Carnage

I bet this film had a great poster. They must've spent the money on something.

This is an ultra-cheap knockoff of films like The Amityville Horror and Poltergeist. It's about a newly-wed couple who move into a new house in which the previous tenants – another newly-wed couple – died in a sort of suicide pact. It's not exactly like this is an original concept. The problem Carnage has primarily is that its ambition vastly outstrips its budget and talent. There are many, many ghostly occurrences depicted but 90% of them seem to be bits of furniture and gardening equipment moving slightly. Scary kettle! Scary paper! Scary candle! It's basically atrocious. There are a few gore scenes spliced into the story to liven things up but they are not exactly convincing; especially the scene where the burglar is disembowelled – his guts looks suspiciously like Chinese noodles. None of this would matter so much but the pacing of the film is bad and the overall effect is one of boredom.

It's difficult to recommend this unfortunately.

Amityville Horror "Z" grade rip-off, but it's fun! Really, the film is just terrible but it really does have it's moments, a few funny lines between characters, and it takes itself seriously without over doing it with seriousness.

I really expected this one to have me rolling my eyes at the stupidity - but instead I was able to kick back and enjoy the movie. It's awful but in a good way. I find that my favorite characters are both of the parents of the couple living in the house... they are quite a trip to watch, funny.

The movie is really only worth a 4 at best - but I did like it quite a bit and had fun watching so I have to give it a 6 out of 10 stars.

6/10

"A newlywed couple moves into their new home and are ready to settle into their new life together. After settling in, the couple begins experiencing some strange occurrences in the home, and discovers, to their horror, the truth behind them. It seems the former owners of the home were a newlywed couple that committed suicide years before, and are now haunting the place," according to the DVD sleeve's synopsis. That the other couple committed suicide in the house is certainly no surprise. In fact, there is no suspense to speak of, in "Carnage". The film is simply a series of gory deaths, around the house… while a dog barks, indecently, outside… Not only does the couple NOT leave the haunted house, they invite other couples to join in the fun. Do not watch this movie without having other things around, to help pass the time.

* Carnage (1984) Andy Milligan ~ Leslie Den Dooven, Michael Chiodo, Deeann Veeder, John Garitt

My review was written in April 1986 after watching the movie on Media Home Entertainment video cassette.

"Carnage" is an old-hat, poorly made horror picture, shot in New York in 1983 under the title "Hell House". Filmmaker Andy Milligan, whose heyday was about 15 years earlier with pics like "The Ghastly Ones", delivers pure corn here and the feature went directly to home video without a domestic theatrical release.

Leslie Den Dooven and Michael Chiodo portray newlyweds Carol and Jonathan who move into a bargain house (a la "The Money Pit") where three years earlier a groom killed his bride and then committed suicide. Of course the site is haunted by that couple and many visitors are killed in gory fashion while inanimate objects move around amid other supernatural happenings.

For unexplained reasons, Carol and Jonathan love the house and won't leave no matter what mayhem occurs. Not surprisingly, they also become eternal residents. Picture is padded with inconsequential footage and a boring subplot involving a pregnant friend of theirs, Ann (Chris Baker) whose marriage is on the rocks.

Gore is exaggerated and phony, while special effects shots are amateurish. Milligan's use of a background score made up of library music makes the film seem at least 20 years older than its copyright date.

I should start by saying that "Carnage" was my introduction into Andy Milligan films. Not only are his films just terrible, but they are actually a lot of fun to watch, if you can get yourself prepared for them. "Carnage' is definitely no different. With some of the worst acting and special effects ever, I found quite a lot to like about this grade "Z" film.

The story starts with a couple living in a somewhat mansion. Something terrible has happened as they both kill each other in a loving? embrace. A year passes and the house is sold to a newly wed couple. Instantly, things aren't how they should be as objects move by themselves. Things start out on the subtle side but then get worse as people start dying. Some in rather gruesome form.

This is probably the worst haunted house movie ever made. The objects that move around are obviously used by strings and the sort. But that isn't what makes the special effects so bad. There is a few scenes that are in question here. Example: two burglars brake into the basement of the house in the middle of the night. When weird things start happening, one of the burglars starts climbing out of a window. An axe floats towards his hand and hits him with just the handle. Magically, his hand falls off in a bloody mess. Also, a scene where a priest is running out of the house and a butcher knife hits him in the shoulder, the next scene the butcher knife is in his head. This is the type of silliness you see in the movie.

The acting is pretty boring. I don't know if this is the actors fault as they weren't given much to work with and let's face it, Andy Milligan is just not a good director. Anyone acting under his directing is not going to exactly shine. It is this problem that makes the movie mostly slow and uninteresting if you aren't ready for it.

Altogether, this was a bad movie. It doesn't mean it wasn't fun, it was just bad. It is the type of film you get some friends together with and watch to crack jokes with. 6/10