Do Not Disturb

...by watching this tripe! I waited nearly 3 years to see this film because I really enjoy William Hurt's performances, so you can imagine how shocked and (yes) disturbed I was when I began watching it on cable last night and saw how unbelievably BAD he is in this movie. He has a ridiculous on-again off-again Southern accent, and he cannot say one single line of dialogue that sounds convincing.

The material he's given is horrendous, it's true -- badly paced, thoroughly uneven in every way: the plot veers from pathetic stabs (no pun intended) at black comedy to morbid, monotonous melodrama and car chases, with not one truly satisfying moment in the entire film. Jennifer Tilly, surprisingly, came off very well here - she was believable and sympathetic throughout. Actually, there WAS one satisfying moment -- when this torturous exercise in trashy tedium finally wrapped up and the end titles rolled on the screen. William Hurt must have wanted to visit Amsterdam really bad.

And here we have another try from a Dutch Filmmaker trying to go international with a third rate action flick. We 've got two American actors, once known for making better movies who look like they are in for the money, we have a kid with more balls than Rambo and some cheap looking stunts looking like they have been cut from a Hong Kong action flick. Only watch this movie to see what is wrong with Dutch movies, there is not one thing that is worth mentioning and that is rare, but what do you want with a director best known for the infamous "Flodder" series. this movie sank to the bottom of the movie graveyard and nobody did see it in the cinema's , with a good reason, do not be fooled with the trailer.

This ranks amongst the worst films I've ever seen. I bought the DVD based on the plot summary which sounded interesting and because William Hurt was one of the actors who normally features in great movies. After about 15 minutes, when we got to the gangster scene at the back of the hotel, I had to check the back of the box to see if it was a comedy rather than a "thriller with more twists and turns than the streets of Amsterdam itself". The ridiculous story line and the ham acting were making me laugh. I persevered to the end of the film in the desperate hope that there would be a great point or message but alas this film had absolutely no redeeming features for me. Truly awful. It says on the back cover "When you can't scream you can only run..." but I figured out another two options, cringe or howl with laughter.

Maybe Dutch isn't the world's most beautiful language, but neither is English, and it's really sad that a Dutch director makes a film in Holland were everyone speaks English. I could understand it if the director was American, but not now. Apart from that, this isn't agood movie, and some of the lines are really bizarre (f. ex the scene in the elevator:

• Malaria, moving north! - El nino, sir. Is it funny? No. And it isn't more understandable because it's in English. According to this movie, everyone in Amsterdam seems to be either prostitutes or drug atticts or both, except a few policemen and hotel managers

I'm in the middle of watching this turd on cable right now.

Despite all the good actors, all the performances are stiff as hell. William Hurt's performance is especially strange, with this bizarre southern drawl.

The feeble attempts at "humor" only serve to undermine any chance of generating suspense. Who the hell is supposed to scared of this half-wit hitman?

And the Marilyn Manson manque, oh wait, he's dead already. Good.

I'm going to sleep. Don't give a rat's ass how it ends (like I couldn't guess).