The Order of the Black Eagle

Ok, I'm the first one to review this film on this site and I'm not so proud. Because I rent this movie just for fun and the plot was awful. This movie is about a man and a baboon, who kill bad guys, in this film the bad guys are nazis who have a new base in south America. The nazis plan to conquer the world for the second time. This film is crap, nothing else. The movie tries to be like Indiana Jones in someways, but it is awful. And...in the film the new nazis have froze Hitler and maybe in the future to revive him. If that doesn't sound corny, what does?

This movie is a classic somewhere, surely. I bought it from the video shop. The hero gets with both his female offsiders. He is called Duncan Jax, not Lax. The monkey, sorry baboon, (called Boon) drives this tank with teeth drawn on the front and Jax has a chase in this hovercraft with teeth on the front and missiles on the sides. They said it could never happen again, but they didn't know that Hitler has been cryogenically frozen by Nazis. We hate Nazis. The best of all the bad action movies, it has everything, except titties.

The easiest criticism to make against "The Order of the Black Eagle" would be to say that it is cheesy. However, it would also be an invalid criticism. This movie features a baboon driving a tank (!) and blowing up the bad guys - how seriously do you suppose it takes itself? It starts as a James Bond knockoff (complete with a scene where the hero gets his neat new gadgets from an Asian version of Q), then it turns into a modern spaghetti Western, with a team of mercenaries assembled to help the hero, and it ends as an all-out war movie as the good guys attack the enemy base (where Neo-Nazis plan to resurrect Hitler!) and blow up everyone and everything in sight. When you think the explosions are over, there are even more explosions, and then some more. The last 30 minutes are non-stop action. Despite the extremely high body count (including one beheading), the general tone somehow stays lighthearted. The blonde female agent that the hero initially teams up with is nothing special, but the brunette female commando he meets later on is a knockout. I might try to track down the other Duncan Jax film now. **1/2 out of 4.

Imagine that you have a very limited budget and want to make a James Bond-like film. And, because you have no money, you need to get 3rd rate unknown actors, cheap props and a no-name director. And, you'll have "The Order of the Black Eagle"...a terrible film in most every way. One of the most serious problems about the film is that instead of a sexy spy hero, we have a guy with a receding hairline who looks like a tax accountant--and who tries to score with women who aren't particularly attractive. To make up for this, they had the brilliant idea of giving this super-hero (Duncan Jax) a baboon sidekick--one that makes lot of rude gestures to try to distract everyone from how dumb the film is.

Speaking of dumb. The plot of this film is essentially that of "They Saved Hitler's Brain". However, instead of just saving Mr. H's head, these Neo-Nazis have preserved his entire body and plan to rejuvenate him and start the Fourth Reich in South America!! You can't get a sillier plot than this but combining it with bad acting, writing that THOUGHT is was very clever but wasn't and cheese, you get a dumb film that MIGHT be of interest to bad movie fans but to no one else.

Apparently, they made a sequel, but I don't think I'll bother.

This is a movie so bad it's actually thoroughly entertaining. It's a sub-James Bond movie with all the clichés and none of the brains. You want a suave spy? You have got him in Duncan Jax, though you have to take his baboon sidekick and his receding hairline, too. You want a damsel in distress? You've got her in Tiffany Youngblood, though she's not that attractive. You want grossly underwhelming adversaries? The Order of the Black Eagle gives you neo-Nazis led by the Baron - think overweight Perry Mason with an eye patch - trying to revive Hitler and destroying the world with a laser. Ooooooooh! You want an amusing sidekick? Sorry, all we've got is a supposedly humorous baboon.

The Order of the Black Eagle is perfect for homemade, Mystery Science Theater 3000 style riffing. Invite some funny friends, grab some popcorn, and watch this wonderful mess.

Daniel J. Roos film.ispwn.com