- Adam Carolla: Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do...
- Jimmy Kimmel: We're the ones that are supposed to be telling them what to do, right? Enough is enough, the Oprahization of America needs to be stopped!
- Adam Carolla: Yes, Oprah needs to do a little less brainwashing, and a little more sock washing!
- [dog poo explodes in Adam's face]
- Adam Carolla: Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
- Jimmy Kimmel: By the way, The Man Show is eligible for Emmy consideration.
- Adam Carolla: When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
- Jimmy Kimmel: I'd rather be a gerbil on Fire Island during the Vaseline Day Parade than see that movie.
- Jimmy Kimmel: We are building a dam.
- Adam Carolla: A dam to hold back the tidal wave of feminization that is flooding this country.
- Jimmy Kimmel: A dam to stop the river of estrogen that is drowning us in political correctness.
- Adam Carolla: A dam to urinate off of when we're really drunk.
- Jimmy Kimmel: We call this dam...
- Both: ...The Man Show.