The Brotherhood

Wow, this movie is even gayer than "HellBent"! What are the odds of that ever happening? I don't think David DeCoteau ever had the intention of making a horror movie… He clearly just wanted to surround himself with athletic & handsome twenty-something boys, so he quickly thought up a scenario about a college fraternity of vampires. Instead of action & suspense, we get an whole army of male students parading in their matching tight white boxer shorts and instead of gory massacres we get insecure boys openly talking about their feelings and emotions…for hours! Two young losers meet each other on the first day of college. Chris has the body of a regular jock, but he's the sensitive type, so he doesn't want people to judge him based on his appearance. The other one, Dan, never stops nagging about how unpopular he was in his previous school. They befriend a girl with an incredibly beautiful rack; still all they ever talk about is their mutual friendship. In come the boys of the Domo Tau Omega fraternity; pretentious little pricks with sunglasses that rule over the university. Their leader – super gay dude Devon – wants Chris to join his elite group because he fancies him. Poor Chris doesn't know, however, that they form the gayest coven of vampires horror cinema has ever brought forward. "The Brotherhood" is a terrible film. There's not even an attempt to build up tension or atmosphere and DeCoteau didn't even bother to insert some cheesy horror effects. The vampires suck, all right. But not blood… They suck at making themselves appear menacing and evil. The dialogs are abysmal and the production values are overall poor, barely disguising the fact that our director is more interested in shooting porn movies. Or maybe put together catalogs for men's underwear. He should do so, and quit misleading fans of horror films. The cast members may be yummy eye-candy (at least, for certain target groups), but none of them has the slightest bit of acting talent. One to avoid at all costs.

No, this is not Male Model University, but judging by the student body you need to look like one to attend. It's apparent you need a muscular physique, perfectly gelled hair and tight leather duds just to take a stroll around campus. At parties, name drop Nietzsche and make sure you wear a fine suit and tie so you have something nice to puke all over. Never button up your top three buttons, hang out in juvenile high schoolish cliques and always wear shades. No, this thing isn't set on Mars, but close enough: it's set in the minds of horny skeezers David DeCoteau and scripter Matthew Jason Walsh, so any resemblance between this and any real college campus is strictly coincidental.

Oh yeah, the so-called plot... Hunky freshman stud-ent Christopher Chandler (Nathan Watkins) is anti-frat, but still wooed by the most popular house on campus. I mean, aren't Devon, Barry, Jordan and Mikhael the type of dudes everyone wants to hang with? No, not really. They're conceited, shallow, boring, and stupid, they throw lame parties and they drink blood to stay young and desirable. Go figure.

DeCoteau began his career exploiting the bods of B-babes like Linnea Quigley and Brinke Stevens and now he's switched to men's bodies, which is completely fair in our more enlightened age. Men deserve to be treated like meat, too, but it's too bad these talent-dry bonehead boy toys ACT like meat. You'd be hard pressed to find more lifeless, listless performances (particularly Bradley Stryker as the main bad guy) but hell, they DO look great in their matching boxer briefs. Save yourself the time and skim through a Calvin Klein catalogue instead. And this thing merits a pair of sequels?!

You get: a Male exploitation film. The director 's (who must be gay) camera lingers on the hunky boy's butt repeatedly. His camera lingers on the head frat boy's face as he watches the Hunky Boy move, walk bend over and run. Frat Boy smiles and his eyes glow with desire as he peers at the Hunky boy who's a swimmer and has a dorky friend who makes several references to the fast relationship between Hunky boy and Frat boy. As a matter of fact the level of homo erotic references permeates the film. Like there's no reason in the world that all the boys have to be in their under wear for the final ritual, with major crotch attention and butt close-ups -- just like all those films in the 70s/80s of girls half dressed running from danger we now have a sexy stud in his boxer briefs with a vampire breathing down his neck. Just dumb fun and hot sexy guys!!

I totally agree with the other person who wrote up this movie--seriously the worst movie ever made. I have seen some terrible movies but this "horror" flick was such a laugh...my friends and I literally laughed through it. Do not ever see it! I can't believe they made not one but two sequels to this piece of garbage.

Doma Tau Omega is an exclusive fraternity whose privileged members drink blood in order to preserve their youthful good looks. When their hunky leader Devon claps eyes on the firm, muscular frame of innocent college newcomer Chris Chandler (Sam Page), he sets about recruiting the handsome freshman, tempting him with the promise of eternal life, but secretly schemes to enter the young man's body (spiritually speaking, although one could easily be mistaken for thinking otherwise at times) in order to replace his current corporeal form.

Vampire films have long been linked with homo-eroticism, but rarely has the theme been so blatant as in David DeCoteau's I've Been Watching You, a horror film that oozes gayness from virtually every frame. With scene after scene of young men gazing wistfully at each other, exchanging bodily fluid (only blood, thank heavens!), parading around in silky shirts, rubber vests and tight PVC trousers, and stripping to their Calvins, this wasn't quite what I had in mind when I spied the DVD, which caught my eye because of the beautiful buxom woman on the cover: there is a hot chick in the film, Megan (Elizabeth Bruderman), but she doesn't show any cleavage, the only exposed chest area on display belonging to the guys.

Although clearly intended for a different demographic to myself, I would still rate this film as much as a four: it wasn't totally unwatchable, the hilarious homo-erotic content, diabolical dialogue, and crappy acting providing me with a more than a few unintentional laughs (the frat guys' atrocious taste in clothing is particularly amusing!).