a bit but I got over it.

I also didn't know they had nail salons in ancient Rome, or wherever they were, but now I'm nitpicking. Overall, I'd recommend viewing this movie at least once. I was surprised that it was better than the 2.9 most IMDb voters chose to rate it (at the time this was wrote). MUCH better than the 2.9, in fact, I gave it a 7.

From what I could see, the only reason this movie exists is to give some very beautiful Playmates multiple opportunities to display the nude female figure divine. Regretfully, the nude scenes are (for me anyway) pretty much destroyed by poor editing; the constant cuts and pseudo-artsy close-ups become very distracting after a while. Maybe they were trying to avoid letting us see the silicone <grin>?

The "actresses" can't act, even with their clothes off! Most of the characters are obviously speaking a different language overdubbed in English. As for the storyline, well, it's got so many holes in it, I wouldn't even know where to begin. Even the fights are poorly staged, their impact destroyed by dumb closeups and dizzying, confusing scene jumps.

Too bad, with a little effort, it could actually have been a fairly decent movie. The first step would have had to be, give the Playmates some acting lessons. Both vertical and horizontal.

One positive note: the scenes in which the women struggle to learn the fighting arts are actually quite well-done. You get the feeling the actresses enjoyed learning how to fight, and put themselves into it, without any phoniness.