Ölüm Savasçisi

No doubt you've heard that Turkey made a bunch of no-budget ripoffs of famous movies ("The Exorcist", "Young Frankenstein", "E.T."). Çetin İnanç's "Ölüm savasçisi" ("Death Warrior" in English) is not a ripoff of a specific movie, but imitates the style of martial arts flicks. Except that it has ZERO continuity. The entire movie looks like a series of random scenes arbitrarily stitched together. I gave the movie five stars simply because the sheer corniness makes it very enjoyable: sped-up action scenes, bikini-clad women, and a shot that seems to be paying homage to "The Evil Dead". It's a perfect example of bad Turkish cinema from a director who apparently also did a "Star Wars" ripoff. Cüneyt Arkın is apparently a frequent star of Turkish action flicks, and continues to act to this day.

I thought I was watching a stupid movie, which I was, but I just couldn't stop watching it. I was laughing from somewhere else of my body, and was really happy that I watched this masterpiece.

Ölüm savasçisi (Death Warrior) brings you on an action-packed journey right from the very beginning. There is no rest, just sick punches and kicks accompanied by the best slap sounds I've ever heard. The scenes are insane, cut with precision and finesse making them well polished for the audience - impressive... really. I would like to add that I have no clue what they said through the movie, yet still, I got amazed and I think I might have figured it out somewhat. Or not. Anyway, I don't think it matters if you get the story or not. It's just a powerful mash-up of action, sick FX and martial-art choreography that blows you totally away. This is THE movie - don't miss it for anything in the world! Cred goes to Cüneyt Arkin for his well convincing acting, well done... really.

This movie is most likely the best I've ever seen. Why? Because even though I didn't understand one single word they said during this entire movie (except "telephone"), I still laughed so hard I started crying. Every single part of this movie is just over the top and utterly ridiculous. The sound basically consists of stolen FX from old and crappy Chinese kung-fu movies, which are then looped over and over, often together, to create an unrivaled cacophony. Even in scenes without intended sound, there are popping and crackling noises. (Also, Cüneyt Arkın owns Chuck Norris, even with his hands tied behind his back.)

"The death warrior" is one of the most absurd and awful movies of Turkish action actor Cuneyt Arkin (also known as George Arkin)and Cetin Inanc (director) duo. As a matter of fact the movie has similarities with the other Arkin & Inanc movie "Turkish star wars" as the concept is the same: "Copy a popular Hollywood action movie, replace the heroes with Turkish ones, sprinkle some Turkish philosophy and jokes, pump some nationalism...." here you go! The director never bothered with the details as to how the American police force members and Turkish counterparts are able to speak so fluently with each other, why the Americans did not call for help from a Japanese detective instead of a Turkish one, how some 30 ninjas appeared out of nowhere....and whey they are killed they get disappeared...etc...

Apparently the movie is aimed at the lowest grade Turkish audience and they never thought that in the future their work of art would ever be remembered....