No Such Thing

The plot of No Such Thing is the kind that dreams are often made of, it is weird yet it has something in the way of a narrative.

Sarah Polley flies to Iceland in search of her missing fiancée only to discover beast dressed in a 17th century outfit, drinking his life away from depression. He wants to die, but he cannot, because he is indescribable. The forces of man's world cannot harm him. Polley, offers to help him by brining him back to civilization. They are searching for a famed doctor who has managed to manipulate the law of physics to create a force that 'may' be strong enough to break this unbreakable monster, but first, the monster has to clean up his act.

I have always liked Sarah Polley, I think that was why I was drawn to this film. The idea was intriguing, and the film certainly is, but that does not necisarily make it good. No Such thing has no such idea of what it wants to be. Sometimes it is happy, sometimes sad, sometimes cute and sometimes grim. One thing that is consistent is it's inconstancy.

Perhaps the best way to look at No Such Thing would be to call it a twisted take on Beauty and the Beast. Even if watched this approach, it is not so easy to fall in love with the movie. Polley and her large warty co star make a poor screen couple, and they have very little to say to each other. The screenplay is mostly dialogue for the sake of dialogue.

The film keeps you going, so I wouldn't call it disappointing, but the climax is way too short and contrived, and it is followed by an almost non existent ending. It the kind that wakes you wanna ask, 'What was this all about?'

I would imagine most people who have viewed No Such Thing have asked that very question when it ended. If you wanna join the list be my guest. For better or worse, it is a very weird tale.

No Such Thing (2002) was my first Hal Hartley's movie. Checking its site on Netflix when I ordered the DVD, I was intrigued by the viewers' reviews on the very first page that differ from one star to four, and by the Top 10 Lists of the viewers who had seen the film already. The lists included "Independent does not mean good", "Don't Waste Your Stamp", and the most sincere "What the heck am I watching?" I knew that I was going to see a different, controversial, and interesting movie. After I saw it, I was very impressed. I know that I will look for more Hartley's works.

As far as the story goes, like many directors before and after him Hal Hartley re-tells the old but immortal legend of Beauty and the Beast which is set in the modern, post 9/11 (even though the movie was made before September 11, 2001) world. The film is worth watching for many reasons. First, it is visually beautiful and poetic especially the scenes shot in Iceland, mysterious far-away country. It did not surprise me that the monster made the remote Iceland his residence. Second, the music score that Hartley wrote himself was appropriately gripping and disturbing. Third (and very important for me), any movie that would place in one scene two of the greatest actresses of older generation, Helen Mirren and Julie Christie, and young but enormously talented and charismatic Sarah Polley and let them do the magic of acting together, is a remarkable movie in my book. And the last one, it is the interesting and compelling, satiric and biting retelling of Beauty and the Beast dropped against the frenzy of the modern media hunger for sensations at the time when terrorism is omnipresent. The film explores the nature of the beast in original, ironic, and clever manner. I guess I can call it a Hartley way. The bitter, cruel, deadly tired from eternal insomnia and scornful (quite often for good reasons) to human race monster as played by Robert John Burke, is sarcastic, scary, observant and strangely sympathetic. I would recommend the film and I am sure in case of No Such Thing, independent does mean good.

As individuals, or collectively as a society, what is it, exactly, that we are afraid of? Since the beginning of time, what has really been behind all those knee-jerk reactions that have brought us to where we are today? These are the questions posed (and answered) by writer/director Hal Hartley in `No Such Thing,' an often biting satire of the news media, the all-to-prevalent-in-our-society tabloid-type mentality and our response to the unknown, be it tangible or imaginary; a film that brings us face to face with fear and confronts it with humor, pathos and Hartley's own insightful and inimitable take on the human condition.

Some time after a three-man television news team disappears after being sent to Iceland to investigate reports of a `monster' living on a rock island just off the coast, the station receives a tape recording from someone claiming to be the monster himself, describing in graphic detail what he did with those dispatched to find and film him. `The Boss (Helen Mirren)' of the news department, in her quest to give the public the `worst news' possible, agrees to send another employee, Beatrice (Sarah Polley), to Iceland to follow up on it, since Beatrice was engaged to the cameraman of the crew gone missing.

After a temporary delay due to circumstances beyond her control, Beatrice finally makes it to Iceland, where she has to trek to a remote village on the coast (the final leg of which she has to walk, as even horses can't make it through). Once there, the locals tell their tales of the `monster,' who has apparently always been with them, and point out to her the rock upon which he is purported to live. And Beatrice finds herself at the point of no return; she has come this far, and now it's just a matter of getting some help from the villagers to get her across the channel to the rock-- and her encounter with this monster who is `changeless and eternal.'

As no one else can, Hal Hartley has crafted and delivered a film that is part `Beauty and the Beast,' part `Frankenstein,' part `Forbidden Planet,' and ALL Hartley. Unlike most films featuring a `monster,' Hartley does not keep his audience in suspense, but reveals his `man/beast' at the very beginning, as we see him making the tape he subsequently sends to the T.V. station. And he's an ugly spud (credit goes to Mark Rappaport for special effects makeup), unique among all of the monsters in cinematic history. Hartley's creation affects a John Wayne countenance, drinks too much and speaks perfect English (how this can be so is ultimately revealed). Hartley then layers one unexpected event upon another, using black comedy to present a scathing social commentary, incisively composed through his keen insights into human nature. The allegory of the tale is concealed in who this monster really is, and what he wants, and it brings to mind Dr. Morbius and the secrets of the Krell.

Absent in this film is the trademark cadence Hartley generally has his actors employ through a very deliberate delivery of their lines, and it is missed, as it is one of the elements that makes his films so engaging, creating as it does a fairly hypnotic effect (similar to the method employed by David Mamet in his films). Still, the Hartley magic is alive and well, and by keeping his volatile monster front and center throughout the film, rather than as a mysterious entity hidden in the shadows to whom he merely alludes, he succeeds in keeping his audience totally involved. Hartley is also a master of `thinking outside the box,' which enables him to offer entirely unique perspectives on the human condition and this thing we call `life'; you never know where he's going to take you, which is another reason why his films are so engaging (as this one certainly is). He knows how to make that all-important connection with his audience, but he chooses to do it indirectly, offering thought-provoking scenarios in a way that gives his viewer the option of coming on board or standing by while the ship sails; a kind of `you can lead a horse to water,' proposition that most filmmakers would not have the courage to employ. Keep in mind, though, that once you hit the deck with Hartley, the rewards are many and great.

Working with Hartley for the first time, Sarah Polley proves to be a quick study in all things Hartley; in creating Beatrice, she demonstrates an innate grasp of his methods, and most importantly, what it is he is attempting to accomplish through his characters. And this has to be a challenge to any actor; just as not every actor can work with Woody Allen because of his approach, it would seemingly be difficult with Hartley because of his unique perspectives. Whatever the case may be, Polley succeeds splendidly, presenting a convincing character who is decidedly all `Hartley.'

Helen Mirren, too, demonstrates her versatility and consummate professionalism by falling into Hartley's rhythms with apparent facility. The role of `The Boss' is something of a departure for Mirren, but she immerses herself in the character with gusto and makes The Boss believable. And she seems to be enjoying herself immensely in doing so. A terrific actor, she's a joy to watch in this one.

As the monster, Hartley regular Robert John Burke steals the show by creating a monster that is so stunningly atypical; this beast has a fearless swagger and the wisdom of millennia to back it up. Burke readily conveys his disdain for human beings with terms and a tone that fairly drips with cynicism, and it is in his portrayal that we find both the real humor and the pathos of the film.

The supporting cast includes Baltasar Kormakur (Artaud), Julie Christie (Dr. Anna) and Stacy Dawson (Mugger). Off-beat and entertaining, `No Such Thing' is a unique experience that is going to make you think a bit. 9/10.

Luckily, I stumbled upon this movie on the SUNDANCE channel. Having NEVER heard of it and only stopping to watch it because I caught it at the beginning and figured I'd give it a look. I kept switching back to the INFO button and was very curious to see how I was watching a movie about a MONSTER when cinematographically it looked like a dramatic independent film...As I kept watching, I became more engrossed in this film as it wasn't heading where I expected...I'm usually good at pinpointing the basics of where the movie will go...About 3/4 of the way through I figured it was another take on "Beauty and the Beast" but it STILL ended up surprising me...I won't say more so I don't give away the CINEMATIC RIDE I so thankfully happened upon. SUPERB DIRECTION AND ACTING! Robert John Burke (the Monster) and Sarah Polley delivered wonderfully believable performances! TWO THUMBS WAY UP for the surprising CREATIVITY of all involved!

NO SUCH THING (3 outta 5 stars) A weird kind of project for indy art movie writer/director Hal Hartley... a modern day version of "Beauty and the Beast". A heavily made-up Robert John Burke is "The Beast", a near-immortal monster living as far from humanity as he can. Unfortunately, people still keep seeking him out, causing him to respond with violence. All he really wants is the peace of death... and when pretty, young reporter Sarah Polley is taken to him as a sort of sacrifice he offers to spare her life if she'll help him find a missing scientist who may be able to grant him his fondest wish. The movie starts out well... the monster gets some funny, earthy dialogue and the tentative relationship with "The Beauty" doesn't seem too forced. Towards the end, however, the story seems to fall apart a bit... becoming less believable and a little unfocused. The movie concludes in grand "art movie" style... with a series of arty crosscuts and fades that look very stylish... but don't really bring things to a satisfying close.