Carnival Magic

The wonderful thing about living in Seattle is being able to choose among the many revival theaters that we film snobs have access to. On any given weekend we can choose between horror epics like Evil Dead, Psycho and Carrie; John Hughes' teen-angst epics like Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club and Pretty In Pink; or just plain obscure epics like Al Adamson's Carnival Magic.

Now, Carnival Magic comes nowhere close to resembling an epic in the Cecil B. DeMille vein, but does remind me of a particularly painful epic experience that I had at the dentist's office when I was around ten. The dentist pried, drilled, scraped and pulled for what seemed to have been ten hours and after the enamel and bone dust settled, I was a couple of pounds lighter and a much stronger human animal. If you are "fortunate" enough to witness Carnival Magic, I am willing to wager that your experience will approximate my dental adventure.

Carnival Magic is a children's film (I think) that "stars" Don Stewart as Markov the Magician (imagine a young Harvey Keitel). Markov is a magician who has the genuine ability to read minds, levitate and bend steel bars. When not performing one miraculous feat after the other, Markov meditates and hangs out with his English-speaking chimpanzee companion, Alex (yes, you read that right). On one ominous day, the carnival owner's daughter begs Markov to put Alex into his act to save her father's fledgling fair. Markov begrudgingly agrees. At first, ticket sales soar and Markov and Alex are carny heroes. Unfortunately, the jealous alcoholic tiger-tamer, who was once the main attraction, becomes tired of playing second fiddle to the damn dirty ape and decides to kidnap Alex and sell him to a vivisectionist.

As I'm sure you have surmised, Carnival Magic is sort of a simian version of Day of The Dolphin but, regrettably, Al Adamson is no Mike Nichols and Don Stewart is sure as Hell no George C. Scott.

This film contains endless scenes of North Carolinians (nothing against people from North Carolina, it's just where it was filmed) riding carnival rides, playing games and eternally sitting watching Markov perform his magic. Occasionally, the film kicks out of "She Freak" gear and grinds into never-ending inane dialogs between Markov and the other fair folk. In one infinite scene we discover how a former beauty queen is transformed, without supernatural assistance, from Miss Arkansas to Markov's assistant through a series of hard-luck choices she has made. Watching paint dry can be more fun.

I won't give away the big surprise ending, but if you make it that far you deserve the big payoff - bring plenty of Kleenex.

Critics and so-called film fans endlessly rail on about Edward D. Wood, Jr.s' Plan 9 From Outer Space, heralded as the "worst film ever made", (obviously, these people have never seen "Eight Heads in a Duffle Bag"), but you never hear anyone giving speeches about Carnival Magic. Well, that's just plain wrong. Carnival Magic is a cinematic endurance test of the highest caliber. It takes a magnanimous spirit to sit through an entire screening of Carnival Magic but once you do, you'll be altered forever.

Sitting through this film rather reminded me of my younger-self sitting in that unholy dentist chair. Sure, I had to white-knuckle it through the entire process, but it has made me a stalwartly cinema survivor. If I can sit through that, I can take anything they throw at me. If you consider yourself a true cinemaphile, (you must if you've read this far), you owe it to yourself to see Carnival Magic. Take it from me, you'll be a stronger viewer for it.

Carnival magician Don Stewart (as Markov) is fired from his job, but gets it back when he makes his talking chimpanzee companion "Trudi" (as Alexander) part of the act. The attention has a bad side effect when "Alex" is chimp-napped by a mad scientist and jealous lion tamer who think he may be the missing link. Director Al Adamson's wife Regina "Gena" Carrol (as Kate) is Mr. Stewart's bosomy assistant. Fortunately, Stewart kept his day job on "The Guiding Light" serial. Even more fortunately, Mr. Adamson's threatened sequel "More Carnival Magic" (1982) did not materialize.

*** Carnival Magic (1981) Al Adamson ~ Don Stewart, Jennifer Houlton, Howard Segal, Mark Weston

Carnival Magic (1981)

1/2 (out of 4)

Adamson, best known for drive-in stuff like Dracula VS. FRANKENSTEIN and BLOOD OF GHASTLY HORROR, ended his career making a couple kiddie flicks. This one was made in 1981 and LOST would follow a couple years later. Neither one was originally released to theaters and rumor has it that no one knew this film existed until police searched the director's home after his disappearance and found the film prints (before finding the director's dead body). In the film, Markov the Magician (Don Stewart) is fired from his carnival gig because the boss is under pressure from the lion keeper. Soon the boss' daughter discovers that Markov has a secret chimp who can actually speak. She convinces Marvok to tell the boss so that they can add the chimp to the act, which brings in a lot of money but soon the tiger trainer gets jealous and decides to steal the chimp. Yes, that's the story to this thing. Watching any Adamson picture can feel like an 70-year prison sentence but sometimes he would give us stuff so wild and over the top that you couldn't help but be entertained. Dracula VS. FRANKENSTEIN is the best example of this but CARNIVAL MAGIC is just a downright mystery. Who on Earth was Adamson making this for? Adults are going to be bored out of their minds and I think even kids would hate this thing. The film is certainly meant to be cute but it comes off more scary than anything else as you really can't help but feel uncomfortable with Markov and the teenage girl's friendship coming off a little weird. It also doesn't help that the chimp's voice makes him sound like a gargoyle or some type of freak with a smoker's voice who sounds like he's gasping for his last breathe. Another problem is that the screenplay is just downright bad as none of the character stories are of any interest and you can't help but feel as if the film should have ran no longer than 9-minutes at the most. Stewart seems bored out of his mind and wishing he could be somewhere else while the director's real-life wife Regina Carrol sleepwalks through things. You get the typical Adamson slowness and there are countless scenes that could have been left out as they add nothing to the film and in the end you're pretty much left with the type of film you expect from the director. There's no question that Adamson deserves his cult following because he certainly made some very unique films. Most were downright bad, a few are cult favorites and then there are others that make very little sense. CARNIVAL MAGIC is certainly the strangest film I've seen from the man and that's saying quite a bit.

I was asked on Friday, July 11, 1980 by Mr Feltner, while renting him a car, if I wanted to be in a movie. I'm sure I looked at him as if he was a dirty old man and he quickly read the situation and said, "Not THAT kind of movie. We are shooting at Earl Owensby Studios (which living in the area I was familiar with) and told me he would give me a line to say and $75. Sounded interesting, so I said ok, I'll be there. I drove to Gaffney on Saturday, July 12, 1980 to do my one line. In the directors cut he mentions that he asked the girl who rented him a car from Avis Rent a Car, me, to come down to Gaffney, SC to appear in this movie and that I rode down with him, which I did not. As I stated previously, I drove down the next day.

I had always assumed that the movie was never shown. Imagine my surprise after all these years, to discover that the movie was released and I was in it at around the 26 to 28 minute mark. The girl in the blue shirt in the Midway scene. I ended up spending the entire day. The monkey had gotten lose and they had to set up for the long shot on the Midway which was the scene I was in. It took over 2 hours to find the monkey, and another 3 hours to set up for the Midway shot.

I recall on the first take, after saying my one line, he yelled CUT! And asked if I could say my line less southern, as he didn't want the movie to sound like it was made in the south. I was a bit embarrassed but tried it again. Then I heard some one say, don't worry about it. When can dub over her voice later. To my surprise they didn't dub over my actual voice and they didn't cut my scene out of the movie.

After shooting wrapped for the day he asked if I wanted to go eat with him and the cast. I agreed and we went out to a local Steak House that served hush puppies. Don Stewart looked at them and asked what they were, cornbread??? I told him no, they were hush puppies. He nearly lost his mind laughing and asked me to repeat what they were until he had everyone at the table laughing at the word hush puppy and my southern accent. I won't lie, I was slighly offended. I can take a joke and laugh at myself. But when they started trying to mimic me and laugh, it started to get old. Mr. Feltner saw what was going on, he seemed to always be paying attention to everything going on even when you didn't think he was. He was extremely nice and somewhat paternal toward me. Being in a movie, even a sub B Movie, was an eye opening expericence. It does strip away a lot of the magic.

A magician in a carnival -- who actually can read minds and levitate people and objects -- works with a super-intelligent chimp named Alex, who can also talk.

Whether this is a bad movie or a so-bad-it-is-good movie will be up to the viewer to decide. I mean, either way we have to all agree it is pretty bad, right? But it does have a certain charm.

The "talking" ape is bizarre, because he basically just grunts and says nothing of value. There is a creepy 40-year old man who sexually assaults a teenage girl... and the next day she announces to her father that they are getting married. What? There is a mad scientist with s poorly dubbed German accent. Why? And a dead wife who is never fully explained.