थर्टीन घोस्टस

'Thir13en Ghosts' is a movie with lots of flashing images and loud sounds. Most of the time that is a little annoying, although there are moments it adds something to the scary events that happen. I am not a big fan of the horror-genre, although I can appreciate it when it is done good. Here you have no real story, but there are some real scares. Since it is about ghosts those things can turn up anytime and anywhere. One of the characters even explains that "they like to do that".

To explain the story would be quite pointless. What I can say is that a family without a mother but including dad Arthur (Tony Shalhboub), daughter Kathy (Shannon Elizabeth), son Bobby (Alec Roberts) and nanny Maggie (Rah Digga) inherits a strange house, created by their uncle Cyrus (F. Murray Abraham). We learn that Cyrus was a ghost hunter, of course with a purpose and a thirteenth ghost as the answer to a mystery, and that twelve ghosts are locked in the basement of the house. Two other characters are in the house as well. Dennis (Matthew Lillard) who sees future and past when he touches people and who used to work with Cyrus, and an opponent of Cyrus named Kalina (Embeth Davidtz). When the ghosts are unleashed they have to save themselves.

I realize I actually have told you the story, but that is not what this movie is about. What makes it at least interesting is the visual style of the movie. The house looks great, the effects and art direction are very admirable. That there is hardly time to notice that is a shame. The scares might be stupid but they work enough to make this a real horror movie. Yes, there are many flaws and things go terribly wrong near the end, but if you normally like these kind of movies, you must be able to enjoy 'Thir13en Ghosts'.

It doesn't rely on too much splatter and it doesn't try to startle you out of your seat every two minutes so that immediately makes it better than the average horror flick. The ghosts were unusual enough to be memorable and there was not a lot of familiarity to the plot. This was very nearly an excellent film with a solid cast and very good effects. Five or ten more minutes of scary interaction between the ghosts and the children(if you can call Shannon Elizabeth a child) would have made the movie much better. I call it a near miss which is as good as most horror fils can aspire to.

The only problem i found about "Thirteen Ghosts" is that it is not scary. It has the elements to be a horror movie, the ghosts, the gore, but it is not frightening at all.

So this film can be a real party pooper if you're watching it with the lights off at your girlfriend's house waiting for her to grab your arm through the hard scenes, or expect to enjoy having some nightmares about it. But, omitting that--yeah, i know it's hard to omit that a movie labeled as "horror" is not scary--, i judge it as a very interesting film. The production design is great; the glass house is a state of the art, away from your typical haunted house, looking both luxurious and somehow creepy at the same time. That innovation, carried out with such a splendid result, is worth my applause. So is the decision to make the ghosts be real actors in the set, not digital freaks. Human monsters, even if having to go through 4+ hours of make-up sessions, even if having to use a double amputee actor to play a particular ghost, are the film's best trump card. There are good ideas in this film, and they're very well developed. It doesn't deserve a bad score.

"Thir13en Ghosts" does have a certain charm, if only for its silliness. Maybe there's nothing particularly special about a visual effects-laden movie in which a family inherits a haunted house, but the movie definitely has its moments, namely when the lawyer "splits". Tony Shalhoub, Embeth Davidtz, Matthew Lillard, Shannon Elizabeth, Alec Roberts, Rah Digga and F. Murray Abraham are all able to turn in neat performances, even if the whole movie is pretty outlandish. I would recommend the original version more, but this one isn't bad. Perhaps its little more than a way to pass time, but a cool one at that. Acceptable for what it is.

As I've said so many times before...people, this is just a movie. It is not intended to make deep social comment; it is not meant to reflect reality; the characters are not obligated to exercise good judgment; the fact that this movie is supposed to be "based on" the earlier version is not really relevant; and it ought to be possible to be entertained by a movie without necessarily feeling genuinely scared.

I find this to be a very entertaining movie. Good special effects, decent acting, lots of action, neat props and mechanicals, and some unique ghosts make this a lot of fun. Was I scared? No. I was startled sometimes, but not scared.

So what IS wrong with this movie? Well, I'm back to my usual gripe about action movies. There's a point in the film where one character says to three other characters, "Stay right here until I get back. Don't touch anything." Without going into detail, let me simply state the obvious: the other characters don't obey him and the results are not good. This is always a big turn-off to me, because the people who disobey almost always end up getting out safely, while other people die for their mistakes. In another film, for example, a family in the Federal witness protection program is told not to contact their old friends. The daughter, however, can't live without calling her boyfriend at least once. The bad guys intercept the phone call, show up at the "safe house," and end up killing several US Marshals. Of course, the daughter is oblivious to the damage she has caused and goes on to live happily ever after. Just once I'd like to see the survivors turn to the person who was reckless and say, "That was all your fault!" and blow the person away in a hail of lead.

Now, back to THIS film. I recommend it if you enjoy over-the-top horror/action films, but not if you are looking for some sort of psychological thriller or a moody mystery. If you liked "Dog Soldiers" and "An American Werewolf in London," then you should like this movie.

*** out of ****