Groom Lake

You know you have to wonder what's going on with Bill Shatner. He's a talented actor with a beautiful speaking voice, capable of superior performances.

But some of the stuff he is involved in makes you want to shake your head. And this stuff isn't off-the-wall good. It's off-the-wall poor. Poorly made, poorly paced, poorly edited, poorly written, etc. It's as if he is someone who is not quite in touch with himself; and it shows in the projects and people with which he gets associated.

And now we have 'Groom Lake'. It wouldn't make you winch so hard, if it hadn't also been written and directed by Shatner. The logicalness and continuity is uncomfortably close to what you'd expect from an Ed Wood-level production.

Here's this bonehead boyfriend risking life and limb roaring up a treacherous hillside with his dying girlfriend, all the time assuring her that it'll be all right. Well, it's not all right, Mr. Genius. Their vehicle overturns and rolls completely down the hill. And this is only one part of a heavily fragmented, unsupported story line. The negative comments could go on.

For the record this viewer would like to be a full-time fan of Shatner. But, Bill, somehow you just aren't getting the job done. You are capable of a much more brilliant body of work.

Must be the worst film i've seen this year. William Shatner... Somehow that name told me I was about to see some interesting Sci-fi. How wrong I was. This is not good sci-fi. It is awful sci-fi. The effects are bad, the hand-camera choice isn't a wise one, for starters.

This is nothing. It's so lame, so bad actors, so bad a script you just want to die while watching. It isn't even funny. Some flicks are bad so they become fun, but this isn't even that.

Somehow I had the bad taste to pick this one time I was to rent a movie. It was so boring I had to fast-forward the last two thirds of the film. Never see this!

Just a friendly warning.

It is sad to see a potentially nice subject (dying girl tries to find alien life before she dies) wasted like this. The characters are wooden, there is hardly any logic in their actions. But there is a lot more in this film to complain about. The special effects could be charming as they are disarmingly clumsy and unconvincing, but they fail to be. The lighting and editing reminds one of the bold and the beautiful. The acting is terrible. No memorable one-liners whatsoever. In short, there are no redeeming qualities. William Shatner even succeeded in miscasting himself. Only a tiny amount of irony or self-parody would have made the film at least bearable, but unfortunately it all seems to be meant seriously. Avoid.

The ultimate culmination of accidentally revealing too much about yourself, Groom Lake is William Shatner outdoing Neil Breen at Breen's own game. It's a film that has made me fully re-evaluate my life, unlike most of Breen's filmography, stuff happens, people react and Shatner directs with such glorious low-budget sleaze it just might make people forgive him for Star Trek V. Honestly, seeing William Shatner dressed as an alien spaceman reciting poetry to a glowing blue man is an easy sell and about the least crazy thing that happens in this film.

There's also a moment near the very beginning where a character is revealed to have Lupis and I fully expected Dr House to show up for a split second...

William Shatner has been around the movie and tv business long enough that he ought to be able to do simple things like choose film stock, know when something looks cheesy, and know when acting is bad.

In Groom Lake, Shatner simply did not consider quality. One scene looks like a movie set and another looks like someone's bedroom, shot with a home 16mm film camera. Maybe he did put some love into the film, but that is not what moviegoers come to watch.

This is a horrible movie. Don't rent it unless you absolutely have to see how low Shatner can go. If you do rent it, be prepared to scratch your head in confusion, and groan with pain over the this turkey.