Son of the Beach

Son of the Beach follows the misadventures of the world's greatest lifeguard Notch Johnson and his unit, Shore Patrol Force 30. Notch's unit is made up of Arkansas beauty BJ Cummings; Kimberlee Clark, the "smart, flat-chested one"; lifeguard from the 'hood, Jamaica St. Croix; and Chip Rommel, descendant of the German general Erwin Rommel. After the first three seasons, Porcelein Bidet joined the team. With his SPF 30 team, Notch set out to do things every lifeguard has to do, like stop illegal importers, drug dealers, mad scientists, almost graduate from Southern University College at Malibu Adjacent (SUCMA), and found a school for Retards and Orphans.

Just from this description, how can you not want to watch this show? With show titles like "BJ Blue Hawaii" and "Witness for the Prostitution," every show is full of innuendoes and double entendres. Many people may be put off by the fact that Howard Stern produced this show, but that is a lame reason to not watch. If you don't watch this show, it should be for two reasons: 1)You don't get cable or 2)you don't like insanely funny shows. Seriously, how can you not laugh when Notch is talking about his Hawaiian friend King Kumonnha and his nut farm? Plus, just about every episode has a scene where Leila Arcieri and Jaime Bergman get to show off their, uh, attributes more artistically than normal. How can you not like that?

In summation, there's comedy, high comedy, and then there's Son of the Beach.

Excellent. Reminds me of Sledgehammer of the 80s, early Married With Children or perhaps Red Dwarf... contrived, crude, crass, self indulgent and unrepentant. It's perhaps easy to dismiss, but watch a couple epis and you'll be hooked. Notch Johnson (Timothy Stack), and good writing help this stand out. There's a good amount (if stereotypical) character development with each episode following a predictable, but enjoyable path. The character's names crack me up... Mayor Anita Massingil, rofl. The Steven Hawking character was a bit too much. Perhaps they're finding it tough to one-up South Park. It's a shame it was cancelled. TV needs more of independent voices and less of the contrived, mass market, lowest common denominator Raymond and Survivor tripe. Find it and watch, if you can.

Only cable TV could get away with this mayhem. Maybe someday the big old dinosaur networks might get close -- but not in the near future. For now, networks serve up assembly line Punch & Judy shows.

Every tired cliche of beach movies, police shows, crime dramas, soap operas, and sitcoms is crammed into this BAYWATCH satire. The puns roll in like breakers on the beach. Faces get mugged along with characters.

I love a delicious satire -- and that's what SON OF THE BEACH delivers. What other show dares give us memorable characters named Jamaica St. Croix, Kimberlee Clark, and B.J. Cummings -- plus studly neo-aryan Chip Rommel? And Notch Johnson is a cross between Frank Drebin and Bugs Bunny.

I commend the people who created this show. I wish all TV comedies were this sharp, crazy, and witty.

Timothy Stack (of the late lamented "Night Stand with Dick Dietrick") stars as Notch Johnson in the sexual double-entadre charged Baywatch parody. Dick and his small, yet powerful unit of lifeguards seek to suck the evil out of every nook and cranny in which the find it. Sure it'll be long and hard, but if they penetrate deep enough and perhaps go undercover on occasion, they're sure to tap the vein of corruption and taste the warm salty aftertaste of a job well done. They've been in these type of sticky situations before and aren't above getting their hands wet. Shame this show got canceled prematurely though.

My Grade: B

DVD Extras: Introduction for each of the 3 discs by Timothy Stack in character as Notch Johnson; Commentary by various cast and crew on 3 ; 5 & a half minutes of Outtakes with introduction; 1 TV spots; a paltry 3 minute Behind the scenes Featurette; 6 & a half minute Son of the beach piece; 1 minute on the crew; 3 montages (Psychedelic, Baby oil, & Sexy Higlights); 2 and a half minute makeup artist montage (billed as 'too hot for TV', but don't believe it, it's ultra tame)

If you were a fan of the "Police Squad" tv series and movies and of the 1960s tv show "Get Smart" and enjoy seeing gorgeous bikini-clad women then this is the show for you. The first product from Howard Stern Productions is downright hilarious. Even the character names are significant: "BJ" (received her nickname from her high school football team), Mayor "Massingale", (as in douche), the mayor's oh-so-gay adolescent son "Cody" (in honor of Cody Lee Gifford), and muscular German-exchange lifeguard "Chip Rommel" (I guess they couldn't call him Chip Hitler or Chip Goerring or Chip Eichmann).

As Stern himself describes it, this show is "cleverly stupid". This show is one that must be taped and watched with remote control in hand, because the dialogue's humor is often very subtle.

This show is very, very funny. And real easy on the eyes too.