Dead Tides

I admire Piper for trying something different than the usual action movies he appears in. Here he plays a more normal character who tries to avoid violence and confrontations. However, this movie is so weak in the storyline and execution, I was finally pleased when Piper started bashing heads together. Also, movie has some of the WORST editing techniques I have ever seen in a movie, with jiggily camerawork adding to the chore of looking at what's onscreen, despite some pretty photography.

Teflon tough ex-Navy Seal Mick (Roddy Piper) soon finds himself under siege, piloting a sleek schooner for a no less luxurious-looking drug baron's wife Nola (Tawny Kitaen). It is not long before his sinewy special skills are needfully called upon as Mick lands himself in increasingly stormy waters! This entirely watchable, sex-singed 90s seafaring actioner is vastly improved by the amiable, aesthetically pleasing presence of Roddy Piper and wanton Whitesnake temptress Kitaen, as the oft waterlogged plot is ably revivified by these charismatic actors. B-Movie Adonis Miles O'Keefe also appears as single-minded a D. E. A hardass desperate to arrest ruthless drug trafficker Juan (Juan Fernandez). 'Dead Tides' is more of a salty Zalman King flesh-fantasy than relentless PM Entertainment bullet-fest, since lusty captain Mick mostly relies upon his harpoon than his trusty Roscoe! Successful ladies man Mick gets oar than he bargained for once he climbs aboard the more than ship shape seductress Nola in Serge Rodnunsky's pleasingly saucy shoot 'em up 'Dead Tides'.

Hey, he will never get an Oscar for acting, but Roddy showed some humility, a bit of sensitivity and played a romantically confused boat skipper guy that wasn't the usual killing machine he normally plays.

Best part of this film, besides the nice ocean photography, is my main lunatic/drug dealer (will he EVER escape these kind of parts), the legendary Juan Fernandez. Don't think I have ever seen Juan in a film without an Uzi in one hand. This guy always plays these psycho/GQ smoov ultra violent gangsters. The type that will smile at you while he's sticking a knife in sideways. The idea of he and Kitaen as a married drug-running couple was laughable. The Aussie guy from "JAG" (Trevor something) plays his usual brute (who hated Piper for being with his ex), but chills out at the end. Roddy ends up with no one at the conclusion, except his boat and the water, feeling stupid for having done this drivel of a flick.

Late night C level STV (Straight To Video) erotic thriller. A little action/violence, but mundane for a Piper movie. But Roddy tried. And I will give him Mad props for doing the not so obvious thing...

In contrast to the alternative title of this movie (Swept Away) I was definitely not swept away by what was a pretty lame excuse for a movie. Really, the only spark (for me) was the highly attractive Camilla More: she's a real stunner. The acting, overall, was useless. The film editing was awful (as rightly pointed out by an earlier reviewer). What more can I say ? Try to avoid this one if you have any choice in the matter.

I'm not kidding. This movie is the worst movie ever. E-V-E-R. I'm not saying don't watch it, because if you stumble upon it on late night cable, you will not be able to stop yourself. It's like a train wreck or an automobile accident. You know you shouldn't look, you know you don't want to look, that the horror is so terrible as to be unspeakable. And yet, there you find yourself, looking, gazing, staring, in wide-eyed amazement, that something this putrid, that something so horrible in every aspect, could make it into distribution in any form. Simply unbelievable.