Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker!

As a man who LOVES the inept film Children of the Living Dead, I was stunned by just how horrid this 'film' is. This videotape can only possibly be enjoyed by the cast of retarded amateurs whose names populate the credits.

Nothing Troma has done has EVER been this worthless. Never purchase, rent, or even download this videotape.

I must fill out a few more lines to submit this, and with the videotape still in mind I now submit these lines:

nose breathing is not funny.

not editing out the director's voice is not funny.

whacky hair is not funny.

everything in this videotape that people spent time on is not funny

This has got to be one of the most horrible movies ever made. It ranks right up there with Godfather Part III. The acting was abysmal, the writing was marginal at best, and the film itself was overall poorly made and maddening to watch. If it were any longer it could be used as a torture device. Do yourselves a favor, DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE, waste 45 minutes of your life on something more meaningful like twiddling your thumbs or twirling around in your office chair on your lunch break. Please don't give these people any more of your hard earned dollars. People who have nothing better to do with their time than make crappy movies and subject the unwitting public to them should be permanently banned from interaction with society.

I'd read the reviews here and most of them do mention that this has low production values but saying this really doesn't capture the atrocity of Mulva.

This has obviously been filmed on video with some scenes even showing what looks like magnetic interference on the tape. The sound is mostly location recorded and is usually unintelligible... this isn't helped by the fact the main character speaks with a terrible lisp throughout. Everyone else shouts to try and be picked up by the camcorder mic and sound distorted. There is little to no lighting work and the camera appears to be hand held most of the time.

Now I realise this is low budget ($2000 I read somewhere) and the production company even call themselves low budget productions but as they are obviously aware that this looks like the cheapest trash ever I'd have hoped they'd try to use skill and talent to counter some of their limitations. Instead they frequently lampoon the state of their production values, lack of actor talent and ludicrous script. I'm sure the people making it thought this was hilarious and indeed this is exactly the sort of film Id make if I had a bunch of mates with loads of free time and a camcorder. However I'd never subject others to it, let alone distribute it on dvd.

I can only assume that the other reviewers here are connoisseurs of extremely low budget film and knew what to expect in terms of production values and took the film purely on content value. I'll admit I did find myself laughing at some of the genre humor but it mostly felt forced with purposely overlong dialogue("I'm going to go as Egon Spengler from the 1984 film ghost busters as portrayed brilliantly by actor and writer Harold Ramis"). If delivered faultlessly this could be funny but as it was next to unintelligible due to bad sound, a lisp and an actress tripping over her lines, I felt more like crying than laughing.

In the end I felt ultimately cheated and I think anyone who expects even the most basic elements of filmmaking skill will do to.

I have seen A LOT of bad movies. I watch them on a regular basis and even some of the really bad ones, I can get through-ones that Mystery Sceince Theater 3000 wouldn't even touch. This is bar none the worst "movie" ever made. I use the term movie loosely in this case because it is more like a group of friends that got together and made a video, but sure enough it has some Troma in it. Even if you like the mindless Troma stuff, this one will make you wince in pain. It IS that bad!! The cover has Lilith Stabs on it (a hot goth/punk type girl of Bad Movie Police fame) in a little outfit with a huge gun. Very misleading. She is NOT in the movie and there are no gun toting babes gunning down zombies. Instead you get to watch an ugly chick with a chocolate stained face annoy the hell out of you with over eccentric bad acting and lisp. The imitation Cosby/Don King character-Bonejack-is something you would laugh at if it were your friend, otherwise it is just lame. The filmmakers felt free to make plenty of inside jokes (the reappearing ice cream poster in tons of shots) without letting the audience in on their little jokes. If this can truly be called a movie versus just a video that some idiots threw together, then yes. This is THE worst movie I have ever seen. It even beats out the Tempe classics such as Humanoids from Atlantis and Robot Ninja. At least with James L Edwards you know what you are getting into. I wonder how many suckers fell for the false advertising on the box cover. Well live and learn the old "You can't judge a book by its cover". Well Mulva didn't kick any zombie ass-but this movie sure kicked mine.

I was roped into this travesty because... 1) I enjoy zombie films 2) I usually enjoy both Debbie Rochon and Trent Haaga and 3) For some reason I still think there's hope out there for Full Moon, who have lost most of my respect over the years with a succession of incredibly bad releases.

This is easily the most appalling release from Full Moon yet. Words cannot express how lousy (and irritating) this load of excrement is. Frankly, it's insulting that it received ANY kind of release and that anyone has to be tricked into suffering through someone else's home movie. I could even forgive the nonexistent budget, amateurism and awful make-up if there was something else of merit going on here (no such luck!). What I cannot forgive is the completely unfunny 'script' (granted it had one), the migraine-inducing overacting and the pitiful name dropping at each and every turn (I could list fifty other major annoyances, but I won't...) Chris Seaver has absolutely no discernible talent, but HE obviously disagrees with me. Listen to the commentary track and you'll hear the rantings of one of the most misguided, idiotic and delusional people on the planet. He seems to fancy himself as such an original talent. So Chris, I'm glad you find yourself to be so very witty and talented. I found you to be a smug, annoying, juvenile and irrelevant moron whose only possible fan base would have to consist of not-so-bright 10 year olds or someone borderline retarded.

But anyway, since you seem to be such a big fan of yourself and your own work, maybe YOU should keep your crappy movies to yourself, eh? 1/10 (If there was a zero, this 'film' would get it)