Python

It is quite rare in this world to come upon a stroke of pure genius such as Python. Superb acting, a plot with more turns than a meter stick, and the special effects...Oh the special effects. Lets just say that George Lucas better watch out cuz the lead animator of Python Kevin Little is on his ass! So what if Johnny from Karate Kid is in it. So what if their plan to kill the snake was as half assed as they come( the guy took his harness off to put another one on!). Who cares if they out ran a snake that supposedly goes 50mph on bikes...which they made sure to put their helmets on before riding. And the ending...The ending was pure cinematic genius. I mean a bike shop/bar. Why haven't I come up with this idea. I could sell bikes and drink beer at the same time. That's unbelievable. And she's pregnant! Hooray! What is that about huh? Is she having mutant half snake half Johnny from karate kid babies? Why do we need to know this! And six months? It took that douche six months to get this ugly beast in the sack! I mean come on. If they are gonna be casting a female lead would you pick this chick! They had Jenny McCarthy in the movie for 2 minutes ( which were excruciating by the way) and they have this hose beast in the lead female role. What up wit dat! This was atrocious!

Stay Black,

Jamal the Love Mule

Ok, so this movie was a piece of trash. The snake, which only appeared two or three times in the whole movie, looked like the graphics from a Super Nintendo. And the writing sounded like it was written by people from Sesame Street. And let's not even talk about the random lesbian scene at the beginning of the movie, (I don't even know where to start with that one.) But COME ON!!!!! WIL WHEATON!!!!! How could you not like a movie that has Wil Wheaton in it. This purple hair really did something for me. I know I would like to buy a house from some punk kid with purple hair. And that death scene. That should have won an oscar! It isn't everyday that you see Wesley Crusher butted into a wall and then eaten by a giant venom spitting Python. This is just a fun movie to watch. Watch it with some friends. It is a hoot!

I don't think I have ever seen a more stupid movie in all my life. Now I have to admit - I always - ALWAYS - go into a movie or video with my head and eyes open to everything. I don't look at the lighting or listen to the script or look for any kind a flaw in the making of any picture. But sometimes you just want to kill certain characters in this movie. Didn't you. I COULD NOT STAND THAT DEPUTY that kept on pointing the finger at the biker guy as the murderer of those people. This movie was just plain dumb and the ending was even more dumb. It was like they were all posing for pictures and talking at the same time. Acting 101 - this is what this cast seemed to have just finished before starting this film.

For maybe the first 5 minutes of this movie-until they got to the

"se7en" ripoff credit sequence (by now, when you see a movie with

this type of credit sequence, that's a sign right there that the movie

is going to go downhill), which is intercut inexplicably with shots of

a guy mountain biking-I thought it might qualify as a guilty

pleasure. Then by the tiime Jenny McCarthy showed up, I realized

it was just really, really bad.

I saw this less than 24 hours ago but my mind is already blocking

most of it out. I think I rented this because I was looking for

something dumb and lightweight. Well I got those two, I just forgot

that it should be dumb, lightweight, but also entertaining. I haven't

looked at the credits too closely, but the movie is so wildly uneven

it looks like about 10 different directors and editors slapped it

together, none of them ever co-ordinating at all with the other, and

that half of them were just maybe random people-no, children-they

stopped on the street and handed a movie camera and asked

them if they felt like taking over for a couple days, and the other half

went out and spent all their paycheck on drugs. Actually I think

both, the 10 different directors spent all their money on drugs, then

handed the camera to some random kid on the street because

they were too stoned to focus.

A bad CGI python terrorizes a small town. that's about it. Not that

this would be a problem, if the movie were decent. Anaconda had

a pretty simple plot, and I liked it-it was trashy but at least fun.

Casper Van Dien and Robert Englund play two scientists or snake

experts or something who both try to upstage the other. Van Dien

has this mustache, which I think was supposed to make him look

older or smarter, but it just looks bad. The CGI python doesn't

seem very interested in eating people, either, just mangling them

or spitting venom on them. I guess it wasn't very hungry (though it

does eat a shower curtain at one point) or just cranky. The only

positive thing I can think of to say is at least this movie didn't try to

pretend to be anything other than it was, and had a couple slightly

amusing parts-well, maybe one. The scene with Jenny McCarthy

made me realize why she doesn't get much acting work. Her and

this actor who play a real estate salesman ham it up and overact

so amazingly in their scenes that it was way past the point of being

as amusing as they thought they were being.

The constant patting-themselves-on-the-back smugness of "hey,

look how funny and noncomformist and wild we think we're being!'"

that the film oozes gets old within minutes and ruins any sort of fun

you might have.

They must have blown their whole budget on Englund (I thought he

would have made enough money to retire by now-either he lost it

all or is just kind of bored, or took the job as a favor to someone)

and McCarthy, because as I said, the effects were terrible. The CGI

itself was OK in parts, but then it would be really badly

superimposed on what what obviously just the actors being filmed

pretending to see a big snake. The lighting didn't even match. It

looked like the snake was rearing up in front of a movie screen

that needed cleaning.

Anyway, this was just terrible and stupid in a bad way. I actually felt

sorry for most of the actors. Even Caspar Van Dien looks

embarassed, for God's sake. If you want a guilty pleasure, you can

do soooo much better. Try Wild Things, Nowhere, an episode of

Melrose Place, or Lake Placid. Caling this movie a guilty pleasure gives other genuine guilty pleasures a bad name.

Python is a film that is very reminiscent of those classic *B* horror films of the 1950's. It's a film that you know from the start won't win any awards for acting, directing or writing, but you find yourself unable to turn it off. You can't blame anyone but yourself for watching this film for the simple fact, you knew what to expect before you even began watching it. The star of the film is a HUGE python, genetically engineered to be almost indestructible, the characters are never fully developed, but overall, the film is fun to watch and if you can call this film a guilty pleasure, then no need to hang your head in shame, I found it hard to turn away, too!