डंजंस & ड्रैगंस

In what can only be described as the worst movie made in the past decade, Dungeons & Dragons will leave you begging for mercy.

Hands down, the biggest contributor to the demise of this movie was the script. It was litterally the most insulting, inane dialogue I have ever been treated to in a movie.

Props arrive next in an extremely close second. The 35 Million dollars used to make this film must have been used on late night taco runs, because the quality of the props is abyssmal. The "prized artifact" of the movie looks like it fell out of a box of cracker jack, while some of the armor and backgrounds are straight out of the Bargain Bin at your local toy store. Better attempts at fantasy film making have been shot on camcorders across the globe in people's back yards.

The acting was terrible all around. The few, and I mean FEW, attempts at serious dialogue were crushed by the worst script ever. The only remotely cool character in the entire proceeding was Demadar, who was still pretty goofy. I guess if I was 8 or so, I might have thought he was creepy. The notably great actors in this film should have balked the moment they saw the script/quality of filming, and their presence on the screen only adds to the insult.

Th producers of this movie should be ashamed of themselves. Hundreds of thousands of loyal D&D fans have been waiting for over 25 years for a great, inspiring movie from their hobby. D&D has a prodigious level of material written about it, and any one of it's 100+ books would have made a better movie if read aloud by Pee Wee Herman.

This horror show of a movie will no doubt ensure the demise of a great hobby in the public eye for at least the next 10 years. Any potential fan of the game will be unable to forget this awful movie experience. Consider yourself warned, and never, EVER see this movie.

It is unbelievable how this movie could have been created with such good actors and so much money, but such a bad script and directing.

Dialogues are painfully bad in this movie, as is the story itself.

The acting is also below any standard you would expect from such an expensive movie. Jeremy Irons was especially shocking, his performance was very pathetic and flat, as if this would be a bad movie for three year olds. That was not acting, that was a torment ! I cried every time he appeared on the screen.

Thora Birch was also far, far below her level in 'American Beauty', obviously unable to tell how one should put a little life into her bad dialogue and flat character, and somehow even thinking that that was her own fault.

If at all, the thief Snails (Marlon Wayans from Scary Movie) had quite some good moments in his slapstick scenes, the only good moments in the whole movie. Unfortunately they don't last long. Wayans seems to have a talent to shine even in the worst movies, however.

The performance of the main actor was also bad. His dull and cheap sunnyboy behavior really nerved me, and I saw absolutely no reason for his 'being special', but far more for 'being untalented'.

The effects where better than the story, but really not that exciting either.

Some people say fantasy is about stereotypes, but that doesnt mean you can forget all rules how to make up a good story ! This story was not worth getting on the screen. This story was also not worth getting such good actors and effects. This story was nothing but crap !

And I can't believe that Jeremy Irons and Thora Birch are such bad actors, they have proven they can do far, far better ! I can only guess it must have been the director who forced them to do such bad performances.

Definitely not recommended for anyone except maybe children below ten. Oh wait, they're not allowed ? No loss.

Ridley and Snails are thieves in the underclass of their world. Breaking into the magic school to steal they are captured by Marina but, when her master is killed, the thieves find themselves drawn into an attempt by the evil Profion to use the power of a lost sceptre to seize control from Empress Savina, who is trying to reform and make all men equal.

It is hard to really judge the plot of this film because I'm sure it could have been a rollicking, engaging "swords & sorcery" affair and it is only the delivery here that has turned it into a massive, insulting pile of rubbish. The way that the characters have to explain every single action in BIG LETTERS for the audience was something that grated on me and took me from thinking of it as lazy writing to finding it offensive that the writers thought I was too stupid to follow the story myself. Instead of being a strong narrative the film is just a basic adventure for kids, with effects and noise to keep them distracted. As such it is still only so-so because even children might struggle to care about the unimpressive CGI backgrounds and action set pieces. It'll please the very undemanding genre fan under 12 years old but unlikely many others.

The characters are another major failing – who thought that writing obnoxious, annoying or smug characters across the leads would cause an audience to be engaged by them? With this to work with, is it any wonder that the cast are roundly poor? Whalin must have thought his luck was in when he landed this role, but he messes it up with a performance that shows he is out of his depth and unsure of himself. McLellan is bland and quite irritating for the majority of the film but her faults pale in comparison to a trio of performances that stick in the mind as the worst of the film. Irons hams it up with all the carelessness of a pro who knows an easy payday when he sees it – he is hilariously terrible at times. Payne's blue lipstick seems to have affected his voice and every line is delivered as a sneer – it is never menacing and quickly becomes tiresome. However the worst performance is form, surprise surprise, Wayans who made me understand what Spike Lee's Bamboozled was getting at. He is a shrieking, mugging ethnic cliché – even worse than he usually does and even more annoying. The odd cameo from O'Brien or Baker do nothing to stop the rot and the cast add to the impression that this was cheaply made without much love.

Overall a poor film that will probably only appeal to kids. The plot is badly delivered and the effects are not as impressive as director Solomon was clearly banking on them being. The cast are lost in the middle of it all and not a single on of them gives a performance that you could call "good", all in all producing a pretty poor attempt at a blockbuster.

If there hadn't been a "Battlefield Earth", this movie probably would have gotten my vote for worst movie of 2000. The only way it is (slightly) better than that movie is the (very) occasional good set or effect.

I could write for hours about what's wrong with this movie, but this is what comes to mind immediately

(1) The horrible acting. I honestly can't understand why someone so talented as Jeremy Irons would be going so over the top. It's clear, however, that he isn't enjoying himself in the movie, so maybe he's getting revenge against the movie by acting so terribly

The most annoying performance goes to Marlon Wayans. His shrieking, cowardly character uncomfortably brings up images of stereotypes from the 1930s. At least he doesn't say "Feet, do your stuff!" - though he sure comes close.

(2) The bright, glitterly look of every scene. When you think of sword and sorcery, I think we all think of things rough and with grit. Not here.

(3) The movie constantly rips off from other (better) movies, most notably from the four STAR WARS movies

(4) The characters. Why the hell were the dwarf and elf in this movie? They could easily have been written out without consequence. And the main thief hero is one of the blandest heroes I've ever seen in the movie.

(5) Virtually all the special effects, sets etc. are AWFUL. Sometimes they look even worse than those seen on the Xena and Hercules shows! (Though those two shows at least have the excuse of having lower budgets - and they make up for the cheap effects by having better scripts, characters, and acting!)

(6) And speaking of scripts...thos script is terrible! Mainly it's because the story itself hardly makes any sense!

I've been playing or DMing (A)D&D for most of my 38 years. Even before I hit my teens I was writing better scripts for adventures then exist in this movie; there are so many plot holes the truck hasn't been built that's too big to drive through them, and despite having a cast of actors that aren't all that bad, the acting is in most cases similarly dreadful.

So, if you've ever played (A)D&D do yourself a favour and DON'T watch this movie, to avoid all the hair being ripped out of your skull whilst watching. If you've never played (A)D&D then STILL DON'T watch this movie - rent out Willow or Princess Bride or Ladyhawke or Lord of the Rings to get an idea about how good a campaign/adventure could be; watching this will just put you off ever playing the game.