Groom Lake

You know you have to wonder what's going on with Bill Shatner. He's a talented actor with a beautiful speaking voice, capable of superior performances.

But some of the stuff he is involved in makes you want to shake your head. And this stuff isn't off-the-wall good. It's off-the-wall poor. Poorly made, poorly paced, poorly edited, poorly written, etc. It's as if he is someone who is not quite in touch with himself; and it shows in the projects and people with which he gets associated.

And now we have 'Groom Lake'. It wouldn't make you winch so hard, if it hadn't also been written and directed by Shatner. The logicalness and continuity is uncomfortably close to what you'd expect from an Ed Wood-level production.

Here's this bonehead boyfriend risking life and limb roaring up a treacherous hillside with his dying girlfriend, all the time assuring her that it'll be all right. Well, it's not all right, Mr. Genius. Their vehicle overturns and rolls completely down the hill. And this is only one part of a heavily fragmented, unsupported story line. The negative comments could go on.

For the record this viewer would like to be a full-time fan of Shatner. But, Bill, somehow you just aren't getting the job done. You are capable of a much more brilliant body of work.

To call this movie good would be an exaggeration, but it wasn't THAT bad. Amy Acker's character was likable, and I have a fairly high tolerance for William Shatner's acting, so I made it all the way through it. The plot could have been tightened up a lot, and some jokes would have helped. This movie is worth watching if you happen to be bored, and it's free. You should only purchase it (if it's available on DVD, which I honestly don't know) if you're a completionist fan of one of the leads. The special effects were dull at best, and the mechanics overall lacked dazzle, but they really weren't distractingly bad. Mostly. In short, the film met the standard formula for a sci-fi channel Saturday night feature: take a screenplay nobody bothered to edit, add a few actors who sci-fi fans will recognize, film it as quickly as possible, and release it with a minimum amount of post-production attention. This one's a masterpiece compared to Manticore, but not quite as good as, oh, say, Darklight.

The ultimate culmination of accidentally revealing too much about yourself, Groom Lake is William Shatner outdoing Neil Breen at Breen's own game. It's a film that has made me fully re-evaluate my life, unlike most of Breen's filmography, stuff happens, people react and Shatner directs with such glorious low-budget sleaze it just might make people forgive him for Star Trek V. Honestly, seeing William Shatner dressed as an alien spaceman reciting poetry to a glowing blue man is an easy sell and about the least crazy thing that happens in this film.

There's also a moment near the very beginning where a character is revealed to have Lupis and I fully expected Dr House to show up for a split second...

I love Bill Shatner. I have seen most anything he's done, and even went to Ssplat attack II to see him. Still, he shouldn't just take any damn movie. I mean, there is that stupid chef show, now this, this horrible, horrible movie. You may think 'how bad can it be?'. Well, I was dehydrated for two days from spitting on the DVD and cursing Bill Shatner's name.

I live in the same town, where a lot of this film was made. Well, at least shot. And although I was not personally an extra a few of my friends were. They said in their opinion it was the most fun they had ever had because they were asked basically to act like morons on camera. When I asked if that was all they said yeah and they couldn't wait to see what a piece of junk this movie turned out to be. We were disappointed. The acting is sub-porno standards and many extras blatantly look right into the camera. We here in town basically refer to the movie as the worst movie ever to be caught on film and hope that in a thousand years it will NOT be what is used to show what our entertainment epitomized. Save your money, and your time. Do not rent, nor watch this film.