Hammerman

The millisecond I saw an episode of "Hammerman" on video for sale at Buck-A-Book (my favorite hunting ground for cheesy cartoons nobody else seems to remember; this isn't a plug, just a Public Service Announcement) I knew there was no way it wasn't going to end up coming home with me. Now, since I'm the first person to comment on this cartoon, and I always feel sad thinking about our dear Stanley Kirk Barrel's career, I'll be very NICE here.

The animation isn't all *that* bad. It might be cheap and choppy, but it also looks a lot like graffiti art, so it matches the old-school rap theme. And you'd be hard-pressed to find a purer form of cheese.

And, well, those are the only NICE things I have to say about "Hammerman", so I'll stop here. Those singing twin ladies might just be my new heroines, though.

Hammerman! Hammer! Hammerman! Hammer! Whenever there's a crime the goons are gonna do time They all better beware, cause the Hammerman will be there! Here's how it started A long time ago The legend of the hammer and how it began to grow! He was given magical shoes from a hip hop mo-town dude! Together they had power, they stood up for what was right But Gramps was getting old and he couldn't keep up the fight (Right) So Gramps and his granddaughter they went out on the road (Searchin) To find the man they knew could tell who was worthy of the load! They met a guy named Sally (Stan) He was dancing every night! He helped those kids play everyday His heart was out of sight! So Gramps opened up the bag, and took out the magical shoes He set them on the ground and they soon began to groove (right) The shoes knew at once they had finally found their man They hopped right on his feet and he became HAMMERMAN HAMMERMAN, HAMMER HAMMERMAN, HAMMER HAMMERMAN, HAMMER HAMMERMAN, HAMMER OH YEAH!

Yes there were some good things about this cartoon but it was obvious this was for MC hammer what Shaq FU was for Shaquille O' Neal or what Space jam was for Michael Jordon clear propaganda. I used to watch this show but that was 16 years ago and I would watch any thing on Saturday mornings back then. I remember it being pretty good hammer use his real name as a secret identity and had talking shoes that would turn him in to hammer man A rapping dancing super hero and their where two villains I knew of there may have been more there was also some friends who might have known he was hammer man and helped him out. MC hammer was one of the biggest stars back then but the show was canceled once hammers popularity faded their aren't even DVDs out of this cartoon.

And I mean it when I call this the worst cartoon ever but possibly not for the reasons you think.

As far as the story goes it's pretty basic and dare I say it had a good message. It starred MC Hammer himself in a bunch of live action clips that would introduce and close out the show. Each episode dealt with some aspect of life and had a lesson to be learned. MC Hammer stared as Stanley, a young man who taught dance at the youth center. But one day was given a pair of magical talking shoes which turned him into Hammerman, a musical superhero. Again, not necessarily a bad premise.

But then why is this the worst cartoon ever? The animation, or lack thereof, is terrible. Sure it's stylized in that experimental 90's way that a lot of places were trying. But the animation is just so janky that it's impossible to watch it without getting a migraine. This honestly looks like the kind of stop motion animation you made as a kid but more colorful and angular. It looks cheap. The animation is choppy. It's nigh unwatchable.

This is an experiment that should never be repeated. Ever. There are episodes floating around on youtube and various streaming sites for free. Watch it only out of curiosity and then stop after maybe five minutes because it's starting to hurt your eyes.

Good idea. Terrible execution.

As much as the theme song is terrible, it's catachy as hell, but this is the only plus on the show.

The animation is plastic and the voice acting is HORRENDOUS, and it's boring, but it saved from be a 1 because it's just harmless, probably the 34th worst cartoon in my opinion.