- Cheyenne: You're leaving? Who's going to watch Elizabeth?
- Reba: Oooh, that was close. I almost left her alone with her parents!
- Van Montgomery: They all want grandchildren, but they never think of the consequences...
- Dolly Majors: And you are gonna be the prettiest woman in the office!
- Reba: Oh, second to you!
- Dolly Majors: Hey, we're not comparing apples and melons here.
- Barbra Jean: [talking about her wedding] I never wanted to get married in the Virgin Islands.
- Reba: Too ironic for ya?
- Reba: You treat that animal like it can walk on water!
- Barbra Jean: What is 'dog' spelled backwards, Reba?
- [conversation about why Barbra Jean's dog is missing goes on for another two minutes]
- Van Montgomery: 'GOD'! It spells 'God.'
- Barbra Jean: Brock, I had an epidural. I think that's what Jesus would have wanted.
- Kyra: I think that's what Mary would have wanted.
- Barbra Jean: You're not the boss of me!
- Reba: If I was your boss, I would be sleeping with you right now.
- Reba: I know what Kyra is doing!
- Brock Hart: Like you did with Cheyenne?
- Reba: Oh, one time! The one time our daughter gets pregnant and I never hear the end of it!
- Electrician: [to Barbra Jean, about Reba] Wow, your mom's a real grouch.
- Barbra Jean: [Barbra Jean looks flattered] I know, right?
- Barbra Jean: [in the hospital, after Cheyenne had a false labor, Barbra Jean sits down on a chair] Oh, my God! I think my water just broke!
- Reba: Oh no, you're sitting on my purse!
- Reba: Jake Mitchell Hart, are you lying to me?
- Jake Hart: Yes! No-one mocks me and gets away with it!
- Reba: So, did that boy even go upstairs?
- Jake Hart: No! And I didn't know he was a boy, I thought he was an ugly girl!
- Reba: You are in big trouble! No tv, no dessert, and Grandma gets her cell phone back!
- [She takes the gameboy SP back and Jake runs upstairs]
- [Van is sleeping, drooling on his sheets. Reba comes in telling him to wake up]
- Van Montgomery: Awwww! I was dreaming about waffles!
- [Van lying on the bed because he can't play football Friday night]
- Cheyenne: Wanna go to the movies?
- Van Montgomery: No.
- Cheyenne: Wanna fool around?
- Van Montgomery: No.
- Cheyenne: Wanna eat some pizza?
- Van Montgomery: No.
- Cheyenne: [Yells] MOM!
- Reba: If Thanksgiving were a concert, the turkey would be Cher.
- Barbra Jean: So, you want to have Thanksgiving here, and you want Cher?
- Reba: That's right. I've got turkey, babe!
- Reba: [when Van gets an injury involving his spine and tail bone] It's a mother-in-law's job to make the best of a bad situation.
- Van Montgomery: [sarcastically] I thought it was a mother-in-law's job to make butt-jokes about her son-in-law.
- Reba: We wear many hats.
- [Reba is shocked by Barbera Jean's new Reba haircut]
- Barbra Jean: So, what do you think? Is it me?
- Reba: [furiously] No. It's me!
- Barbra Jean: Boop! You've got mail!
- [opens Kyra's laptop and makes poses]
- Reba: [to Brock] Boop! You've got a goof-ball!
- Van Montgomery: I'll be with my friends, you'll be with yours. Then we'll hook up later. It'll be just like junior year! Except we're married, you're pregnant, and everything is different.