The Yakuza Way

Let me tell you something, I liked this piece of crap. Why? I don't know. The acting is utterly trying and embarrassingly failing (expect Riki), the story is ultimately lacking in originality and the action is bad ass but in the most retarded way. They would try to make these action sequences stylish and appealing and they end up looking stupid. So why do I like this fat and hairy zit covered ass? Riki Takuichi, b!+(#. He is my Japanese Charles Bronson. Without him this film would be a -100. In all seriousness, it's a horrible movie with horrible everything but the presence of Riki somehow, miraculously, kept this from sheer abysmal herpe infested idiosy. For Riki fans only at best.

From the opening to the ending, bad acting, bad directing, bad story. The star of this picture was pretty good, but so much of the cast were acting on the level of school play.

There is a lot of action, but much of it suffers believability, well, as does much of the movie too! My favorite cheap stunt is the man being hit by the car. It starts with a bad guy pulling out his gun, the lead actor hearing it and spinning around while pulling his gun out, somehow a Geo Metro approaching from out of frame at 5 miles per hour 'crashes' in to the bad guy, which of course shatters the windshield.

Nothing says action done wrong more than this film. This film's best use is an example of what not to do for anyone who wants to make their own action movie. I did appreciate the directors leg and foot focus which appears at the establishing shots of any scene with a female in it.

OK - I bought the DVD because it was only 3.99 in the January sales and because it starred Riki Takeuchi. I feel I was robbed - this film is one of the worst I have ever seen. The actors (I use that word advisedly) are dreadful; the dialogue is sparse and stupid and the film is padded out with endless shots of cars driving past and shots of streets from the driver's point of view. The final showdown is laughable as Riki runs out of bullets and the bad cop doesn't shoot Riki (although he has a loaded gun) and just lets Riki run about 20 yards towards him with a sword and impales him on the front gates. I see from this database that the director Shundo Ohkawa went on to make two other films. How does such lack of talent get to make so many movies? Stay well away from this pile of poo.

Seriously . . . why would you really watch this movie? If you aren't a fan of Riki Takeuchi, this movie will make your head spin with it's apparent suckitude. However, as a Riki Takeuchi movie that features him speaking English and shooting up Los Angeles, it's a seriously awesome flick. Basically, it's a terrible 80s-style action movie. The production values, over-the-top action, and ridiculous plot would have been de rigeur in 1986. But being a late-90s movie, it's even sillier. The cheese is laid on thick, but not unintentionally. It's very tongue-in-cheek in a way. Takeuchi's performance is strong, as usual, even given the crappy trappings. He sneers, shows off his coiffed doo, and impales people on katanas - all bases covered. And there's a Chevy Nova SS for no reason! And it's pee-yellow - where else are you going to see that?

The best example of cliche ridden "rules of action cinema" catch all coverage with more cliches thrown in to boot. For example, the Japanese speak English when no one is around to overhear. The token strip joint. The filler footage that doesn't support mood, story or entertainment value. The back story of dead loves lost and revenge owed to pretty much everyone anyone seems to encounter anywhere. This film is so wonderfully god awful, like Dukes of Hazard with Yakuza in LA, I'm lead to believe that York Entertainment may transcend even the likes of Full Moon and Troma for attaining levels of sheer cheese. Too bad York Entertainment didn't see fit to include gore or booty to make up for the deep hurting their product otherwise supplies.