Crossroads

With the exception of DOCTOR WHO any television show that has its format changed is bound to fail . The original series of CROSSROADS worked because it was total garbage . On its return it's obvious the producers wanted it to be a big success by making it appeal to a teenage audience by sexing it up - Big mistake . Take for example the idea of a Scottish chef in the motel kitchen . In the original it was a Scottish chef who was - Depending on how the writers felt that day - either a wimp or a bitter sociopath . In the new version we're treated to a hunk from Scotland who's a real smoothie and in one episode saves a damsel in distress from a burning derelict church

Despite this spicing up the show I think the only attractive cast member was ( Non ) actress Cindy Marshall-Day who played drunken slapper Tracey Booth and naturally playing that sort of role she got all the best lines like this line she says to one of her Asian staff :

" Beena - Been a round more like "

Being a complete slut Mrs Booth was the catalyst for a domestic subplot where her husband has to explain to her son in a sensitive manner that Mummy and Daddy don't love one another any more :

"I'm thirteen y'know not three " moans the son who's played by a child actor so bad it's impossible to believe he's even had a walk on part in a school pantomime and gives the only performance that comes close to being so bad it's good

This new version of CROSSROADS was met by small viewing figures that just got worse and worse so in order to save it the producers went back to basics and included more and more outlandish plots in order to make it appeal to fans of schlock television . We saw Adam Chance return as a homicidal maniac but the writing was on the wall and the show was cancelled with the ending being on a par with someone waking up and discovering it had all been a bad dream . The reality was it was more of a bad idea than a bad dream

The New Crossroads is a cracker of a soap to watch. It has inherited all the stigma of the original series but you don't need to have seen that to be able to follow this.

The media is none too happy with this production but then that's their job to pick faults. But if you like this production you'll ignore what they say anyway.

Plotwise is nothing we haven't seen before albeit the inclusion of a gay couple which was groundbreaking for a lunchtime soap. They have now split up and one has moved away, bit of a wasted opportunity really.

The only real trouble is that some storylines will just drag on for weeks and weeks going nowhere storyline wise. Some talent in certain actors/actresses is just totally wasted because they only have minor storylines.

However, brave attempt by Carlton to make the show like it is and it really works, it's good and fun to watch. Constantly hounded by rumours of an axing (mainly from non Crossroads fans it has to be said) which doesn't help.

Crossroads dared to be different. Whereas the 2001/2002 series was pretty standard fare the 2003 series was fantastically daft and surreal. Where else would you get character names such as "Angel Samson" and "Valentine Startwood"?

Crossroads was a welcome break from the normality of British soaps. It had glamour, sex, singing and the wonderfully sinister Ethan Black all at tea time. No main character was killed off (the exceptions being three guest stars) and near the end the characters were really starting to become developed.

A soap cannot be judged on 8 weeks like Crossroads was. People say that the 2003 series was it's final chance but it was a totally different kettle of fish to the old Crossroads and shouldn't have been seen as the same.

The ending however was fantastic. There were so many digs at ITV and the cast sent themselves up wonderfully. Oona and Dave as the owners of "Stocks Superstore" is the funniest thing I've seen this year.

Crossroads shall be missed by all that wanted escapism from the monotony of normal soaps.

Dallas's shower scene showed us that we dream in colour, Crossroads' finale told us that Jane Asher dreams at lightspeed: she got through the whole 5 months of the Hotel saga down in a blink.

Using the tried and tested Dallas dream trick, Crossroads bowed out with Angela (Jane Asher) realising her life as vampish hotel owner Angel Samson was a dream. The reality was that she crimped her hair, spoke with a Brummie accent and worked on a supermarket checkout, with former nemesis and sometimes friend Kate Russell as her co-worker.

As gag endings go, St. Elsewhere's was classier and Sledge Hammer's much funnier, but neither could touch this for the number of accents attempted. I actually lost count of how many accents were represented in the supermarket.

Most of the regular characters made appearances in the supermarket. Battleaxe Hotel receptionist Virginia became a battleaxe checkout supervisor married to Security Guard Rocky Wesson. Betty Waddell became a (geographically non-specific) customer in love with Rocky (I ask you!?!?). Thrusting American Businessman Max Samson was transformed into a lager and crisp buying American scruff, while the Samson twins, Ryan and Jimmy, had their roles reversed, with 'sex god' Ryan turned into a total geek, and former geek Jimmy becoming a Cockney sex toy for the Wise sisters (Phil, Lola and Belle). Even camp gay chef Vince underwent a total transformation to a Brummie layabout married to a shell suit wearing Helen Raven.

Perhaps the clumsiest joke was Tracy Boothe, going from booze hound Bar Manager to the alcoholic star of a TV show called, yes, you guessed it..... 'Crossroads'

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All Costs

Only six months into the new re-vamped Crossroads,and rumor is already starting to spread of a potential axing.Well,to be honest,this is not really surprising.As high hopes as anyone might have had for this new edition , it's really just not up to scratch.The main problem being the acting:it is , whatever way you look at it, wooden.Everyone involved simply reads their lines out as blankly and dully as you can imagine,so that they sound almost like cyborgs.The stories are rather cliched and predictable,with love triangles,high stakes and adversity being mainly on the agenda.And it is so hard to believe that all this could be going on under the roof of a hotel.Worth watching,but certainly only as something to glance at while eating your snack.**