The Brotherhood

No, this is not Male Model University, but judging by the student body you need to look like one to attend. It's apparent you need a muscular physique, perfectly gelled hair and tight leather duds just to take a stroll around campus. At parties, name drop Nietzsche and make sure you wear a fine suit and tie so you have something nice to puke all over. Never button up your top three buttons, hang out in juvenile high schoolish cliques and always wear shades. No, this thing isn't set on Mars, but close enough: it's set in the minds of horny skeezers David DeCoteau and scripter Matthew Jason Walsh, so any resemblance between this and any real college campus is strictly coincidental.

Oh yeah, the so-called plot... Hunky freshman stud-ent Christopher Chandler (Nathan Watkins) is anti-frat, but still wooed by the most popular house on campus. I mean, aren't Devon, Barry, Jordan and Mikhael the type of dudes everyone wants to hang with? No, not really. They're conceited, shallow, boring, and stupid, they throw lame parties and they drink blood to stay young and desirable. Go figure.

DeCoteau began his career exploiting the bods of B-babes like Linnea Quigley and Brinke Stevens and now he's switched to men's bodies, which is completely fair in our more enlightened age. Men deserve to be treated like meat, too, but it's too bad these talent-dry bonehead boy toys ACT like meat. You'd be hard pressed to find more lifeless, listless performances (particularly Bradley Stryker as the main bad guy) but hell, they DO look great in their matching boxer briefs. Save yourself the time and skim through a Calvin Klein catalogue instead. And this thing merits a pair of sequels?!

This movie fails on all accounts.

The script is pathetic. The story is weak and the characters shallow. You couldn't set out to write a B-movie script this bad. The plot is so weak that the framework seems like it's designed for pornography.

The cinematography is juvenile. The camera angles are contrived, close-ups are used without good purpose and the lighting always seems artificial. It feels like one never leaves the same simple set.

The acting, save Josh Hammond as Dan, is really bad. The actors' deliveries are monotonous. The range of emotions is zero.

The men are all beautiful, each one an Adonis, but to what end? Adolescent girls and adolescent gay boys will surely revel in these images but beyond that, there is no artful purpose served by the physiques.

I hate to pan someone's work so badly but this movies is truly horrible.

Wow, this movie is even gayer than "HellBent"! What are the odds of that ever happening? I don't think David DeCoteau ever had the intention of making a horror movie… He clearly just wanted to surround himself with athletic & handsome twenty-something boys, so he quickly thought up a scenario about a college fraternity of vampires. Instead of action & suspense, we get an whole army of male students parading in their matching tight white boxer shorts and instead of gory massacres we get insecure boys openly talking about their feelings and emotions…for hours! Two young losers meet each other on the first day of college. Chris has the body of a regular jock, but he's the sensitive type, so he doesn't want people to judge him based on his appearance. The other one, Dan, never stops nagging about how unpopular he was in his previous school. They befriend a girl with an incredibly beautiful rack; still all they ever talk about is their mutual friendship. In come the boys of the Domo Tau Omega fraternity; pretentious little pricks with sunglasses that rule over the university. Their leader – super gay dude Devon – wants Chris to join his elite group because he fancies him. Poor Chris doesn't know, however, that they form the gayest coven of vampires horror cinema has ever brought forward. "The Brotherhood" is a terrible film. There's not even an attempt to build up tension or atmosphere and DeCoteau didn't even bother to insert some cheesy horror effects. The vampires suck, all right. But not blood… They suck at making themselves appear menacing and evil. The dialogs are abysmal and the production values are overall poor, barely disguising the fact that our director is more interested in shooting porn movies. Or maybe put together catalogs for men's underwear. He should do so, and quit misleading fans of horror films. The cast members may be yummy eye-candy (at least, for certain target groups), but none of them has the slightest bit of acting talent. One to avoid at all costs.

I totally agree with the other person who wrote up this movie--seriously the worst movie ever made. I have seen some terrible movies but this "horror" flick was such a laugh...my friends and I literally laughed through it. Do not ever see it! I can't believe they made not one but two sequels to this piece of garbage.

A bunch of hunky guys with bodies to die for march around - say a few stilted sentences - pull off their shirts, reveal they are vampires and then say a few more stilted words. That pretty much sums up this baaaad film. If you want to look at really hunky guys - go for it. Don't expect much in the way of script or acting though. There is only one actor with anything resembling talent and he's relegated to being the "ugly geek" though he is not. You could drive trains through the gaps in the dialogue - which is too elaborate and wordy for what is being said. Expositional information is related that doesn't fit the characters presenting it. And explain something to me - how does the most popular fraternity manage to have only four members, yet have parties where dozens upon dozens attend - and yet they "rush" only one candidate?

The "best" thing about this film is its blatent homoerotic overtones. There's a particularly cheesy scene in which one vampire helps his novice drink blood from a girl's arm...from the camera angle, for all practical purposes, it looks as if one guy is having oral sex with the other. And the guys seem to hang all over each other and walk around half naked in front of each other for no reason at all. I think this had to have been scripted, shot, directed, or lensed by either a woman or a gay male because it is just "too" much.

I'd like to find out how to become a filmmaker of this caliber because it seems like there is some sort of market for this trash. However, I would imagine that it is probably just as difficult to make a film like this as it would be to make a good one - so why not go the extra mile?