Beneath Loch Ness

This had to be one of the biggest wastes of celluloid of all time(next to that Blair Witch thing). Blockbuster should be made to refund the money of those who thought they were renting a movie. The same, old plot devices were used (i.e. the idiot mayor/constable refusing to close the beach/loch at the height of tourist season, a smaller animal caught that was not the right one, the crusty old sea captain/fisherman with a score to settle ). I swear, I think someone even used the phrase "this was no boating accident". If Speilburg and Blatty didn't sue these guys for blatant plagerism and or copyright infringment, they should have. On the suck scale of one to five vacumn cleaners,(5 being the worst), this gets a seven.

I was so excited to see this video at Blockbuster. Having visited Loch Ness and loving monster stories, I was looking forward to seeing scenes of Scotland (blink and you miss them), hearing Scottish accents (terrible), and enjoying a campy monster movie (strike three - you're out). I found the portrayal of the local Scots to be totally insulting. The movie wasn't campy, just bad. Obviously a play-by-play rip off of JAWS.

I would be willing to watch it again if I were with the same friends who studied in Scotland with me and we were rip-roaring drunk. That way we could make fun of it together.

I had my doubts about this but as my young son is a 'monster' buff I decided to rent it.

Where to begin? With the plot elements lifted from other, better sources: Jaws, Jurassic Park, even a bit of Moby Dick found its way in there. Maybe with the rent-a-cliche characters: maverick scientist; career-driven ex-wife of maverick scientist (called 'Lizzie Borden'? - puh-lease!); obnoxious local official who refuses to take dire warnings seriously (Constable Connaghy - did they audition this guy before they got him to play a Highlander?). Not to mention the endlessly repeated graphic of the 'monster' swimming towards us.

Factual errors and misconceptions are too tiresome to list.

At the risk of spoiling anyone's enjoyment of this cinematic feast: the sight of Patrick Bergin rigged out in kilt and Braveheart-style war-paint, going out to battle the monster armed with a harpoon is one that will linger long in my memory (unfortunately).

I should add that my son enjoyed it so that may be an indication of its appeal.

This was easily one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Forget the fact that the storyline was absolutly pathetic, the acting was ten times worse! How about those accents? Whatever they were, they certainly were not Scottish. The special effects were equally terrible, espcially the "underwater" shots, which look like they were made in an ordinary dark, smokey room. If you have yet to see this film, do yourself a favor and do not even consider renting it. For the unfortunate ones out there who have seen this, I feel your pain.

Obviously even the likes of Patrick Bergen and Lysette Anthony have mortgages and bills to pay. It's sad to see even slightly recognisable personnel in such an abysmal production. I can only assume that they fired the person responsible for continuity, as there are more holes in this picture than a dartboard.

Its set in a Scotland where:-

People speak in American, Irish, English, and probably Punjabi accents- but not Scottish.

The loch Ness monster looks like something from a game on the commodore 64

People drive American 4x4 vehicles on the wrong side of the road

The police wear American uniforms

You can use American dollars in the local shops and pubs

etc., etc. - the list goes on.

Indeed, this is a pathetic and insulting offering, with "Scotsmen" stereotyped that I am surprised the casting department didn't hire Russ Abbott to do his mad Scotsman impersonation.