L.A.P.D.: To Protect and to Serve

A disgrace trying to be a mirror of the L.A.P.D. A few aging stars coasting through a terrible script. Dirty cops wanting to turn against other dirty cops. Cops that don't want to be cops. Unrealistic, over-kill on the gun fire. Front line cast is made up of: Dennis Hopper, Michael Madsen, Marc Singer and Charles Durning. A glimmer of promise from Kiara Hunter, Carolyn Dunn and Brenda Campbell. This movie can serve as background noise while passing around the party dip and refilling the cold refreshments. I guess there is no law for bad acting. Even the simulated sex is terrible.

It never fails to amaze me that even with a good cast, big enough budget, ok theme, producers and directors can churn out second rate rubbish like this. even the actors at the end of the movie must be thinking "six guys ten feet apart firing hundreds of shots at each other and it takes a full minute before one hits it's mark"

The worst movie ever,Even Howard the Duck was a masterpiece compared to this tax shelter. Ed Anders and anyone associated with this piece,should goto every video store and buy all the copies so there is no trace they worked on it. Ed,you should of put the director as Alan Smitty.You must be ashamed,i am for you,and we have never met. This has the production value of a well budgeted porno,and acting to match. I want my life back!!!

Rent this film...now! This is ineptness at its most sublime, a turd of a straight-to-video flick that is so bad you'll swear the filmmakers tried to make it as crappy as possible. The box cover shows Dennis Hopper (who is in the "film" for about 5 minutes...he must have needed some money...bad) and Michael Madsen (who wears a police shirt far too small for him...I guess they couldn't afford a plus-size cop shirt from the local surplus) and completely ignores the two lead actors. There's some plotline about corrupt cops and such but who cares? Just sit back and laugh at: The big old fat dude getting "hit" in the face with the stock of a shotgun (despite the fact that the gun is about ten feet away from the guy), the old homeless dude getting hit by a car while "sad" music plays on the soundtrack (isn't there a better way to kill someone?), Michael Madsen swinging his arms around rapidly whenever he talks (you know when someone tucks their arms behind their back and someone behind them does overdone hand motions trying to simulate the movements of their arms? That's what this looks like to the tenth degree) and finally (and this is the best part!) the police officer having the wildest orgasms ever (I swear this guy overdoes his orgasms more than any porn actress I've ever seen...I mean the way the guy's face contorts and distorts he looks like someone's knifing him in the back...and all this while his lover just sits there...seemingly bored).

Anycrap, if you love bad films see this one. It'll be some of the best fun you've ever had in your short life.

I'm embarrassed to say I even hesitated to change the channel when this...hell I don't know what to call it, it doesn't deserve to be called a movie. I hate to knock on any movie because I know how hard it must be to get a movie made, but the idea that anything people must have worked so hard on could turn out to be this bad is both depressing and frightening. I've never actually hated a movie, but this one comes awful close, the only reason I rated it a one is because I could not rate it any lower.