The Last Patrol

'The Last Patrol' feels eerily like a prequel to Van Damme's 'Cyborg', which began as a sequel to Dolph Lundgren's live-action 'Masters of the Universe'. In fact, replace the German pirates of 'Cyborg' with the Mexican geologists of 'The Last Patrol', and they could very well be the same movie. Not really, but you get my point hopefully.

Welcome to the island of California, in the early 21st century. An earthquake measuring 9.5 on the Richter scale has separated California from the rest of America. Naturally, this is an alternate universe in which Arnie never became Governator, and thus was not around to use his awesomeness to stop this devastating earthquake. Camping out at a military junkyard, Nick Preston (Dolph Lundgren) is an Army Captain who leads a group of survivors including Air Force Captain Sarah McBride, an Army sergeant 'Lucky' Simcoe and some civilians. Meanwhile, a bad-guy named Jesus and his evil-geologist partner have taken over a prison and are intent on taking out the remnants of the military. Unfortunately for the bad guys, the 'remnants of the military' include Dolph Lundgren...

So the story is something we've been told before, many many times, except this time it has Dolph Lundgren, who brings in a great sense of awesomeness. I was entertained, even if the movie was a bit slow at points. As to be expected from a Dolph Lundgren movie, there were some plot points brought up early on in the movie and then were hastily resolved, or remained unresolved entirely. The police officer promised dangerous killer mutants. Dagnabbit, what happened to the killer monster-mutants?

Despite the movie being a little slow at times, there were some nice action sequence, and the battle at the end was exciting. Dolph even throws a brick at a bad-dude's head. I can honestly say I haven't seen that outside of 'Home Alone 2', and I found it incredibly funny in both films. Other than that, I don't think Dolph's character ever fired a gun at any point in the movie, leaving a lot of Dolph fighting hand-to-hand, and a lot of Dolph acting.

'The Last Patrol' is an entertaining action B-movie. Avoid it if you don't like Dolph Lundgren, otherwise, enjoy - 6/10

The idea for this movie is quite interesting. It could be an interesting science fiction movie set in post apocalyptic world . Unfortunately it's not. From what I've heard the movie makers had very small budget . So small that they struggled to finish this movie . A movie with low budget doesn't necessary has to suck . This one is bad. REALLY BAD.

When you don't have money you can always impress the audience with other things : acting , dialogue , plot … "The Last patrol" is poor not only with production values. It's an action movie with no action ! The first fight happens here after 1 hour and 10 minutes ! That's right . Before Lundgren will hit and kick someone you will have to wait 1 hour and 10 minutes . The last 20 minutes of movie are "intense" – we have one shootout , 5 kicks , 7 punches and 1 explosion (not too impressive) . That's all you get after suffering 1 hour and 10 minutes of boredom. And some pseudo-intellectual dialogue about faith. Admit it – that's not the reason you watch action movie , especially with Dolph Lundgren.

So what's happening before the " big climax" ? Nothing . We are introduced to characters we couldn't care less about . To be honest if it wasn't for Lundgren I would swear I was watching some idiotic comedy . I guess they wanted to make a drama about people trying to survive in a destroyed world . I don't understand why they filled the movie with characters that could easily appear in "Police academy" – the milkman , the dragged couple , the pseudo-Indian , the dumb blonde girl , the macho soldier . There is a big twist involving Lundgren's past – I don't understand what was so traumatic in it . Seriously . I laughed so hard when the movie revealed his big secret . I expected something dark and heartbreaking , while it was all about a … simple talk. One meeting with black woman and children changed his life so much he had nightmares . It feels odd at best.

I have to point three dues ex machine plot solutions – one with the earthquake , second with the explosion and third with the rain. And the magical "saved from the death".

I also have to point that the movie drags all the time . It's boring like HELL . There is no interesting dialogue or good acting. "The Last Patrol" is the definition of words : dull and lifeless. And stupid.

I give it 1/10.

US Army Captain Nick Preston (Dolph Lundgren) is a relic left over from previous wars. He is left in Fort Edenberg, a military junkyard. Then an earthquake measuring 9.5 hits and California is separated from the U.S. Preston, Marine Sergeant Lucky Simcoe and Air Force Captain Sarah McBride are the only survivors on the base. They are joined by a disparate collection of civilians. There is an epidemic called Q Fever. There is a shortage of water. The prisoners at Nanwong have taken over led by Jesus Carrera.

This is a bad B-movie even considering its intent. The apocalyptic world is just cobbled together with random problems. I don't know what a plague has to do with an earthquake. Even a 9.5 wouldn't turn the world into a dystopia. Dolph Lundgren is not the best actor but he tries. There is some action but it's not shot well. This is a low grade B-movie no matter how you add it up.

Dolph Lundgren stars as Nick Preston, a soldier who survives an earth quake that separates California from the US and it is hinted that it was a global earth quake, so we are left pondering if it is only California or the whole world that has entered the apocalypse stage. Anyway there is a prison that survived and the leader looks to take over the world but before he can do so he must fight Dolph Lundgren. Dolph Lundgren is actually not too shabby in his role, he actually delivers a performance that has charisma and likability that is convincing to his character. Also Sherri Alexander isn't too shabby either and their chemistry has a few moments but generally this movie is too dull to be considered all that watchable. The Last Warrior is consistently frustrating because Lundgren will get into a good speech about the world being devastated and Lundgren manages to sell it, however the movie never shifts focus on this plot angle and instead figures to settle on the battle between Lundgren vs the prisoners. This part of the story can work if it has, oh I don't know, Action. The Last Warrior is the worst type of movie that nobody wants to see. It is a plot driven actioner without plot or action. We are left with so many confusing moments (Such as the mutant goats and their mutant owner, a woman who can make it rain and Lundgren rescuing a horse.) Truly this would have been watchable had the action angle or science fiction angle had been explored but because it isn't we are left to watch a sitcom like actioner that will surely disappoint Lundgren fans.

* out of 4-(Bad)

The Last Patrol was one of those movies I forced myself to sit through. On pretty much every level I was left disappointed. The plot, the characters, continuity and the ending.

For some reason I had respect for Dolph but after a flick through his filmography I could only obviously recommend Universal Soldier. He was the only element of this production that offered any attraction but, while he went through the motions pretty well, he was surrounded on all sides by the mediocre and the ridiculous.

I'm sure that some of the scenes could maybe have been reworked and the overall plot could maybe have been dragged into more respectable territory but the characters were, overall, poor. Those who were meant to be funny were just annoying and with the possible exception of McBride, there was a general lack of depth.

I just don't understand how these movies make it to DVD - we're obviously not talking big budget here but where's the quality control guys?