Meter-Mades

METER-MADES sets a new low in hardcore through out & out sloppiness of filmmaking. Though the end voice-over pleads with the viewer to watch for new "Bob Kirk productions" this director's name is mud in my book.

Stupid format has three San Francisco meter maids heading to the local Lineup bar after work, where an orgy erupts with some customers (such as porn vet Ken Scudder) including a drunken lout who hates meter maids, and the black bartender. It's an excuse for then-commerical mixed combo action. At no point in this film do the maids actually where their uniforms or hand out any parking tickets.

Rest of the film is boring iterations of each girl heading home to an irate husband, angry that wifey has been out all night but more than willing to hop in the sack. They all lie, and when they are forced to get together later on that evening, they confess to the falsehoods, and hubbies relent and film ends with a wife-swapping orgy.

This improvised junk is very poorly staged and photographed by good ole Bob Kirk, but the coup de grace occurs when the only non-top heavy girl in the cast, Toni Scott, is riding her husband and suddenly, in real-time (natch, this is a cheapie devoid of intra-scene editing) hubby's cock is covered in blood! No special makeup effects or gore -this is presumably an actress doing sex scenes while menstruating. No one pays any attention, the humping continues unabated -blood and all. It is not part of the "storyline" and in fact after he ejaculates at the end of this segment she duly licks him clean as if nothing happened. I can't say this is a selling point for the film, but it does mark one of the low points of my porn-watching career. (P.S.: I have since seen the same menstrual blood fetish in, you guessed it, another Bob Kirk movie.)